I will try to be as honest with myself as possible, although I usually fail. I prefer to deceive myself, to avoid revelations, to distort the facts. I feel bad. It happens to me more and more over the years. I'm 24, and sometimes I feel like I'm three times older. I don't understand people. Their desires, their dreams, their problems, their behavior, their worldview. I communicate freely and quickly find a common language with almost everyone, but this is only a seeming screen behind which I hide. I have friends, but I don't share many personal things with them. They know no more than half of my nature. I find some escape in communication with them and in our mutual moments and experiences. It is difficult for me to define the concept of loneliness, but what I am describing may be close to my understanding of its meaning, and perhaps yours. I don't have the ability to enjoy life and it kills me slowly. I am not happy with my successes, whether they are small or big, and I have never experienced them. From there follow the problems with motivation, which have been my constant companion throughout my life. I have failed more endeavors than anyone I know, I have disappointed people close to me. Every day I wonder why I am here and whether it makes sense to continue. I am horrified to think that I cannot give a clear answer to this question.
1 jenhallow answered
Hello, anonymous! Once again I have lunch, how in a site full of countless strangers, there are so many real people. And only in one opinion and the way it is written you can "get to know" the person on the other side.What world we live in .. It is easier to share here than a friend, close .. I do not mean specifically you, but in general Your subject touched me and it became somehow ... sad ... Because I found myself in the lines above, and I never understood people, I would even say that I am afraid of them, of the thoughts in their heads, because everyone is one in front of society and another in front of himself. Including me .. All these masks that we wear every day scare me. I was one of those who all listened, I was constantly receiving attention without looking for it, and my colleagues were so hypocritical and transparent. It's just that a person's eyes really speak. Many acquaintances, friends how many. I feel like I'm asking too many questions about life, illness, meaning, relationships, and countless other things. Just like you ... It's not enough for you to just exist, is it? You know, I have a theory, if I may call it that, that judging by nature, that the purpose of every living thing is to reproduce, it is set on the inside to leave a part of itself, then perhaps the real meaning is this .. The creation of a new life. Thanks to our parents we are here, we live, we breathe, we have the opportunity to write with this site here and now .. :) But there comes a time when this seems to me such a stupid "theory", because how many people create children without feelings, how many can't have children, others are not happy at all that they have ... And I'm spinning too, I'm spinning and you think, haha! I guess we are more emotional. And maybe we lack love? Isn't she the piece that can make everything better with a few ideas? !! Sorry for the long opinion ... I could not advise you anything, but I sincerely hope you find happiness and life satisfaction !!! F, 26