What does it mean "things didn't work out between us and it was over"? Obviously, "everything" is not over for you, for the older one it was another fool who tied him up, played with you, enjoyed his new toy and threw it away with other unnecessary things. To finish, you need to be clear with yourself first, then find out what didn't work out, and finally realize that someone used you just as a couch for a short break on the path to their perfection. If this will calm you down and motivate you to deal with your torments, I will tell you that you are not alone - I know a woman much older than you who has been in the same situation for years. A brief "relationship" with an experienced manipulator who managed to convince her that sex for "one night" is normal, and then let everyone keep looking for their mate. I guess you also came across a similar individual, he "swallowed" you in a moment of mental crisis, he listened to you, he didn't promise you anything, he didn't hurt you with anything in particular and he left you to screw up that he could to get it, but you're the one who didn't do something right, you're the one who felt the situation. "Ever since I met him, to this day, I wake up and fall asleep thinking about him." - With what thought? Thinking about why it didn't work out, what I didn't like, where I went wrong, why we broke up. I guess you don't even think for a moment that he took advantage of your condition or your inexperience, you don't even think for a moment that he was making fun of you. For a moment you do not assume that the problem may not be in you, but in his sick head and his huge ego. In general, your story is quite lean in terms of facts, but still the picture is clear - the important thing is to clarify for you, otherwise you will hurt your current boyfriend, you yourself will not feel satisfaction, you will spin in a vicious circle, you will you fight for lost causes and every year you will be back on the starting line. Sit down and write (write to yourself), be completely honest, what did your ex attract you with, what did you expect from him, what plans and dreams did you have, why did you break up, do you expect the past to come back, and if it comes back what new things can happen, etc. Try to remember your conversations, dumps, how it came to sex, what state of mind you were in at the time - I'm more than sure you won't be able to quote and 10% of the things you said to yourself, you will not find anything significant in the bubble that your ex inflated. This bubble has to burst, otherwise the feeling of unspokenness will bite you all your life, and when I say "it has to burst" I mean to burst it, but before that you plug your nose that I don't know what stench will spread. Get out of the fog, now it prevents you from enjoying the sun!
1 si_vis_pacem_para_bellum answered
What does it mean "things didn't work out between us and it was over"? Obviously, "everything" is not over for you, for the older one it was another fool who tied him up, played with you, enjoyed his new toy and threw it away with other unnecessary things. To finish, you need to be clear with yourself first, then find out what didn't work out, and finally realize that someone used you just as a couch for a short break on the path to their perfection. If this will calm you down and motivate you to deal with your torments, I will tell you that you are not alone - I know a woman much older than you who has been in the same situation for years. A brief "relationship" with an experienced manipulator who managed to convince her that sex for "one night" is normal, and then let everyone keep looking for their mate. I guess you also came across a similar individual, he "swallowed" you in a moment of mental crisis, he listened to you, he didn't promise you anything, he didn't hurt you with anything in particular and he left you to screw up that he could to get it, but you're the one who didn't do something right, you're the one who felt the situation. "Ever since I met him, to this day, I wake up and fall asleep thinking about him." - With what thought? Thinking about why it didn't work out, what I didn't like, where I went wrong, why we broke up. I guess you don't even think for a moment that he took advantage of your condition or your inexperience, you don't even think for a moment that he was making fun of you. For a moment you do not assume that the problem may not be in you, but in his sick head and his huge ego. In general, your story is quite lean in terms of facts, but still the picture is clear - the important thing is to clarify for you, otherwise you will hurt your current boyfriend, you yourself will not feel satisfaction, you will spin in a vicious circle, you will you fight for lost causes and every year you will be back on the starting line. Sit down and write (write to yourself), be completely honest, what did your ex attract you with, what did you expect from him, what plans and dreams did you have, why did you break up, do you expect the past to come back, and if it comes back what new things can happen, etc. Try to remember your conversations, dumps, how it came to sex, what state of mind you were in at the time - I'm more than sure you won't be able to quote and 10% of the things you said to yourself, you will not find anything significant in the bubble that your ex inflated. This bubble has to burst, otherwise the feeling of unspokenness will bite you all your life, and when I say "it has to burst" I mean to burst it, but before that you plug your nose that I don't know what stench will spread. Get out of the fog, now it prevents you from enjoying the sun!