All my life I have lived in some illusory world. We are a large family and in general it has always been mom messi, dad carries. My parents have a good job, we have always been together everywhere ... "idyll" - illusory. While I was with my parents, at home or anywhere, life and the people around me were foreign to me. I wondered how my friends still didn't get along with theirs, I wondered how people didn't have money, I wondered why everyone wanted to move out of their home, why people were so mean ... Now I understand them. I am now 18 - last year in school. This year everyone started working, and I wondered why they don't sit at home and study. So I did it and what? My life is good, I have a nice home and "family" - not me. I will enter the university where I want and what .. My parents have already found where I will work - they have drawn everything in my life. I live under a total dictatorship. My father is the colonel of the family, you have to walk on your toes with him, otherwise you will be beaten and mentally crushed, and my mother is silent. At home, of the 4 children, I am required to do the most. My father explains in front of everyone that I am his excellent student, Daddy's child, or in other words, "the characterless child who controls with ease." Let me tell you how our week goes. The colonel makes breakfast if you don't get up at a certain time - you feel bad. From there who to school or work. Then we all go home for lunch, you can't miss it. Mom must have cooked something tasty, otherwise bad .. If mom did not cook the boss becomes irritable and it is likely that one of us children will eat a slap or a scream. In the afternoon we see each other only at dinner and during the day our boss has written tasks for the day and checks if we have done them. If not ... I don't know what will happen, but I don't want to know. After dinner, everyone except my brother, he went out, I understand why, we play chess and tell each other how our day went .. Then everyone in bed, or who does what he wants. And so for a whole week. We work at the villa on the weekends and if someone does not go, you must state in writing what the reason is, otherwise you have no money for a whole week. That's how it is with us .. What does this lead to ... The other children seem to have survived somehow, but I haven't. I don't think I have an opinion or I know what I think. I don't have my own thinking, I have that of my father. I recently found myself in the company of different people, I started playing and these things changed me radically. I started thinking like myself, thinking about what I want, who I am. And my conclusions are that I don't want to study at all, I don't want to get married and cook for my husband like my mother. I don't want to live under a regime anymore. I know that everyone lives in a framework, but I want to build my own, not the one my parents want for me. In my family, there are rules and if I tell my father that I don't want to go to university ... He will probably send me to a boarding school somewhere. I have recently become a little more vain. I'm dating a boy who showed me how nice it is to be yourself. Along with him, I became interested in music, books, and not just school and success. The idea of pleasing my father already seems ABSURD to me. I dream of freedom ... I dream of standing in the park on Sunday and walking, but for my father it's a waste of time. If he finds out I don't go to school to be in the park with some squirrels, that's what he calls almost all my peers .. he will be disappointed and as I said .. he will impose an even heavier dictatorship. This is my frame. I just wanted to share with someone.
1 88_bianca answered
Being independent goes hand in hand with making a living on your own and not relying on your parents in any way ... If you want to do whatever you want, find a way not to be financially dependent on them and move out.