Hello. I am 25 years old and since I can remember I have always had a complicated relationship with my mother. My father and I got divorced when I was 14. I've heard scandals all my life. Whenever he quarreled with my father, he would pack up and take me with him. She wanted me to be on her side. Or he took it out on me and he went out, didn't come home for days and I took him away. He wanted to separate for another woman. They divorced and it got scary. He played some dramas on me, argued with me that I hadn't told him anything. I was constantly forced to quarrel with him, to pick on the other woman, to beat her. Although I loved my father very much, I quarreled with him because my mother would not leave me alone. He understood that and ignored me. Forget about me not calling me. Not that he paid attention to me before the divorce, but we still lived together. He created a new life, he has 2 children, whom I still do not know. In addition to leaving me, he wanted to take everything in the divorce. I have literally nothing from him to this day. Over the years, my mother got used to it and stopped picking on me. But my father sometimes had outbursts of guilt and was looking for me. My mother was going crazy. To this day, he does not accept it well. I notice that he looks at me very viciously. Speak badly. I have come to terms with this situation. But my problem is that he is always compared to me. She does what I do. He works a lot, and my work has no working hours and I have a lot of free time. I travel with friends and that irritates her a lot. She didn't go anywhere, she just worked, well, I have to do the same. Or a shift wants to go somewhere, there was no one. A man doesn't want to and she's always staring at me. Although, that doesn't stop me from living my life normally, all this weighs heavily on me. Now my father has become interested in me over the years, but I prefer to leave it at that. When I try to maintain a normal relationship with him, it's as if I'm going back and it causes me a lot of pain. I love him terribly and I'm not angry with him, but maybe I'd better leave it at that. I strongly hope to create a healthy family, not like mine. I just wanted to share ....
1 couple_x_real answered
Ignore them both to your own comfort zone. look at yourself. Your mother must get used to living without you. I would not look for a relationship with such a father.