Hello, I am 13 years old and at the moment it is very difficult for me not to cry while writing this. All my life I have been cared for and loved by my mother, but I cannot say the same about my father. In general, this rude and nasty attitude started somewhere when I was five years old. Kindergarten teachers told him that I hadn't raised my hand in class and I didn't know what else. It was because I didn't understand all these things yet, but I definitely understood when my dad told me about the game. This day will remain etched in my memories for a lifetime ...
We were coming home and he started arguing with me, but by driving I mean yelling, yawning, and I was crying. He didn't stop yelling at me, insulting me with shit, sheep and all sorts of tempos. This also affected my psyche. Constant stress that he might scold me again for something, indescribable fear that I might not do something right and shout at me ... He has never told me before that he loves me. I know that he loves me and I do not deny that there were moments and in which we laughed, you understand me.
He cares a lot about my education, but he doesn't interfere in school. He takes me everywhere, he gives me almost everything. I have things that my brother has already used and half of them were broken, and when they gave a defect, I took it away because I couldn't keep it. But I'm not talking about materiality, I'm talking about love. I don't know what it's like for your father to kiss you from the heart. I don't know what it's like to tell you that he loves you. I went to the Olympics, to competitions, I won first places, but that was never enough for him. He belittled them, and sometimes even compared me to my brother !!! The worst thing. Whenever I see a friend with her father who says "I love you, honey", I feel sad because sometimes I need it too. Sometimes I need Dad to tell me "I love you."
And to this day, stress after stress... I even prefer to be at school than at home. He even insulted me for things that are not up to me. About once, when he made me bring the scissors, I didn't find them and he told me that I was incompetent, incompetent, and an idiot. I have no holidays for him. I don't have birthdays. For him, a birthday doesn't mean he can't insult me just for fun. Oh, he insulted me, a sheep, an idiot, a fool, a patch, and all sorts of things. At Christmas, he even gives me what I want only if he has some benefit from it, not me enjoying it.
Last year I asked for a printer and I was very happy to receive it. It turned out that I received this printer only to print tests and words in English. He literally sprayed it on me. I can not take it anymore. I have a feeling that at any moment I will collapse.
The worst part is that you can't talk to him about it. He will begin to explain to you by shouting that all his life he has trembled to raise us and to make us think. And he will say that such things do not work for him.
Hell, I can't stand it ... It seriously affects my psyche. Now I understand why my dad left college and doesn't want to call.
If anyone can give me some advice on how to deal with this I will be very happy!
1 darcyduke answered