I don't know where it started, I'm desperate, to put it mildly. I really need your advice. I have the feeling that my life is like a vicious circle and everything revolves, repeats itself over and over again. I don't know if you guessed, but it's about a boy. I'm 20 and I like a boy who is a year younger than me, I don't think it's a problem, for me age doesn't matter, the person on the other side is important, next month will be 12th grade, he started a year more late, it's literally from my former school. The boy is wonderful, he looks really decent, he is not like most boys to smoke and drink, he only drinks beer and only goes out with friends. I remember that in the beginning of June I sent him an invitation, he accepted it and from there the chats started, it was about a movie from my story in Messenger, etc., we started writing to each other, he said, that he saw me at school and many times wanted to meet me, we started writing more and more often I felt more attached to him, I have a friend with privileges since April, he is literally my first and I accumulated a hell of a lot with him a lot of experience because we saw each other almost every other day, but when I started to get attached to the boy I'm talking about, I stopped seeing him, I just didn't feel okay that I liked one boy and at the same time I saw another and we are having fun. For the second month we have been writing hearts, kisses, talking to each other for hours every day, constantly making hints, just saying to each other that we love each other, compliments, etc., we send each other gifs with some kisses, even sexual ones, we talk often for sex, we call ourselves by nicknames "darling", "love", etc., but nothing happens. We haven't seen each other yet.
To put it mildly, I'm in love with him, if someone sees the way we talk and write, they'll really think of us as boyfriends. I started to imagine some things that we would be together soon, that I finally found the right boy and things would work out, but several times he told me that he felt like a sister and best friend and things like that and I the mood is getting worse. Even last week we started writing more about things like that and I thought he might soon even admit to me that he wanted to leave, etc., in our conversations talking about rougher sex I once told him, that I will tie him up and he calls me, and if you tie me up, aren't there any, that is, he makes hints to me that I don't understand. Yesterday he told me that he loves me a hell of a lot and he can't do without me and he started writing a hell of a lot and I shout to myself that now he will confess to me and he literally wrote " and my heart is broken. I'm crazy, I'm sick and I'm not in the mood. Every date with a boy ends this way - we remain friends or we totally forget, and I don't want that to be the case. I can't cause myself to suffer again this time, what can I do, tell me. Please approve my story, I will be very grateful to hear your advice and opinions.
1 idfwudfwm answered
It's just that the boy is a boy, for a girl of 20 I don't know how you liked an immature paw, you need a man. What do you expect this boy to give you, so if he has sex with you, he will literally accept you as an experience and nothing more.