My husband does not irritate me. But I love the other. I wake up and fall asleep with the dream of the other. I sleep with my lover once a week. He allows me so much. I want more, but I don't grumble at him, I know that the circumstances around him don't allow him. She sleeps with her husband. If I live with him, it is not right to refuse him. But I find myself avoiding it more and more often. Sometimes I have a desire for sex, but I want it with my lover, not with him. Not because my lover is better in bed, he's not. But I love him and I'm addicted to our closeness.
It was very difficult for me personally to decide on this step. I am not stupid or frivolous at all, I have many reasons, not excuses but real reasons. After 13 years marriage, a million unappreciated sacrifices, countless lonely nights I found myself in the wrong reality called infidelity.
Before you decide, you have to set some rules yourself, otherwise you burn.
First, think carefully about who to do it with, at least one must have previous experience. The man on the other side had a solid one, he taught me many subtleties and ways to hide and protect myself.
Second, you can't afford feelings. If there are any, you dull them, you don't let yourself think about them, you don't even admit it to yourself. Sexual attraction is one thing and feelings and falling in love are quite another. You do not ask the lover about feelings, the infidels do not like to swear love and fidelity.
Third - you have to be up - down in one position. In my case we were married with children, otherwise it is not equal. For example, if one of them is single or has no children, then things get complicated.
Fourth, never compare yourself with his wife and do not allow your lover to be compared to your legal husband, everyone should know their place.
Fifth but not least, the contacts are made from social networks of fake profiles, best opened in "incognito" mode. It is not good to call on the phone, because everything can be checked with a simple phone printout. And the most important thing, in my opinion, is that no one but the two infidels know what is happening. Forget that you can share this with your best friend or a relative in order to cover you. You can't trust anyone.
My extramarital affair is over, but I will share. I only met when my husband was on a business trip, personally I did not risk seeing the two of them at the same time. Not to mention that I will not be able to cope with the option to have sex with one and after an hour with the other, as has been shared more than once by other ladies here on the site. One day I will apologize, the second time I will apologize to the third my husband will doubt. It seemed to me that it was very tiring to hide all the time, not for everyone this job.
One piece of advice from me, don't think it's easy to always be careful what you do, not to forget to delete a chat or a phone call. To lie and hope they don't catch you. You need to remember where and what you said, not to arouse doubt, infidelity is not a spoon for every mouth. If you can't handle it, don't get caught.
Number 3 is absolutely right. One has to stop at some point if one does not want to explode. You can't cheat all your life. No way.
I was in position number 2. In love and lost. My husband understood. Divorce followed. My lover backed away and stopped looking for me. He was also married with children. Now I am alone with two children and I am trying to gather strength to move forward.
Number 3, you're one of the top junk.
Number 1, as it is a "topic for whores", why did you bother to open it and write a comment?
Well, if the marriage is not going well, let them separate, such love stories for years ..h.
3, hey like... want to meet a smart girl. Because I am also infinitely cautious. We won't have any problems.
3, do not understand. You feel underestimated, ie. you need a man who appreciates you, but there should be no feelings, ie. you do it for sex and hide. I do not understand how it is related to being appreciated, but not to have the right to feelings, only hiding and sex. I personally would not feel appreciated by a person who hides me and does not give me the right to have feelings.
And why are you married in such a way, when you are so damaged, wronged and victims? Let me guess - "for the sake of the children". I do not understand why you are subjected to this, but simply do not divorce and put an end to this agony, instead of exposing yourself and hiding like saboteurs constantly and humiliating yourself and your partner, and your children.
You see your lover only for sex and a good time. With your husband, more or less, you have the same problems as all other families. Sometimes you both get nervous and exchange harsh words and this creates tension. Some people, instead of thinking and trying to smooth things over, say; "I need a vent" and start as a butterfly - from color to color. They get involved in an extramarital affair and it's good in the beginning. The problem is that in many cases, feelings begin to appear and this can eventually lead to divorce. In some cases, the lovers eventually get together and start living together. Only a few months later, they are in the same situation they were in with their ex-husband / wife because they are starting to have the same family problems as everyone else. And then what? ... A new relationship?! ..
Do not think with your buttocks, but with your heads! Remember that in a divorce, it is the children who really suffer! So don't play with fire!
# 9 - Because they are lying, mean and cowardly mice. Because they are aware of themselves and know that no normal man will marry a bloodsucker, not even the one she has fought with behind the backs of her husband and children.
№3 You are nothing more than a coat torn by a gypsy. It is a pity that such covert and insensitive geeks as you exist and breathe the same air with everyone else. No matter how much you hide, sooner or later, your husband will catch you, kick you and take the children to live with him. One of our neighbors did the same and went abroad with the two children and for 6-7 years she has not known where they are and has not seen her children.
In principle, I do not swear, but to fuck you. How can you fuck with others when you have a family ?! What did you start a family for then? Let me get you into that, you bastards.
I'm sad about Number 3. This is a handbook "How to hate myself and prove to myself regularly that I don't deserve happiness." Why is this energy not focused on creation, on some education, qualification, anything at all that allows you financial independence, why should you live with a man you don't love and meet another person you shouldn't love? When is it good for your soul?
Numbers 12 and 13 you think very superficially. That you even share. I prefer to be surrounded by chicks like № 3, but unfortunately, simplicity prevails.
Number 3, wonderful comment. Ten out of ten.
Author, I just want to tell you that in the concept of "extramarital affair" there is no moment in which the lover is "everything for you".
He is a lover. A source of emotions and attitudes that we have either not received from the "legal" for a long time, or we have not received at all. From there we take everything that makes us feel real and alive.
The relationship with another man gives what the relationship with our beloved man once gave before she entered everyday life and we, the wives, became furniture.
Well, number 3, she said it best - the ideal option is for the illegal one to be married as well. So everyone has a trump card against the other and certainly does not use it.
In this regard, there should definitely be rules - the cards on the table. I can give you this and that, when you are and where you are. Point.
And what does it bring? Pleasure, adrenaline, positive charge. All these things, taken home, make it so that even the washing, cooking and all the household chores are not so annoying. They also make sex at home much better.
The mistake should not be made to compare one with the other, no matter what. Is an apple with a pear comparable?
No comparisons. One gives one, the other another.
I am no longer with the illegal for a number of reasons. I don't want to have another. What this man gave me, no one else can give me. I have some wonderful memories left.
And thanks to this relationship, I learned to appreciate, respect and love my husband even more than before. And to give him everything he deserves, even though I don't get the same.
And if it ever happens that our paths cross again with the other, I will not hesitate for a moment whether I should be his again.
Because I will be.
As in most topics, here is Ganyov's work - out of 13 speeches, only three are on the topic. And with an explicit request from the author who to speak. The topic is not about mentions about the infidels, whether they are good or bad. Either way, infidelity is a part of life and the topic is normal for the site. Aren't we here to share, get advice, answer a question, etc. !? If the topic is not for you, read, think and be silent! There are enough topics in which you can safely express your opinion about infidelity!
Number 3, I can't pass you either!
And in real life to see you again will pass you ...
17, and what is not a Ghanaian job? To applaud the unbelievers? Are there things so disgusting that a normal person cannot remain indifferent, no matter how off topic? In addition, no one has the right to demand who and what to say. And in the topic it is written that moralists should miss the topic, not the moral ones. These are two radically different concepts. Only in Bulgaria is it bad to be moral and they declare you a moralist.
It's like writing a topic "I killed a man, but I ask moralists not to write" and to expect only comments "well done" when I asked "moralists" not to write.
15, are you kidding? If you want to be surrounded by such women so much, I wish you with all my heart. But there is a saying "be careful what I wish for, because it can come true".
The dawn is when there were sex and pleasant moments in the family, and at one point there were NO pleasant moments and the last sex was pure rape.
I wonder why infidels, led by the author, can not accept opinions other than their own? Aren't you liberated, cool, happy, satisfied with two (at least) men, one materially, the other sexually? Aren't you proud of yourself, you don't care, you wrote whole manuals on infidelities and lies, and you can't swallow the contempt and take offense by being called whores? Why are you ugly and keep turning the worn-out plate for the guilt of your men, who are otherwise very good and you love very much, so you lie to them for years? And do you believe in yourself? I wonder how you kiss your children when you come home from the next session with the mouth with which you licked the foot of your stepper an hour before?
16 - and why don't you apply the same rule with your husband? Put your cards on the table and tell him how you fill your emotional and sexual deficits. Doesn't he deserve to know who he lives with and to look elsewhere for a vent from the gray everyday life? And who pushed you into everyday life and forcibly kept you by the stove and the washing machine? Well, spread your wings and take off in the pleasures and thrills, who bothers you? You are a hypocrite and this is the softest definition for you and your runners-up.
I'm number 3
Oleeee, it's not true what I caused with my comment.
By 4 thank you for reading carefully and it became clear to you that my extramarital affair is over. It all happened more than two years ago. I'm sorry for what you went through. That's why I wrote. The author asked questions and I just wanted to help. It seems that she is just entering this area, it is not bad to know some things.
Up to 5 at least I figure somewhere, even among the garbage I'm still top. Unlike countless boring and gray souls, where they merge with the crowd.
By 7 you are right, as the marriage is not going well, it must end. Immediately after the incident, I filed for divorce, and I divorced.
By 8 I hope you meet such a clever girl, I wish you that!
By 9 what do you have to understand, in this situation I am exactly from a lot of feelings and a lot of love for my ex-husband. I gave too much and received nothing in return. How do you expect a person who is trampled and spit to feel? Call me low and empty if you want, but this is the situation, I have no soul, I have no heart, how do you think I will be able to love again? Better to be so cold and insensitive than stupid and in love.
Up to 10 finally an impartial and adequate comment. You said everything with the right names without insults.
Whoever plays with fire sooner or later burns.
Until 11, call me a mean and lying mouse, but don't be so sure that no one will take me. It was my lover who wanted me, offered me a wedding with a ring and everything. I did not agree, I know that if he cheated on his wife, sooner or later he will cheat on me. I did it once with him, and he hasn't stopped since he got married and is currently cheating on his wife. At least I had the courage to get a divorce.
Until 12 I can't believe that the editors published your comment, how can you insult an ethnic group? Fortunately, I realized I was wrong on time. In that case, I forward your advice to all infidels to date.
Up to 13, we are miserable, what to do! We need to have us to realize how happy you are.
By 14, that's exactly why I ended my relationship with both of them, because I value myself. I decided to take my time, and now my soul is very good. I put my energy where you advise and I am financially independent. I look after my children alone and I don't have to humiliate myself.
By 15, they all want chicks like me, they're just ashamed to admit it. And yes simplicity takes precedence over the topic.
By 16 you complimented my comment very well. Everyone who attacks me seems more sensual than me. They have forgotten what adrenaline and emotion are. I am glad that you also managed to stop in time, to take the best and to stop.
By 17, that's exactly what I wanted to do to share my experience. I do not write on topics that I have not experienced, it makes no sense if you can not get into the shoes of the other does not judge.
You will pass me by 18 if I let you go, and I have many requirements and conditions.
Until 19 no one makes you applaud us. As we are disgusting, what are you looking for in this section, you are not just waiting for stories with flowers and roses. This is not the place to show your morals, every time the same, we are very righteous and moral, but it is our hobby to read spicy stories.
Finally, just to reveal, undisclosed and quality infidelity is not for stupid people, intelligence is required.
Greetings !!!
15. "I prefer to be surrounded by such chicks as № 3, but unfortunately simplicity prevails.
M 48 "
I'm 48, you're not on the subject at all. Take us "nasty moralists" to find such a "chick" as number 3. Or get it, in case you have. While you are "breaking up" from work, so is she, but from something else. But only if there is a reason. To "light up" such people always have reasons or skillfully create!
Author, to reassure you you will easily find such, see if you are looking for decent hard to impossible.
Again, the author, this without feelings in women seems to happen only in professionals. Mine also tried to have sex with me and how can I suspect her? But she betrayed herself by falling in love with the tramp.
I was married for many years. With a very problematic marriage. With incompatibility at any point. I rebelled against infidelity. I also rebelled against giving up the fight for this family. What my ex did and didn't do is not the subject of this story. And as I rebelled as a moralist, so life met me with Man. WITH A MAN. When I was first intimate with my lover, I was in shock. I didn't feel anything. I loved it but my body didn't react. He traveled often and left. As my shock passed, I began to really long for him. I slept with my husband and no, I didn't think about my lover while I was with him. But I became so terribly bitter. For my self. For the former, whose god I deserved to have an orgy in front of his eyes. I got divorced. I cheated and chose not to do it anymore. I can't handle that feeling. That's why I got divorced. And so it is most painless for all three of us. I do not want to be a whore in the eyes of the father of my children or the man I love and who is my dream come true. A little more in the eyes of my children. Because when my heart turned to another man, my own resisted me so much that it was only a matter of time before I was exposed. And I don't like to lie about such things.
NUMBER 16 kicked you twice, the third time there will be no peace !!!
Those who say that infidelity (the lover in this case) has improved their marriage are simply my favorites. One does not invent anything to apologize for one's shitty actions. You are old mice, as someone said above. You live all your life, and then you wonder where it came from. People like me are not moralists, but just normal people with a sense of honor and dignity. Unlike you. I hope you get caught soon. What song will you sing then ?!
Once you have chosen to be with a person, you are with him. When you don't want it anymore, you share that much. Why do you mouse, why is it necessary? Neither the second person will be anything special, nor anything.
Up to 16. Despite your philosophical reflections on your extramarital affair, it can be seen from afar that you are unhappy in your marriage and you love your ex-lover. And why is this masochism?
25, who gave us the right to judge? And who gave you the right to cheat? You have to ask yourself that first. Because the trial is a consequence of cheating, not the other way around. If you do not cheat, no one will judge you. By that logic, we should not judge and imprison murderers either. Exactly, you are not telling me about God, that it is terribly hypocritical to betray God.
24, "Immediately after the incident I asked for a divorce, and I got divorced"
There is your problem, you divorce BEFORE, not after the event and then you do what your soul wants and no one will judge you. Everything else is a base fraud, and the fact that they didn't appreciate you is no excuse. Usually, both are responsible for ruining the relationship, and they both have to fix it. If you tried, but there was no desire on the other side, you divorce first and then you look for a new one, not to cheat first and then to divorce. You don't solve anything by deception, but we prove that there was a reason why they didn't appreciate you.
number 25 Don't you judge? How did you condemn your husbands for deserving to live with traitors and liars? Since you were not happy with them and you were unhappy, why didn't you leave them and look for others? And even many of you when you get caught roaring and begging them not to dump you? Nobody likes to be lied to, let alone the person they live with. If it was you who cheated on you, would you rejoice and approve of the infidelity? You would condemn and spit more than anyone.
That's why I wrote above, you see what can be seen from the iceberg. There is a reason for something to happen. In order for my wife to cheat on me, I will also be to blame. And I'll think about what I pushed her with. We've been married for 20 years, I haven't cheated on her yet. I guess so is she. Anyway, I won't pull out a gun. In my youth I was with many married women and I know that in 80-90% of women's infidelities, the husband is mainly to blame.
Number 23, number 16.
I answer you with one sentence, I think it is enough.
I have made it clear to my husband that she has complete freedom to do what she wants and where she wants. No matter what it is about. The same goes from me to him.
We only have no right to neglect and behave irresponsibly towards the family we have created. And especially to your child.
And if he staggers, I have no right to be angry with him. NOTHING.
Understand it as you wish. Anyway, you're not my factor.
No 35 - And didn't this husband choose his wife? When she got married, where did she bleat? But even if we assume that she was wrong then, why doesn't she want to solve her problem as a civilized person and get a divorce, but have to lie and smear like garbage and hide like a mouse? None of the lovers here gave an answer to this simple question.
16/36. Well, say so, you live in an open marriage, there is no infidelity. You fuck in between and fuck with others without bullying. Well done! Why do you write then that you have created, only confuse the readers?
Reading the comments here, I can only say one thing - if I had their mouths - in this case the writing of such as №3 / 24, 25 and 28. The most ugly and disgusting deeds they know how to dress them in beautiful excuses. Poor martyrs !!! I will advise you to always evaluate a man in his attitude towards his own wife - towards the stranger and the savage is careful. If these pessimistic lovers of yours treated their own wives as they treated you, their whores, I am convinced that they would receive so much love and devotion that it would never occur to them to look for you. I personally know a man who lived without his wife and wondered how to please his mistress. I hope one day your daughters will not be in the place of a beaten wife, that it is not said by chance - God has slowed down, has not forgotten. The pancake turns. There is no excuse for infidelity. In whatever beautiful words you dress him, her ugly face will not become more beautiful. I will share that I was also taken for granted by my husband, that I also cried many times at night while he wandered, that he cheated on me in a disgusting way. But in spite of everything, it never crossed my mind to get back. Simply because I believe that if a woman is more or less normal, there is a gram of dignity she will not squat and wave her ass in front of foreign men. Believe me, even for them you are scum and they appreciate you as you deserve.
There is a difference from infidelity to infidelity. It depends on those in the triangle in question. All those who condemn her are in fact extremely selfish, fearing more for themselves than for appreciating the desires and freedom of the person next to them ...
How would you react if your wife said "There is a man I like and I am attracted to and I would like to spend a night with him"?
Number 37, you're wrong. First, what the woman has chosen is one thing, and what the man has become is another. Family life is a deep river with many whirlpools. Many compromises are needed. Nowadays, young people are not prepared for family life and the upbringing of children. There is a problem - let's get a divorce. Is it the right thing to do and why, and who will suffer?
Being a man means above all responsibility!
It is not correct to embrace and insult women without being aware of their problems!
And last but not least, why don't you condemn and insult men who cheat?
Comments 15, 25 and 35 are mine.
From 17 to 19
Applauding the infidels on this subject is also a Ganja job. There is a specific topic and it is right to talk about it. It's like being at the table and going out - there is a place to walk when needed, the table doesn't do that - when you go to the toilet, do it there as much as you want and as you want. And elsewhere you are wrong - the author has the right to determine who speaks, precisely because he is an AUTHOR. This does not invalidate your right to speak out against or about infidelity - it simply does not belong here. You are probably moral (I don't know you), but see point 4 of the rules - it is at least clearly written.
Number 39, you miss the invisible part of the iceberg. When you understand the difference between the victim and the mistress, you can solve the puzzle.
There is a reason for infidelity, understand it!
No more foaming/spamming!
№ 40 - the correct answer should be “Ready woman, no problem. There are two chicks, I like them much more than you and I will spend the night with them tomorrow. It is assumed that the wife is not extremely selfish and will appreciate his desires and freedom, right?
№ 17/42 - You are also knocked on the table because you do not have a line written in response to the author's question, what do you do when you have a lover and your husband is harassing you? And "How often do you sleep with the man you live with officially and do you sleep with him at all. How are your days going? ”
Let's see what you will say specifically on the topic.
For all those who say that there is a reason for their infidelity, I want to explain that when it comes to looking for a new partner, then it's time to put an end to the current one. OK, there is a reason, bad relationships, misunderstandings, lack of intimacy. You put an end, without lies and subterfuge, you break up, and then you look for something new. In most cases, why doesn't this happen ??? Why do relationships revolve for years behind the back of an unsuspecting spouse? No excuses such as children, a shared home, etc. are normal. Understand that everything is up to the person and his understandings. An honorable person does not do so and then justify himself.
46 because it requires character. Because it has consequences. Because sometimes one thing is missing, because of which you have to give up everything else. But without this thing does not happen either.
These are not excuses. And I do not say it from the position of an infidel, because I have never cheated. But I say this from the position of a man who has witnessed a lot of infidelity. And finally, if I had to put a common denominator, I would say that it is in families where priorities diverge from needs. The rest are people for whom infidelity is a matter of opportunity, but these are much more often men.
I'm number 3
I did not want to convince or deceive anyone that infidelity is a very good, right and right thing. I never said it wasn't a mistake. I didn't urge anyone to do it.
You called me "gypsy, geek, mouse," etc., but I'm not the first and I won't be the last to cheat. No matter how much you spit and insult, you have to accept that this is a part of life and no one is insured. I am referring to the comment of number 37, who is obviously very sure that he will never make the wrong choice. I want to ask what criteria determine the options, when a woman opened her eyes and when she blew like a sheep in her choice of husband? People change, their way of thinking changes. If I had come across this site and this topic five years ago, I would certainly have been on the other side of the spit.
I wanted to be at least a little useful to beginners in infidelity, I'm tired of reading and seeing stories from soap operas around me. As someone has already mentioned, there is a difference from infidelity to infidelity. There are people and women and men who cheat out of boredom and for variety, those who take off their pants after a cigarette time and two sentences in a row. And there are those who are so frustrated and tired of fighting for their marriages that they no longer believe in anything. How about the thousands of examples, of unhappy husbands living as roommates, women refusing elementary caresses, and treating their husbands? Lots of morale, lots of stuff right!
Until 39, the fact that your husband has cheated on you does not give you the right to enter the role of god, to give justice, to involve our children as well. You will call the "whore" the one where she slept with your husband, not people you neither know nor want your opinion. She said "you don't have a mouth" herself, wasn't the other one more eloquent?
Don't be so sure what life will bring you!
Hello, I am the Author. A good discussion took shape, but still off topic. I am a man of 39 and I deliberately wrote the topic so that I could hear the different opinions, but alas. However, we do not discuss for or against infidelity, bad, bad, a lie, at one point we got there to do it, no matter if someone itches or is tired of many other things or whether the action is justified. Let's blame ourselves on other topics that relate specifically to infidelity, that I watch even with murder, some feared it. So let him who has nothing to do with the original meaning miss the comments, read and pass by. Thanks in advance.
43-you turned to me and that's why I read your comment very carefully. You speak so Jesuit that I didn't understand anything. So what is the difference between a mistress and a victim - this brings me associations for a porn movie - aren't strict mistresses there. And I, the fool, thought we were talking about human relationships. And get me explained about the invisible part of the iceberg, that I should finally sort out the puzzle. "Infidelity has a reason, understand it" - that if I or someone else decides to break more than one hundred and one reasons will point out. I guess a man and I will address you as a man - no real man is looking for the visible and invisible part of the iceberg - so to speak, the root of the turnip, but acts like a man - whether to break, whether to throw, he decides. So you also foam less.
About 39
"I will share that I am also taken for granted by my husband, that I also cried many times at night while he wandered, that he cheated on me in a disgusting way. But in spite of everything, it never crossed my mind to return. Just because I think that if a woman is more or less normal, she has a gram of dignity, she will not squat and wave her ass in front of foreign men. "
Number 39, I don't see where the female dignity is in what you're describing. A woman who loves and respects herself will not tolerate what you tolerate and reconcile. She won't let them kick her and keep quiet and grit her teeth in front of people, because that's how she was brought up. No, this is not dignity. This is masochism. One allows others to treat him when he does not value himself enough. And no, this is not about "getting back" - such a motivation would be stupid and childish. I honestly don't understand from what position you condemn strangers and what exactly consolation it gives you in your situation that you didn't wave your ass in front of other men. Does the one next to you appreciate it? Or do you think someone will say goodbye to you? Do you enjoy being a martyr in the eyes of the people? No - your life passes, it kicks and humiliates you, you are unhappy, but you are convinced that you are doing the right thing and you are enduring. Realize, woman - why are you in this relationship? In my opinion, yours is worse than that of infidels. And no - it's not your husband who's doing it to you, it's not the whores - you're the one who allows her to be treated that way and the pressure to stay in that position. What you are doing is a crime against yourself.
1 misakua_01 answered