Loving A Schizophrenic

The Story

Hi, I do not know how to start, I am a girl 22 years old, I am studying in Sofia and for a year and a half, I have been in a relationship with a boy I have loved very much. We've known each other a long time ago, when he was studying, training, he was in good physical shape. Things didn't work out for us then, we just got to a stage where we wrote to each other all day and went out 1-2 times a week. I didn't know what had happened to him in those two years, but he had gained dramatic weight. He had interrupted his education, subsequently told me that he had fallen into a deep depression, had met a girl with which he had done nothing, but somehow collapsed internally. He had stopped eating and was rushed to the hospital and was on systems. That's how I lived with this lie for a long time, considering we'd known each other a lot earlier, and I thought I'd help him and heal himself. And he loved me, I was happy, somehow he started getting out of the mud, I knew he was taking some sleeping pills, which was clear to me after he was depressed. He subsequently told me that the clinic where he was psychiatric. He told me before he told me that if he did, I'd leave him. I didn't, maybe blinded, they say love is a disease. Internally, I knew that because of depression, you couldn't get into a clinic like this, there had to be something more serious, I never analyzed things, I was just guided by our good times and that I was going to help him. Alas, when he stopped the pills, he became more active, started talking more, he regained his old contacts, started training, even started working, but with this things gradually got worse.... he started to get cranky as if he thought he had the whole world, there was something dubious about his behavior. He changed for me, I kept telling myself it was from work, he started talking incoherently and kind of inadequate. I already knew his parents and he knew mine. My parents didn't particularly approve of him, they knew he was a good boy, but they saw something in his behavior. Things got out of hand, it started to make me cry all the time, because of him I started not sleeping, and maybe from studying, it got too much, I got to a psychiatrist, and for 2 months, with pills I recovered and it was like everything was tied up. If I hadn't gotten to this doctor, I would never have known what was happening to this boy. I got better, started sleeping, but I decided we'd have to give him time, encouraged him to work, get a job, finish his education, but he didn't do anything. And so came the day I understood everything. When we saw each other to tell each other that we were separating for the moment, no matter how hard it was for me, he unlocked something. We met for exactly 10 minutes, then he said he was in a hurry somewhere, that this was the end and we split up. Two hours later, after I got home, he called me and talked to me like nothing had happened, asking me where I was because we had an appointment. It was like a night of horrors, I couldn't describe everything, he then took cover, none of his relatives told me what was going on, but I was already aware. When I last went to see my psychiatrist, when I was already asleep, I decided to tell him about all this. I found out what pill he was drinking, and I told the doctor, he told me that this drug was also about schizophrenia. So everything got tied up, why he was gaining weight, why he was in rehab because of depression, they only put there in extreme cases, like a suicide attempt. I thought he had taken a drug or that he was drinking, but nothing was consistent with that condition. Right now I'm trying to get on with my life, I'm at war with myself, I love it, and I'm suffering for it as a person to a person, I'm thinking about how it is, and how long will there be anyone next to him and help him, I think he, but I don't even know if he loved me, maybe while he was taking the pills-yes, but then he's going to have someone to help him. I don't know. my mind does not fit it, I still do not want to believe that it is true, has not exhibited aggression, but I know that life with such a person is heavy, a burden you carry, my doctor's advice was to try to stay away from such a person because it is genetic, I know it is and that many people have this problem for which they are not guilty. I decided to share my story because these people also need love, it's not curable, it's going to be on pills for sure, and I hope it never unlocks such conditions again, but as the doctor told me, schizophrenia is not always associated with aggression. I just want to know he's okay.

Last Updated
June 24, 2020