My Friend Doesn't Want Me!

The Story

Hello. I want to share my torments and you with a request for advice. I have had a serious friend for 3 years, I am 19 and he is 10 years older. Of course he was my first in sex, he really wanted us to do it in the beginning. We fight, we fight, I cheated on him in the beginning. I'm sorry. He said, I will not ignore you anymore, and we will do everything in sex. Things are not going well for us, sex is from time to time. It disgusts me in some way. I keep catching things from him ... And I don't trust him. He is always without a condom with him, because I love him and I know that there is no other. His cock has a strange odor and his head is flaking. I can't even touch it there. We've been living together recently, and I think we live longer as roommates. We go to restaurants, discos, walks in the mountains, but somehow I do not want to be with him ... I love him, but we fight a lot .. And not only ... We are both stubborn and rarely give up. Insisting on something I really want and telling me he'll kick me out of his house. When I have sex, he refuses me every time, and tells me to go fuck someone else, and that I'm a bitch. As a woman, I consider myself beautiful, for my 50 kg well built. I make up, I pretend and for what To be rejected as a woman. I thought of cheating on him, I thought of meeting someone else and just leaving him. I love him very much and it is terribly difficult for me, he is the only person close to me, I have nowhere to go if we separate. I have to be patient and I want so many things. I want a child from him. I want to grow old with him. After all the difficulties in my life, I only want happiness and love. I never heard I love you. I feel wanted by other men, not mine. Being with so much rubbish at once washed his mind. He told me once, after the first time everyone got tired. He tells me that I was relaxed only because I have cellulite and stretch marks. I was 47 kg and he quarreled with me to eat ... I was hungry, I ate almost nothing before I came to live with him. And now I have gained 3 kg, and he teases me, relaxed. He even photographed me in front of the mirror, photographed my cellulite and laughed at me. I cried. I told him that it's normal for people to change, just because I've been sexy before doesn't mean I'm fat right now. I don't train anymore. My stress is more and I eat normally 2 times a day. The story has become very long, although I have saved things for my life and the relatives I do not have. I don't know what to do and how long it will last ... I'm very sick that he doesn't love me ... And in our relationship he also has a contribution. I surprise him, give him presents. I show and say I love him. And at the same time, I am rejected and humiliated when he tells me I don't want to have sex. He was old ... I played videos of his grandparents now and they do it every day. I don't just want to fall asleep next to him, I want to have sex from someone else. We've always done everything together. I can be whoever I want, and I've said it many times. What to keep me with you when we fight, pinch, and don't have sex. For me, the relationship is 97% sex. I don't get any arousal before sex, and it hurts when I do. I get aroused by porn, but with lesbians squirting. I don't know why, but it really turns me on and sometimes caresses me downstairs. Some may say I'm a lesbian, but I'm not. So ... I don't even know what question to ask on the subject. It's complicated and I don't want to do it with someone else, and if I buy a vibrator, I won't want to do it once a week. It will affect

Last Updated
November 11, 2020