Hello people! I am in a terrible impasse. I can no longer withstand the tension and fear in which I live. Yes, I am healthy, I have a mother, a father, I am not hungry, I have a home ... you will say what else ... but life is full of trials. I am a girl of 23. I live with my parents and I am of Turkish origin. I have never divided people by religion in these 23 years. But here's the worst (for my mother). In the fall of 2014, I met a great person. Things happened very quickly and we fell in love with each other. And yes, he was Bulgarian. Time flew with him, a great joker, handsome, smart, graduated, earns his own money. The first year everything was great until my mother found out about our relationship. From there, everything started to go to hell. He, the darling, came dozens of times to persuade her, to talk to her, and to bring food, coffee, flowers, the three of us went on a trip to Turkey, Greece, we toured in Plovdiv. BUT no ... that was a shameful, unattainable thing for my mother. I grew up with my mom because my dad is always abroad (scary dude). And I was very afraid of my mother. At the beginning I was fighting, we were shouting and I was not ready to leave home ... but my reasonable man stopped me. He considers everything several times, while I am emotional and I want everything to happen immediately. Mom is a very stubborn and powerful person. And he threatened me that he would commit suicide, and he threatened me that he would get a stroke, cancer because of me, and all sorts of other traumatic things. She made me promise her that I would not see him again .. and I did it because she is my mother and I was very much affected by her words .. we started seeing each other secretly .. I kept lying that I was dating girlfriends, with companies, in fact, I only went out with him. Of course, after a while he started to get tired of it, because we were constantly hiding, in some crappy cafe, we didn't upload any photos on social networks when my mom called on the phone, and he was next to me - I kept lying that I was elsewhere with other people and he didn't even say goodbye to my darling ... yes, but to a certain extent. I started to study in Plovdiv, and every week I was with them for a few days, instead of in Plovdiv, I lied to her to the hole as it is called ... I was in a lot of pain and I was afraid she wouldn't feel me ... but as I told you she is cunning and a smart woman, she immediately understood me and the movie repeated threats, terrible insults .. it hurts a lot .. a lot. We broke up with my man for a while .. and several times .. but hey we met once .. is love stubborn or is it unexperienced .. I don't know I love him so much. Now, almost 4 years later, things are repeating themselves. For a long time I lied that I don't have a boyfriend, but ... the legs of the lie are short - she constantly follows me and calls me asking for viber video calls, photos with friends to see that I'm really with them and he caught me at a shoot. .. It was very scary. I'm 23 years old mom, why? !? !? !? !! Now I'm done and I'm going back to my hometown, where my family and my man are .. A week ago she realized that we were still in touch .. since she fainted she was shouting, she was stubbornly stubborn, what would people say, she is very scared. Now she is punishing me with starvation, she would not eat or drink, would she die of starvation? what kind of nonsense is this mom? So what did I do? Am I on drugs, stealing? Do I go with married men, do I go with people 30 years older than me? No, no! People give me advice I'm dying of pain, I can't go anywhere because he threatens me that if I go out with him and when I come back I will be very sorry (will he kill himself?) Is he tired of complying and doesn't give a word to talk about this topic anymore? If I leave home and go to him, I don't think he'll like it very much. He wants things to go the normal way, not because I have to run away from home. What can people do, please give me sound advice?
1 amberlfillerup answered
What are you tied to yesterday's manipulations? She would starve, commit suicide, get sick haha. I want to see exactly how he does it. And this whole circus in front of the people - so that she is not ashamed, so that you are not with the man you love. If I were you, I'd pack up and change my number. I do not need such a mother who chooses herself and the human opinion in front of me. Tell your husband not to be infantile - he may want many things, but with an abnormal person, normal things cannot happen. And break the umbilical cord - at 23, and you call mom and dad like a baby. Plus you idealize your mother a lot - this is typical of early childhood, but we grow up in puberty.