Hello! I am writing this story because I need to share it with someone. I am a 20-year-old girl and I have had a relationship with a boy since I was 15 and he was 17 and was 18. With us, the story was very complicated. We are from different cities, we met online in Vboh, where there was a group for anime and AMV fans, then it was normal to meet someone from there. Well, after we started, we started writing to each other all the time, sending each other photos and over time we liked each other, and even fell in love. From there our relationship began, we began to see each other, although we rarely succeeded .. But there was something I did not know, he was a Turk or just a boy with a Turkish name .. at first I did not know, I found out quite late, and for this reason he broke up with me many times until one day he admitted it to me. To me, he is ashamed of it. We've split many times in a long time, and I have suffered a lot, really a lot. And so one day he broke up with me .. I was constantly looking for him, but he didn't reflect me, maybe 2 3 he answered me something and that was .. And after almost a whole year he looked for me, said that he still loved me and that he wanted to be with me .. At first I didn't want to, because my parents found out about him and were against it, he had even come to talk to my father because he wanted to be with me, but he told me to choose between him and family. It was very nasty, but I stayed with him .. And so knowing that we will not have the future I want I decided to end between us .. Maybe 3 or 4 months ago .. He came and prayed to be with me, it hurt a lot when I watched him cry in front of me .. And now, he blocked me from everywhere, he went abroad again .. Whenever we saw each other I hid him from ours .. After our next support, he changed a lot, as if he became more jealous than before, because I went out with my colleagues, but purely friendly. (Yes, I'm already a student ...)
Even sometimes, when he got angry, he allowed himself to shout at me, to touch me. Maybe it's my fault because there were things I hid, but for me it was already out of fear of him. He broke my 2 phones, wrote to many of my colleagues and got annoyed with them. He wouldn't let me go out with the company I was in. But what if I'm here and he's there. And even if it's with me, we have to hide and I'm constantly worried. We have not gone to sea for a single summer, and now the 2nd summer he is going abroad. I don't know what to do anymore, this jealousy makes me very nervous, and it constantly annoys me. While we were separated for about a year, I made a mistake, I had sex with another boy and it was very difficult for me to admit it to him, in the end the feeling that there was something and pressed me to admit it to him when we met. Maybe I hurt him a lot from there and he changed. But he was in Germany at the time when we were separated, and when we got together after the summer, I saw a chat with a girl he met there, and even she had sent him pictures of her underwear, and he had responded with love. answer "you want to annoy me, huh?", and told me that nothing happened between them. I don't know what to do anymore, it hurts me when I know I'm not with him, but it's hard with him without him ... I can't forget him, I can't stop loving him. I don't think I'll find another boy, everyone just wants sex anymore, and I don't think I'll go through it without finding someone who wants something real, not just sex ... I needed to write it,