I am writing here because of the impasse I am in and hoping that you will help me. I have two divorces behind me and two children, now older - 16 and 22. I have been living with my third husband for 4 years (we are not married, but we are married). Everything is wonderful, but my happiness is hard to experience because of a problem with my father. He reacted very sharply to my second divorce, we had a scandal when he found out about my new relationship, we didn't even talk for a while. Then we talked, but he warned me to do what I thought was right with my life, but he didn't want any more "sons-in-law." I took it as an angry reaction and decided that it would soften over time. But it wouldn't. 4 years have passed and all the time I have been returning to my hometown to see my mother and father alone. Every time on holidays I split up and bother because I want to go home to see them, but I have to leave the person alone, with whom I share bad and good. He is a foreigner and has no one to go to for the holidays. A few days ago I tried to raise the issue again ... rather my mother, because she accepts my relationship and even knows my husband personally, but unfortunately without success. My father was upset, shouted, repeated the same things - that he did not want to see more men. The problem is that I can't drive temporarily and the only way to go see them is to travel by bus or train, and the distance is long - over 400 km ... and somehow I hoped that finally my father could think me ... and to travel with my husband, to meet them at last. But it wouldn't. It's very hard for me and I don't know what to do. I know it 's pointless to talk to him right now ... Please advise me ... ... rather my mother, because she accepts my relationship and even knows my husband personally, but unfortunately unsuccessfully. My father was upset, shouted, repeated the same things - that he did not want to see more men. The problem is that I can't drive temporarily and the only way to go see them is to travel by bus or train, and the distance is long - over 400 km ... and somehow I hoped that finally my father could think me ... and to travel with my husband, to meet them at last. But it wouldn't. It's very hard for me and I don't know what to do. I know it 's pointless to talk to him right now ... Please advise me ... ... rather my mother, because she accepts my relationship and even knows my husband personally, but unfortunately unsuccessfully. My father was upset, shouted, repeated the same things - that he did not want to see more men. The problem is that I can't drive temporarily and the only way to go see them is to travel by bus or train, and the distance is long - over 400 km ... and somehow I hoped that finally my father could think me ... and to travel with my husband, to meet them at last. But it wouldn't. It's very hard for me and I don't know what to do. I know it 's pointless to talk to him right now ... Please advise me ... that I can't drive temporarily and the only way to go to see them is to travel by bus or train, and the distance is long - over 400 km ... and somehow I hoped that finally my father could think .. and to travel with my husband, to meet them at last. But it wouldn't. It's very hard for me and I don't know what to do. I know it 's pointless to talk to him right now ... Please advise me ... that I can't drive temporarily and the only way to go to see them is to travel by bus or train, and the distance is long - over 400 km ... and somehow I hoped that finally my father could think .. and to travel with my husband, to meet them at last. But it wouldn't. It's very hard for me and I don't know what to do. I know it 's pointless to talk to him right now ... Please advise me ...
1 mistrale80 answered
Don't ask him at all. You just go with your husband. If he wants to see you. If he doesn't want to, then you don't see each other. You invite your mother to you and that's it. You have the right to make all decisions regarding your personal life, as well as your father - in yours. As he does not want "sons-in-law", he will not see his daughter. I had such a problem with my mother. I think she is jealous of me and does not want to love anyone but her. He hated my first husband from the beginning. After I divorced, he instantly became "golden" in her eyes and I "guilty" (although he asked for a divorce), and as soon as I started a new relationship, she hated my second husband again. I do not care! If he wants us to have a relationship, he has to respect my choice, and that is to live with that person. What does "does not want sons-in-law" mean? ? That you make your father sleep with them? But he really has the right not to want you to take them to his home. Well, you won't lead them, but you won't walk either. Do you know how fast he will squat ?! Sensing that he is losing his daughter in this way, he will turn the plate immediately. My mother began to feel that she had no one else to rely on, and if she continued to poison me, we would be completely separated, and now she has changed her policy. Tomorrow I can divorce again and get married again, it's my job. If she wants to like my husband, if she wants to dislike him, that's her job. we will be completely apart and now it has changed its policy. Tomorrow I can divorce again and get married again, it's my job. If she wants to like my husband, if she wants to dislike him, that's her job. we will be completely apart and now it has changed its policy. Tomorrow I can divorce again and get married again, it's my job. If she wants to like my husband, if she wants to dislike him, that's her job.