Hello. I sit at night and think and I don't get anywhere ... We come home from vacation and the TV and the computer are gone. We find a note from the son, who is 26 years old, that he is leaving the city and has sold these devices ... we bought them from a pawnshop, ie we bought them again. It doesn't work and it never worked. He has been coming home from the capital for 3 years and we have constant nightmares. We saved him from hundreds of stories, we paid him for the most expensive education in Bulgaria - he stopped after 1 year. He had an affair with everyone. Nobody likes him. I don't know what's wrong with him, what's going on. Talking to him is a difficult thing, and he was not such a boy. Sometimes he breaks objects and furniture and the like at home. He sleeps, wanders ... After his theft I took the keys. Now he's found his last port with his grandmother, but she can barely feed him either ... in short, he's been banished from us, but lives on the back of an elderly woman. He robbed her too, but she doesn't know it's him ... We are people who have forgiven for a long time and no longer want to. Who and what can help this person realize how much pain, bitterness and shame has nestled in my heart ... it doesn't hurt anyone ... as if, if he had the opportunity, he would sell our home and everything. I don't understand what happened to him. I offered to talk to a doctor, but he refused. I told him I was in the police and that didn't bother him. I wonder what this is about. I wonder what else to do. He created heaps of filth for us. I'm sorry that I didn't sit at the computer to write something nice, but I keep people like you busy with such texts. Excuse me. Who and what can help this person realize how much pain, bitterness and shame he has ingrained in my heart ... it does not hurt anyone ... as if, if he had the opportunity, he would sell our home and everything. I don't understand what happened to him. I offered to talk to a doctor, but he refused. I told him I was in the police and that didn't bother him. I wonder what this is about. I wonder what else to do. He created heaps of filth for us. I'm sorry that I didn't sit at the computer to write something nice, but I keep people like you busy with such texts. Excuse me. Who and what can help this person realize how much pain, bitterness and shame has nestled in my heart ... it doesn't hurt anyone ... as if, if he had the opportunity, he would sell our home and everything. I don't understand what happened to him. I offered to talk to a doctor, but he refused. I told him I was in the police and that didn't bother him. I wonder what this is about. I wonder what else to do. He created heaps of filth for us. I'm sorry that I didn't sit at the computer to write something nice, but I keep people like you busy with such texts. Excuse me. I wonder what else to do. He created heaps of filth for us. I'm sorry that I didn't sit at the computer to write something nice, but I keep people like you busy with such texts. Excuse me. I wonder what else to do. He created heaps of filth for us. I'm sorry that I didn't sit at the computer to write something nice, but I keep people like you busy with such texts. Excuse me.
Answers 13
The problem, of course, is in you first. You have forgiven when you had to leave him, even forcing him to take responsibility for his actions. This should have happened at a young age, when you still had the opportunity to impose control and respect even through a boarding school as a last resort. You missed this opportunity, did you do what is called "bear service". From now on, you parents can't do anything. You don't even have any rights, he is an adult and can ruin his life as he chooses. It is very risky, but if his grandmother expels him, he will be faced with a choice - HIS PERSONAL choice: - theft, assault on weak victims - suicide ... quickly or slowly, but in the same direction (alcoholism - alcoholism, drug addiction) - responsibility for your own life You can provide him with flyers for companies, who seek charitable work, offer accommodation and food. In such an environment, you will feel significant and important to someone. You will learn tolerance and care for others. The domino effect and everything else, until he proves to himself that he can, wants and likes to be a part of society. You are one of the worst types of parents - you always clean the children's problems, you do not allow them to feel guilty, to take responsibility, to learn from their own mistakes. It is not my purpose to accuse, to attack, I only state the facts that you have stated. Well, now you have to be firm if you want to save a young man - your son. I strongly recommend that you parents consult a good psychologist on how to proceed, given that you have created all the prerequisites for what your son is today. You have no right to make the next mistake - it can be fatal. I repeat that my idea is not to attack, but I strongly hope that you realize your guilt, not to feel guilty, but to realize the problem correctly and to react adequately NOW. Of course, you can just beat his jester from there and leave him to his own devices, mourning your ...
Really turn to the police and talk to someone there ... they will decide what to do with him. Eventually, they may get him used to a few conversations.
Your son is selfish and can take drugs or gamble or have a mental illness.
hello, you are only threatening him - doctor, police ... what's next? You need to change the way you behave with him. There is definitely a problem and you may not need to make a problem for a TV (because you will not solve the problem). If you show him that you love and care for him, he may decide to make amends for you. Being a man complicates things and would be difficult to share with you (his mother_ what is wrong with him. Understand this. The only thing you can do is be by his side until he comes out of the hole he fell into. This can happen after one or after ten months. Or it may never happen. You haven't written important things and I can no longer prove what kind of person your son is (does he have a girlfriend, does he drink, how many friends does he have - what are they like, do they work do they study, what is your son's opinion on important issues such as education, family, etc.). Success!
He doesn't have enough for drugs. He's obviously addicted now, as long as nothing touches him.
He's probably a drug addict.
and isn't your son a drug addict and that's why he's selling things to get money for drugs? check and help him. if he's just lazy and steals, kick him out and fuck him. such ungrateful people need to understand that if they do not understand the good, they will try the bad.
Drugs are a bad thing.
Съжалявам, чета и плача, защото имаме същия проблем... Бяхме прекалено добри със сина ни докато растеше и сега си плащаме за това, а как да възпитаваш със строгост, когато и на мравката път правиш? Трудно е и всеки нас обвинява, може би са прави, не знам... А най-интересното е, че на повечето наши сем. приятели, децата растяха без надзор, гладни и бити редовно, но от тях доколкото виждам, всички ще станат хора. Сгрешили сме някъде, а може би не, понякога тези неща са извън нас, но само ние знаем колко страдаме... Кураж от мен и не се предавайте
12, because I had a similar case in my close circle, I know people like you and your husband. my close relatives treated their son (adopted) in a similar way and totally confused kindness with cowardice and unprincipledness. I will not write to you about the result, it is not pleasant for any of the participants. no, letting the child do what he wants. it is not kindness, but a bear service, you have just moved on the path of the slightest resistance to be good in your eyes, but as you have already noticed, the effect is just the opposite. the children you write about have become human, they have just learned responsibility and hard work from an early age, something you have obviously missed. I'm not saying that hunger and fighting are the right methods, but the result is better than yours, as you've seen for yourself. I hope it's not too late to change things. F44
No. That those who were hungry and beaten as children did not help them "become human." They have become human nonetheless. What helped them the most was that they were not suffocated by unnecessary and excessive expectations. In my opinion, the problem is due to excessive attention combined with excessive requirements and expectations. Only n5 has advised correctly. You shouldn't have invested so much money in education, you shouldn't have so many expectations, maybe he just didn't study, and in some elite schools he was bullied with "spoiled" children. Abe, there were a lot of mistakes on your part. I think it sucks to judge a boy like that, especially the people here where they wrote and don't know him, don't know what's inside him. So find someone who will talk to him with understanding, without criticizing him, without condemning him. A man prefers - someone, who has communicated with more types of characters, more types of people. He must be a person with self-confidence, but calm, at the same time tolerant of the various negatives of people. But at the same time to feel it whether he is sincere or not. And this man to understand what the problems are and patiently help him solve them. Yes, such a person will be difficult to find - unfortunately, most mature people are quite critical and judgmental, at the same time they are not patient enough, especially in such cases ..., many of them have not overcome their complexes and have transformed them into various ones there. " smaller "negatives". So this person will be a kind of savior and inspirer for him. If you are more lucky, such a person will appear on his own. Or a therapist, but this therapist must have experience with boys like your son, otherwise it will not work. And your son may not take the idea of a therapist well - people in Bulgaria still find it shameful. Amy, I don't know what else to tell you, maybe if I knew him personally, I would tell you more useful things. However, I want you to behave and love him as he is.
How easy it is to blame the parent immediately -,, well, you made a mistake in upbringing; write here as the last exact of the wayless. The parent gave everything to the last: home, good care, good upbringing, work in several places and is he guilty? !! Trust is working forever in the case.
Until 13 and 14, from 12 :) Thank you for the reproaches from you, I receive them every day and from life! Parents like us are not looking for an excuse, they are looking for a way. We are like blind people, believe me! It is difficult, especially when you lose touch with your child, and he accepts his friends and their families as the best ... We did not limit, we did not deprive, we did not oversatisfy, we just ... we loved and cared as we thought , that it must! Our son was a wonderful child and I believe he still is, but when he turned 16, it was as if someone had replaced him with another child. We tried, we looked for the way to it, no and no! Everything outside was OK, for us there was only hatred and terrible, terrible aggression ... You know, for my happiness and hope, it seems to me that he is beginning to realize and recover :) A few days ago he gave me hope that everything will changed, and I, like any mother, pray for him,