Hello, I am 15 years old and my mother suffocates me a hell of a lot. She doesn't let me do anything on my own, I don't fix my bed and room because she won't like how I fix them, she doesn't want to help her with anything like washing dishes and folding clothes because she thinks I'm going to break dishes , and for the clothes - she doesn't like how I fold them and she will fold them again after me, there's just no point in doing it. But that's not all. When I go out, he calls me in 30 minutes and if I don't hear the phone, he calls all my friends and asks them where I am, and no other mother does it .... I understand that he is worried, but that's all ... He wants to dry my hair because it will make it better than me ... It constantly monitors what I do at home. If I lie down and watch a movie, he hovers around me, enters my room in 15 minutes and watches what I'm doing, but pretends to come in for something else, however, for example, he touches the curtain and goes out.
Or when I take a bath I keep track of how long I stay, he asks me if I take a bath. Super too much, I don't have any personal space. What irritates me the most is that when I explain to her quite normally that what she is doing is not normal for a person my age and that she cripples me in this way by not letting me do anything on her own, she starts to get angry. She tells me that I am harassing her, that she is tired and she is not talked to. And this is every time. And he gets angry with me and tells me that he won't help me anymore, even if I want to, and the next day everything is the same. I just don't know how to explain to her that she's confusing and bothering me that way. He doesn't feel confused at all. And sometimes he goes crazy and goes to fight and scream. I don't care at all anymore, because whatever I tell her then nothing changes, we just fight unnecessarily. When I tell my father, he tells me "She just loves you very much and that's why she does it, you're all for her, but you're right otherwise" and that's it. I know she does it out of love, but there must be another reason ...
I don't know. She never thinks she's wrong, I'm always to blame for everything, and she's right. If she breaks a plate, she blames me for watching her. If they quarrel with my father, it's my fault. If I say what I think or how I feel, I harass her. I can't imagine what would happen if I had a boyfriend. It would be uncomfortable for me to talk to her about this and somehow embarrassing, I wouldn't tell her ... Please help, I just don't know what to do. How do I get her to stop treating me like a baby and finally hear me? I am always to blame for everything, and she is right. If she breaks a plate, she blames me for watching her. If they quarrel with my father, it's my fault. If I say what I think or how I feel, I harass her. I can't imagine what would happen if I had a boyfriend. I would be uncomfortable talking to her about it and somehow embarrassing, I wouldn't tell her ...
Please help, I just don't know what to do. How do I make her stop treating me like a baby and finally hear me? I am always to blame for everything, and she is right. If she breaks a plate, she blames me for watching her. If they quarrel with my father, it's my fault. If I say what I think or how I feel, I harass her. I can't imagine what would happen if I had a boyfriend. I would be uncomfortable talking to her about it and somehow embarrassing, I wouldn't tell her ... Please help, I just don't know what to do. How do I get her to stop treating me like a baby and finally hear me?
1 maryanne2111 answered
Well - why bother you in the bathroom? He thinks you're masturbating? You will do it in bed at night if you want. Otherwise I understand it to some extent. You too. It's obsessive, but she certainly thinks it's normal. There is nothing you can do but grow up;)