I agree with number 19 - above all, respect and the common goals of the family are important, but there is a saying - "When poverty enters through the door, love comes out the window. "As long as you are not poor - to rent, medicines, bills, food - the rest is easy. I have been observing different models for a long time and I can say that with different people, different models succeed. Here is my friend Yu. - She comes from a small village, she graduated from two not very legitimate universities, already 32 years old. Long time no see? walking with the men, they used her and threw her away until she met P. / 31 years old /. He is a mechanic, sometimes he is not paid. She insists they have their own house in his village, near the city, so that they can be independent and be able to offer security to their future children. And here - she went to England for a year, they saw that it would not happen. When she returned, she bought a car with that money so that she could work in the city. Find a very good job. She earns at least 50% more than him, living in a room with a bathroom and kitchen in his parents' house temporarily, he covers with his salary all expenses, she saves her covers her personal expenses and those around the car. They both saved money, every corner, I don't know if they know exactly how much they saved. They have been together for 7 years, for me their model is successful and sooner or later they will buy a plot of land, build a house, but for some a bystander may look like this - this cook, lives with him, he pays everything, and she jerking your car and not? puka. But they know that she is the saver, that her salary is high and regular, and that he relies on this money when his is late, when his car breaks down, and on their common dream - their own little house. S. and V. - both 55. She was a lifelong teacher, he - a lifelong problem with alcohol. Never no ? has given money, live with her parents. All her life she tolerates him and teases him that she does not give money, that she has to deal with everything, pay bills, look after the children. When in 1997 the state went bankrupt and stopped? pays the $ 10 salary she even dug up a few fields, started watching animals in her garden until she was completely ruined. He stops watering, starts to? gives money, without much effort can earn over BGN 1,000, because he is a specialist, they do not pay rent, the bills are low. Soon their children go on their way, she loses her job and does not look for another, he finds an incentive to work and earn more. Today they live better than ever with his BGN 2,000, she takes care of her sick parents, she is not looking for a job. For me a successful model, because they have been together for 35 years, they are happier than ever. At first glance, however, people like the author will say - look at this one, she doesn't want to work, man? she endured. But he knows how much? he also owes that she will take care of his mother this winter, and also gives private lessons and in the meantime earns better than before. She was 26, he was 45. She had just graduated from university, he was divorced with half an apartment, a business, several cars. He has an idea for a new business and? proposes that she manage it at the minimum wage for the position, but with 5% of the profit. She develops the business, he earns about BGN 200,000 a year just for him, she takes BGN 10,000 from the profit a small salary per year (as they understood). He has a net 190,000 left, pays about 20,000 tax and is still a fat plus of BGN 170,000 (he earns many times more from other places) - he says? - see, keep your money, I will cover the costs, I don't care what you do with your money. After a few years, he saves enough and builds a family house that is only his, because they are not married. They both earn and are better off financially together than separately. The model is successful because they've been together since 2000, but look - some people whisper that she's a muffin and a Gold Digger, that she just sucks his money, that he gives his money to her instead of his first wife. They both know that he has long given his ex-wife his entire home, supports his children in expensive universities abroad and relies on his second wife's money saved if something happens to his business, if he gets sick and knows that she will be by his side at such a time. But look - the author here will see only one Muffin with a middle-aged man. He is 45 years old, divorced with older children, who live with him in the village, help him with the farm, the animals. She is 35 years old of Roma origin, abandoned with a big and happily married Bulgarian daughter. They both live in his house. He covers all the expenses from his salary as a tractor driver in the Cooperative, she takes care of the cows, the home, his children. She pays nothing, but everyone is happy to be his wife. The model is correct because they have been together for at least 5 years, they have been through good and bad, they have looked after sick parents, they have buried them, in the winter they share the cold in the small old country house, in the summer it is terrible heat. The author will raise a finger - a dirty gypsy, just sucks the money of the man who trembles from morning to night, but does not know that when they sell in the spring the calves she took care of pay all the borscht, he does not know that they spend the winter with her winter clothes. .... ... .... We all know all sorts of examples of men and women who have been together for many, many years - married, unmarried, but happy together. They buy and build houses, repair their parents' old panels, save, buy food, take care of their children, take care of the sick and the elderly. What do you think - is this achieved if one sucks from the other and the man is a slave to his wife or vice versa? Until tomorrow, we can argue about whether women, whether men are bad or good, but I will tell you one thing - a man and a woman in marriage (strong relationship) can achieve much more together than separately, if they think as WE, not as ME. Sometimes it is better to leave the woman's money in it, because you know that she is a good saver, and you will waste it, because it will give you some 1000 BGN, if you hit the car, for example, sometimes it is better to give recognition. to her husband instead of telling him how you managed on your own ... Everyone finds their own model. There are different people, different models, but for me, if you are with someone over 10, if you are happy with him, you have a home, you have paid your bills and you have something to eat, then your model is successful. Starting to grumble like the author from the beginning is the only wrong strategy. To have a successful marriage, you must first have a marriage.
1 tiz.zaqyah answered
Author, there are other complexes on the site, but your story is the most banal and boring. Tell yourself straight - I can't afford to have a family, no wealthy woman will take me because there is nothing to do? I suggest. The grapes are sour in two words. The truth is one - women run away from men like you. There is nothing more repulsive than a man's laziness and complex, but with pretensions. And if you deceive a fool after all, he will actually cheat on you. From this point of view - you are right, but for yourself and for those like you - for God's sake, do not create families! Otherwise - people from Vancouver to Vladivostok have financial problems, but a typical syndrome of the Bulgarian complex man is that he justifies himself with the state, the system, even if there was no war and cataclysms in which brave and worthy men die to remain female enough to such as them. Mercantile or not - women, run away from the Bulgarian complex, you will not see daylight. In addition to all the grumbling and excuses, you will have to put up with his mom, because there is no older mother's son than this type of men. So, dear women - mercantile or not - when you see such a specimen, engage in 5th gear and try to disappear from his horizon within the next 5 minutes, because it can ignite his father's Lada, catch up with you and bend the sheets of your new Mercedes - just like that, out of anger and complexes and because you can't be there, even in your sleep.