My Husband Beats Me

   I guess you know that there is a lot of information on the Internet and I do not know what else can be said. I understand that in this case you need support. I will not criticize you, but I will not support you. I don't like both approaches. I don't think people should be crushed or approved for their role as a victim. I think I'll be more helpful if I make you think ... I've been a victim of domestic violence, but I don't think that is important because I have also been the victim of many years of smoking, then heavy drinking and a bunch of other problems. In general, the role of victim is convenient. It's safe. I personally like it. I don't have to be responsible. Life is easier. Already. You know ... I'm not going to tell you something like "take matters into your own hands", on the contrary, I support letting someone else take control of your life. I say it without irony. Why bother? There are men, they will cope. Well, everything has a price, we will endure some things, but we will have an easier life without being bothered. I really believe in that. The problem is ... where is this man? :) Do you know anyone who can 100% take care of your emotional, physical and financial well-being so that it makes you happy? In any situation? Always? Has there ever been such a person in your life and have you really felt happy about it or has something always been missing? :) Maybe a parent? Or? Was she really free and happy? :) Besides, do you suppose that it is possible to get rid of your husband and .... find the same one? There is a theory that people treat us the way we treat ourselves. They simply follow our subconscious behavioral pattern. How do you mock yourself, so that others are forced to treat you the same? I will not comment at all that the bullies of women are deeply complex underdeveloped embryos, so to speak, I am on your side. Because I was where you are now. And I will offer you a revolutionary solution to your problem. Don't go to the police. If you need to hear it from other people, what to do in your life, and it is not even certain that they will motivate you enough .... Don't. Wait. Sometimes one has to reach the bottom and will calm down that there is nothing to lose and then take matters into one's own hands. Maybe your time has not come. There is time. You can take a little more, can't you? You still do it for yourself. How far can it go? 2-3 broken teeth, broken arm or acid in the face? Do not rush. Wait to see what it is. Nothing is known after all. As for your son ... I'm sure that he knows. Every child knows. The question is ... what do you want to teach him? Because he will not learn from what you tell him, but from what he sees that you are doing. And one day you will just follow the example he had. The question is: victim or abuser? What do you think? I hope my thoughts have angered you and you don't agree. You need that energy. If not - at least I hope you reach the bottom sooner, because from there the road is only up. I send you many hugs and love. If not - at least I hope you reach the bottom sooner, because from there the road is only up. I send you many hugs and love. If not - at least I hope you reach the bottom sooner, because from there the road is only up. I send you many hugs and love.

   Your husband is a brazier, isn't he?

   Are you ashamed? !? Please? Abe woman, do you have a mind in your head? Do you think this is worth such garbage? And I do not apologize for calling it that, it is even diplomatic! To call him your husband first is perverse. Is that why you came together to build a family and happiness? How can you tolerate? And all that happens to them. Once it happens, serious measures are needed, in case of repetition - it's over! How can you become a concubine yourself, I can't figure it out? And did you think about your parents? And my child if he finds out in time? What about you - do you respect yourself? These things are revealed in an instant and no thoughts should stop this. I can't hit my dog, and some people hit their wives ... and they last ... Complete nonsense! Act, police, prosecutor, divorce court and rot alone for the rest of your life! Currently, even according to its laws, an accomplice in a crime, by covering one up. Because this is also a crime. People take matters into their own hands, how can such a thing?

   It is because of your child that you need to do something about it. The only thing you should be ashamed of is that you tolerate this freak. Go boldly to the police. I am sure that your child will be grateful to you one day for that.

   I will only say that I have a girlfriend - a Bulgarian who recently lived in Germany. He met a guy, everything was right, he gave birth and the harassment started. He took prostitutes home while she was in the other room with the child, he attacked her, he didn't let her go out ... Hell in general. She called the police and they immediately found her a home and a job in another city, and they tried him - he was in prison, as far as I know after that. Run away from this man, seek help, fight. No one has the right to touch you or hurt you in any way - mentally, physically, it doesn't matter. Whatever number you know, call and they will help you. If he beats you today, imagine what could happen tomorrow! As for your son - he is no longer small, I'm sure he notices what his father is doing to you. Trust me, it also traumatizes enough, and what example is this for him? If you tolerate and do not give clear signals that this beating is in total contrast to a normal relationship between two people, then do not be surprised if after a while your child treats his girlfriend / wife in the same way. ;) Courage! There is someone to protect you in Germany, believe me!

   But how will you be ashamed? You go and that's it !! Do it fast if you don't want this to go on for a long time! How do you even allow this conclusion to cause you this? Why does it do what the reason is? Does your husband drink? What? You had to write at least one case. For me, this is not a man, but a compensated likeness of one who tries to show how "great" he is by hitting a man weaker than him? To think that attacking a woman is great is like bragging that you are rich in counterfeit money.

   Did it occur to you that you had to divorce? Or do you think that you will go to the police, they will ask him to stop and he will love you again? No, no! At most, in the next fight to shake you in front of your son.

   If a man has the courage to hit a woman, then he is not a man at all. It's a pity. But if things escalate, you'll have to go to the police. It's dangerous for you.

   You should not be ashamed - he should be ashamed that he is attacking a woman. You can hurt your son if he understands how you are being beaten, and you are sitting and silent. The next time you get hit, you go and get medical treatment and run to the police - even better if you're in Germany, they'll lock you up there or issue you a restraining order. Go boldly, it's a shame to tolerate this freak - in Germany you will be protected, do not be afraid.

   If you are really in love with him, reconcile - love forgives everything.

   How to motivate you? You have already taken the first step and are sharing here. I will share with you how I motivate myself for various important things. I imagine I'm old and my life is over. When I die, I take stock of my whole life, what I have done and what I have not, the mistakes, the lessons and the successes. I suddenly realize that I only regret the missed opportunities and the things I didn't do. One day I know that I will certainly regret refusing to make an effort to change something. Refusal to help myself and the child. Will you one day be able to forgive yourself for not helping yourself and your son? Will you forgive wasting your time in shame and fear without trying to save yourself? Will you forgive yourself for choosing to hide the bruises at home instead of going out and showing them to the police and the court? Every day, every hour, every minute you have a new opportunity to act. Nobody says it will be easy. Nobody says it will happen without mistakes. The important thing is to start and not give up. One day you will look back and say why I waited so long. I tell you this as a woman who grew up in such an environment and learns to take risks.

   If a man attacks a woman once, he stops being a man and becomes nothing! Don't be ashamed to go to the police and file a complaint, because today will be a slap, tomorrow a beating, and soon ... much worse, respect yourself and remember that you are a woman in front of you and you have rights ... complain to the police you won't regret it, and as for your child, you don't want to take an example from your father one day ... does he beat you in front of his eyes, because if that's the case, your son sees how a man applies physical violence against a woman with impunity and in time he will think that if his father was not punished for his actions then he will not be punished now!

   I can't understand why you're ashamed. Isn't it more shameful what is happening to you and what you are enduring? No woman deserves to be beaten, no matter what she does! And what example do you give to your son? That he must always endure the injustices of life and be crushed? Not a gram of dignity, as his mother was?

   You have nothing to fear - you take your child and go to the Women's Home (Frauenhaus). From there, they will activate everything, your husband will be evicted from the dormitory, he will be ordered not to approach you and he will be interrupted by police interrogations. Call the police, they will tell you the address of the nearby women's home, the addresses are secret so that men do not come there. Be sure they will help you.

   Stop her with your fictional stories. Her husband beat her and she was ashamed to go to the police in Germany, imagine. Where it hits you on your body, only on the invisible parts. If he really beats you, he will hit you in the face so that you come to your senses, and if you have bruises there, your son has already seen them, so what are you telling us that you will stress him. Is your husband Bulgarian or German? If he is German, he will never hit you, but even if he is Bulgarian, he will not hit you in Germany. Apparently your story is made up just to blacken men. Stop your fictional stories. You are a woman hater. He was ashamed at last

   A month ago, there was a similar story about a woman harassed by her husband with a 15-year-old son. I'm already wondering if these stories are written by the same unemployed person who is wondering how to diversify his boring everyday life.

   You do not call was number 16 where to be ashamed, the woman wants advice and not attacks. I am a man and I know what a woman is going through, I would never touch a woman.

   And it was number 16, what world do you live in? A German could not strike, a Bulgarian could not? Are you 5? Or do you only know 5 people? There are good and bad people on all sides, races and religions doing good and bad deeds. I support number 1, read the comment several times. Take advantage of the fact that you are in Germany, there is no country with a better social policy, they will help you with temporary housing, protection and a lawyer. Number 1, you are very wise, you have an approach, thank you for what you wrote, I recognized myself in it and it will be useful to me! thanks

   To N. 17. You are right that all these stories are written by the same man-woman, old grandmother. For her, the greatest pleasure is to write fictional stories. N. 18. She should be ashamed to make up stories. I know who the author is and I tell you that the story is made up. She is not even married, but a lonely old woman. N. 19. You and n. 18 are very naive. I don't know your age, but you are naive as children. You believe everything that is written, and does it occur to you that many authors lie, as does this author. Do you know how many stories this author has written? How will you know !!!

   The author - the story is true. Yes, and the previous one at the age of 15. A child and a male bully is mine. One spins in a vicious circle and seeks support. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your positive and supportive comments. And those who said that the story was made up - may God give you a feeling so that you can learn when a helpless abused person seeks support. I'm still spinning in this impasse. I feel sorry for the child. She calls him "Father" and loves him. I am a victim yes! I still can't get out of the clutches of this exit.

   The women who survived this nightmare realized that the story was true. Thank you very much to everyone who supported me! And those with fantasies about grandmothers and 18-year-olds obviously their life is good and full hungry does not understand. If you were beaten and harassed, you would be different when you write here. I need help. I am a good person. My husband is evil and bad. He was an alcoholic. He doesn't drink anymore. But now it bothers me both mentally and physically. Do you know what an unfortunate person it is to pour his complexes on a weaker woman in this case, who suffers everything for the sake of her child !!! Good people and those who have experienced this hell would understand it !!!

   Think exactly about your child. Is that what you want him to see? How his father used his mother for a punching bag. And what example do you give him? Is it totally OK to beat your partner? Well, then he doesn't wonder if one day he, in turn, beats his girlfriend. This is what he saw and what he learned. So if you don't care what happens to you, at least think about him and what he learns about family relationships.

   If in any of the following excesses, the monster you call husband kills you, what happens to your child author? Not only will he be an orphan with his father a prisoner in a foreign country, but you will shake such a brutal guilt complex that he failed to protect his mother, that you will ruin not only his childhood, but his whole life. To prevent this, it is better to take urgent measures and take advantage of the country in which you live. And he is hardly so attached to a father who systematically beats his mother. He is more likely to feel helpless in the situation.

   There was a topic in which the author shared how his wife assaulted the child and received assaults and insults that, you see, he was guilty. And here everyone is crying for the author and explaining what her husband was like. Apparently in our country, as in the West, the man is the worst by default. On the topic: ma'am, violence is unacceptable, regardless of whether the perpetrator is a man or a woman. Whatever problems your husband has, that doesn't excuse him. A person who encroaches on his family does not deserve respect. And unfortunately I have to tell you that violence in 90% of cases does not change, and in the other 10 they do it only if they decide - another person can not change you. But here comes your responsibility - to stop this unacceptable behavior. I can't say I understand you, I haven't lived your life, but I was a victim of violence from my parents as a child - until I was old enough and began to defend myself. I'm not in your head, I can't know exactly what's wrong with you, but I hope you find the strength to face the abuser. You know better than me how to approach it, there are strong working institutions in Germany against domestic violence. Often the victims become psychologically attached to the abuser and even after leaving him, they return to him. You need to realize this and not allow it. You say you're staying with him because of your son. Think to yourself - is this the real reason or is it an excuse. It is disastrous for your son to grow up in such an environment. One option is to follow the example of his father, to treat the woman next to him and his children to suffer. Is that what you want? The other - to be cowardly and closed and to be crushed by everyone - even worse. For his own good - get out of both. You say you are ashamed, but I think your husband should be ashamed. The only thing I think you should be ashamed of is that you don't take action, you put up with it. But you can change the situation. Please succeed!

   You need to take action, especially for the good of your child. He certainly knows what's going on, and the fact that he has to put up with these things in his home traumatizes him a lot. You may not notice it, but it's true. Living in Germany is a positive thing, because the police and social services will protect you and, if necessary, send you to a sheltered housing. You don't have to put up with this harassment anymore, take action! Think about it - it beats and hurts you today, and tomorrow? If he attacks your son? The chance for this to happen is quite high. Seek help and save yourself and your son! I am a girl, 16 years old, living in Germany, who has experienced domestic violence and harassment from her father.