Nobody Loves Me. Why?

 If he sees the bottle half-empty or half-full, he knows he's a pessimist or an optimist.

As children, we have a partial idea of their strengths and weaknesses depending on the reactions or the words of the parents and what we hear in school. Gradually, with the expansion of the circle of people we communicate with, we find new things for ourselves. We begin to build some solid notions and to be angry if we do not perceive us according to them.

The favorite teenage age

We are particularly inclined to provoke and experiment with ourselves and others. To discover how we would feel or what would happen in different situations, from different actions. We stare into the mirror-like the traditional directorial techniques in search of ourselves.

Around 20 we have a vague idea of what we are, what we expect from life, what kind of people we want to be friends, what kind of partner we are looking for. We are more inclined to our own assessment to have pretensions to accept us as we wish. This is good if we are very well appreciated. The main problem is when we do not think we deserve it.

When we think that others outperform us – both in appearance and in qualities. Logically we behave according to the image of ourselves – we expect to be rejected, not to like us. We avoid raising hopes or pursuing our desires and goals because we do not believe that we have the resources for them. And that we're not cool enough to be happy. Good or correct self-assessment is also not a guarantee of durability.

Although it is relatively stable, it is only sustainable at the thought level. At the level of feelings every failure, failure, lack of feedback puts us in the black hole Doubts about themselves for a different period depending on what happened and the situation. I have a pile of diplomas on the wall and good friends. At work, they value me. But on a personal level, I can't keep anyone.

Why do I somehow not help the words of my colleagues and friends that I am young, smart, beautiful and life is in front of me? In the foreground, the only feeling I'm not coping, I can't find a soul mate and nobody loves me.

I have a beautiful and loving woman,  Loyal friends, and a well-paid job. No development, though. I'm doing my best, but the boss doesn't want to praise me, let alone raise me. My colleagues are passing me. This model happens for the third time.

Nobody loves me.

I graduated with the honors interesting specialty. I've had a girlfriend for years, all job interviews have been successful. I like to have fun with my friends. I don't feel happy, though. I always wanted my parents to tell me "Bravo, my Boy." And the only thing I hear is: "What the hell, you can do more." Why doesn't anybody love me? My parents have always supported me. In any one choice. I haven't had any learning problems. I never had any friends, though. I guess I'm not as decent as they think at home, and hundreds more like that. If we do not feel accepted by the parents, if we do not have friends, partners, and success – Objective – in a professional plan – we focus on the sphere that is wrong. Of course, we're drawing on the resources that are powering us. The negatives and positives nonetheless tilt the scale in one direction – that of the lack of success. This leads to the conclusion "no one loves Me."

We tend to generalize and give an overvalue to the unpleasant things.

At first, when we are most hurt and vulnerable, we even neglect all the positive aspects of our lives. We always compare in two directions. With the people around him and his own slat. Both comparisons can be internally manipulated so that we feel good or bad accordingly. When we compare ourselves with others, we have the choice to do it with people who are like us who excel in any way or who are more unsuccessful than us. It depends on the mood and the choice we've made. When we compare ourselves to the ideal image that we have for us, we can always be unsatisfied – that we have not achieved everything we want. Or vice versa – not having any goals or expectations, so as not to be disappointed.

Because we're afraid of failure.

And we're afraid of success. In both cases, we're not sure we can handle it — the failure of pain, but success — because we don't believe enough in ourselves. Sinking into a hurricane of negative emotions is painful. It does not lead to a positive development, except that it defines a certain period of time in which we do not have the strength to make something new. It is here that its protective function-to prevent new disappointment, to avoid new pain. Another possible good side is to turn this into an incentive and a desire for change. To contribute to a new situation in which we would feel better.

How to get out easier than the swamp of the conclusion "Nobody Loves Me"?

Firstly, to set a time limit, In which we will feel gloomy and suppressed, for example, a week. With the firm attitude that after a week everything will seem different. Not the very world we can't change. But the way we perceive it, which is under our control. The second condition is not to try to get in one place and analyze the reasons why things are so.

Let's stop looking back in search of confirmation that we're not doing it.

Even if we find the reasons, it doesn't change the situation in any way. The solution is to admit that today is not quite OK. And all the negatives are up yesterday. From tomorrow, our life will gradually change for the better. Because we're going to do something a little bit to change it. We don't expect spells or a magic wand. It is not necessary to make a frenzied effort. If every day we do something quite small and not engaging – to take a walk or to buy gum, the effect gradually accumulates.

The subconscious is like a small child- Takes things literally, like black and white. It is equally joyful for him if we win the Nobel Prize or eat our favorite ice cream.

The message he receives is: "It's all right, life is wonderful. I manage my life and I enjoy it. "

It creates the feeling that we arrange and guided the environment around us.

And that leaves us room for a more objective view of the things. We perform multiple roles and have several basic life spheres in which we realize. If one does not go, the work for example, but we have friends and partners, it gives us the power to assume that once they accept us, we have enough qualities. Believing in ourselves. If I love each other, others will love me.