I think you're old enough to work and act alone. You can get to work, raise money and move out of you. I don't know why your mother tolerates your father's behavior. Whatever you decide, don't let it affect your life like that. It's certainly not easy for you, but believe me, if you decide to stand up once it gets easier after that.
Save money on scholarships (since you're not working, then you'll have time to study and receive) and move out to a place with them. If you study in another city, it's easy to get a job without him knowing. Maybe something part-time monday to Friday, for example. Don't leave yourself in a position of dependency. When you graduate, there will be pressure to find a job right away, and that doesn't happen without an internship.
I've been down this road, but except my father had a lot of credit and ended up not even going to be home. Actually, I'm grateful it happened, otherwise I'd have suffocated in the end...
It's your father and... T! Find a way to get a job, even if you risk a scandal and then get out of you! Your mother obviously doesn't want to do it, but you still have a chance. Otherwise, it's going to get worse! That he can decide who tomorrow you marry! And you what? You'il keep your mouth shut and accept no matter what kind of man he chooses you? In the 21st century, this is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE! Go ahead and save yourself!
Well, it's your own fault. He didn't let her work, he's already at university. After 18, you know who's going to give me a tilt at, just nobody! Get a job, go to sleep with a friend until you get your first paycheck and get a place and realize that your father can't tell you anything anymore, you're a big man!
G.
You're no longer small, and the decisions in your life are right to make on your own. If I support you, he's entitled to any demands on you. If I were you, I'd move out, get a job and learn what's in my heart, if I'm going to do it part-time. Act cardinal.
You and your mother are moving out to a place. It may be small, it may not be a big deal, but peace of mind doesn't have a price. I lived for a long time with an alcoholic relative who terrorized the whole family, and they cared for him and drooled him like he was a baby. It was horrible. Run as soon as you can. What do you mean he won't let you work? You have a job, you have independence from this despot. Yours is pure Stockholm syndrome- it's harassing you, but you're staying with him for some finger-sucking reasons. You'il never deal with this disastrous inaction, you just find excuses and wait for him to come to his senses. It's not going to happen. You're the one who has to do something. You'il be a traumatized and unhappy creature with planted complexes if you keep going the same way.
You're not a girl. The girls are underage and go to school. You're a woman. As long as you think you're a "girl" they don't let her work on, you're going to put your rags on and put up with it. I don't understand how you can ever claim your father.
The solution to the problem is very simple - behave yourself to your age and you will get proper treatment.
Well, this leads the western backward Bulgarian society with a way of thinking from 300 years ago. I hope Bulgaria is sold in a dungeon. These are the magnificent Bulgarian "values" that they represent.
My advice to you- get out of this madman as soon as possible. Get a job (very important that he didn't give) and get out of here.... It's a sad thing to do, this pseudo-"European" country.
You think if you were your son and he was a mother, would things be different?
You raise money, you go to a dorm, you get a job, and you become an independent WOMAN.
I'm sorry about the situation, child. The only way out is when you feel able enough to move out and work, be it with a friend or friends/strangers to share your accommodation. Abusers, whether physically or mentally, at these years have no way to stop. It's definitely not normal, and you're not the only one in that position. I, even though I am a man, moved out at night and never spoke to him until his deathbed, when I was still by his side for several months. It's your life, you owe it to him a little bit of respect and you don't take it to your future children, but that's it.
You're an adult, so nothing obliges you to stay at home with him! You move out to a place and stop supporting him. You get a job, combined with the university, and that's it.
Jen
Now that you're an adult, you don't have to comply with his wishes. Such a form of authoritarian parental behavior is unsuccessful and only destroys the child's psyche. Luckily, you're already a girl and you have every right to act on your own.
He forbids you from working? Impossible. There's no way to stop you from looking for a job, applying for it and earning your own money.
If your mother doesn't feel happy with him, advise her to get a divorce. Be her support! Stand up together against the tyrannical figure in the family. If it seems too extreme, persuade your parents to visit a family psychologist. I believe it will be useful.
But yes: if you really want to, there's no way he can stop you from leaving, working, etc. It is normal to worry about the financial side of things, but a number of students do well without the support (emotional and material) of their parents. Sad, but a fact. If they succeed, you can do it.
Now to everyone who says that if he supported her, he could behave as he pleased," he said. How many parents endure, or help their children financially until late age, or at least in student years (it happens often) , but if they love them, or at least be well-intentioned, they don't trample them in this disgusting way.
It makes me feel guilty for supporting me, yes, if he can stand you, you have to comply with him. When you want independence, work and support yourself, you rent a place and solve your problem.
Number four, and how did you decide it was her own fault? There's something wrong with your comment, you're obviously supporting the father in this case - but he sees who's right. So with health
The feminist poison has penetrated deep into your mind, and special treatment is needed for this malignant tumor disease. You say your father treats you like a maid because you're a girl! And what's wrong with washing the dishes and cleaning the house, all the activities carried out by the woman at home. You and your mother have to do these things because you're women, you're not men. Oh, with two domestic maids and with the technical tools... washing machine, dishwasher, food processors and electric brooms, what is difficult to perform? It's not enough that your husband feeds and is struggling to support you, but you're going to do the tricks and façades! Your mother and she must be damned and mouth like you, and it's hard to bear, otherwise your father won't treat her like a stranger, but you'il love her and cuddle her in bed. There, in the bedroom, all problems in the family are solved!
He's a master and he listens to his word and his will is fulfilled.
Of course you owe him and you have to listen to his word and fulfill his will, he is the man at home, the head of the family is and his word is law. It's not enough that your mother didn't have a son (the dream of all the men in the world) to continue his family, but that he probably does, and maybe he wants to command him, too? You should be grateful to him for not beating you up, because with this treatment of the man in the family, you didn't deserve anything else. Female independence? Come on, is the man dependent on the woman then? It's going to be another time. Nature has made a man stand taller than the woman in the hierarchy, so he is physically stronger and smarter than her, and that cannot be changed by feminist laws. You have to respect your father, because he's the kind of guy you've come into this world. No father hates his children, no matter the sex, and he always thinks about their good. If you go to university and he supports you, you have no right to be dissatisfied, because many others like you don't have that opportunity today because of financial constraints. Because of the femi hysteria and notorious women's rights (which no one has taken away yet), women have this mindset, like yours, and consider themselves untouchable, abusing male patience. Women's freedom was supposed to be a prison for men, more rights for women (according to feminists) and less for men!!! Well, it's not going to happen!
Hello, the author is... Thank you all for the advice! Things always have two points of view! I wanted to find a way out of mine to get out of, be alone, but without fighting with him... I guess there's no way without squabbling, but... To call myself a feminist or a mouth, I couldn't... I would say I'm looking for ways and ways to deal with the blems. THANKS SO MUCH!
Author, your father's approach is wrong. You haven't found a way into your relationship. Fathers almost always pamper their daughters and protect them from harm. To be in that position, it must be your mother's fault setting you up against your father. You don't just want to be free, you want female arbitrariness proclaimed by feminists. According to them, the man at home (the father) should not influence his family as the head of this family, but be a voiceless letter and obey the women at home, because the sexes are equal?! Equal, other time! It does not work in more than 85% of families. A man remains the most important figure at home, he has always been and will be as long as there are families, and women will have to get used to this situation, because the Chechens are very few and real men will never comply with female whims dething the male authority. Soft wrists are becoming dangerous in the west, where "democracy" has imposed a female gag with men, through perverse laws of female protection, and the population there has no growth. Thank God we are a Balkan country, and the filth of feminism has not yet completely inundated our population and women get what men deserve! They called it "domestic violence" and invented the Istanbul convention for a crackdown on the male sex. Again, it did not work out for them, because in essence this convention is about family violence and in Russia they did not decriminalize the law of domestic violence in vain!
Dear people, I don't know why you insist so much on feminism and things like that... I love my father because he's my father very clearly... I just haven't found the right approach to it. I understand it in one way, I don't have any work to do about home, but I want an understanding on his part... You made me realize that I'm a big person really, the point is, I don't know how I'm going to get that understanding from him, rather he's going to interpret his stuff and we're going to have a fight, and that's what I want to avoid... that's why I wrote for advice... because I have the right and I want to be more independent, but I don't know how to do it without fighting it because it's super violent... it's not feminism, it's human...
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