My Ex Continues To Blame Me

Hello! I am writing about my (already) ex-boyfriend. We broke up for many reasons .... My reasons for parting with him are his constant lies about small and not so small things, his jealousy and his constant attempts to manipulate me. I worked abroad for a long time, they collected money for a house in Sofia and honestly there was no way to get involved in any way during these years. I don't like fleeting relationships and I've never looked for that. Honestly, I always hoped to find a man who would support me morally in my endeavor, unfortunately I was convinced early on of some things ... that they don't happen the way I want them to. When I met my boyfriend, he seemed right for me (I'm 28 and he's 27) .... Everything was ok until we lived together. We lived in my apartment because he had been staying with friends before. When we lived together, everything changed because I saw that he was not exactly what he pretended to be. He kept explaining to me how and how much he appreciated telling the truth, and the moment he was told something, he just made you regret saying it. I'm talking about elementary things, such as the fact that, for example, I met a colleague from my student years by chance and we talked on the street. Something like that makes him an incredible problem with nothing to do with it. Every time we had a big scandal at home or he felt that I was inclined to separate, the next day he started with small lies like that he was in the hospital, that he was not feeling well ... And so on.

My hair stood on end when he told me something like that and didn't tell me which hospital he was in. In the evening he would come home with various presents and flowers ... Thinking that this would happen. " Most of them have a house, a good job ... And after he met them, he kept putting his words in my mouth. That drove me crazy. It made me nervous. He didn't know all this time that I wanted to be with him, but I wanted to have understanding and not set such stupid limits. I didn't depend on him financially .... I was emotionally dependent on him a lot because I loved him and I was afraid of losing him, but at the same time I couldn't stand these constant lies and comments. There came a moment when I tried to reorient myself professionally here in Bulgaria, but I hit a rock .... This made the situation even more nervous, because my income was not high, and at the same time we drove her to survive. At the same time, his relatives helped him to start a private business with serious finances ....

Accordingly, he left his job as a bartender to pursue his private business. There is nothing wrong with that, I was happy for him, but I couldn't stand and just wait for something to happen to me .... I decided that I didn't want to be dependent on employers and it was better to collect some more money to open a language center .... I realize that I forge my own future and if I had not made the necessary efforts in the last 5 years, now I would not have anything of mine. I felt unhappy here because I couldn't find a job in my specialty and I was thinking of ways to make it happen ... Where, how, etc. He was very disappointed with my decision to go abroad for a few months. Things weren't going well between us before I came to this decision. We've talked a thousand times ... Things are OK for him, I'm the one, which fails everything with its decision to separate. He said to himself, "either me or your work abroad." As always - an ultimatum. We were a family, he says ... I don't understand what this family is, to hang on someone's head non-stop, to try to control everything, to see the person next to you that he wants to be realized in one way or another and you you explain to him that it is better to get a job as a waitress (given that I work abroad in my specialty, skilled work) until the time comes to realize himself in the field in which he wants to work. Now, 6 months after we broke up, I came out ungrateful because he had done so much for me, and I see - nothing. I looked after myself, choosing to go abroad for a few months. He does not look for guilt in himself ... Only in me. I feel bad, that we could not understand each other as great people. I can't understand why some people behave like that, as if you have no right to part with them for any reason. Only they can leave you, you can not. They do not even understand the main reasons for the separation, but those that bring them out. Otherwise, everyone is fighting over how much they appreciate the frank conversations and that things should be called by their real names ...