Strange that some time ago I wanted to be alone, even more strange that until then I did not know what real loneliness is. Then I looked with ridicule at the lonely people, as losers unable to cope with the problems in their own lives. By then I was tired of all the social contacts, I wanted to be alone for a while to rethink who I am, what I live for, why I am like that and not like anyone else. I often dreamed of being different, I was an empty being, staring at the future, always telling myself that one day everything would change, drawing plans in my mind, building the future in my head, but then I still did not understand that to become the future in my head My reality is that I have to lay a solid foundation that requires a lot of effort and sacrifice. And so living in my future, I had not yet been alone, I had long been accustomed to wearing the mask of a faceless and mass existence, I had long been accustomed to my role in society - I was a good friend you could always count on, I would never say a bad word against you if you didn't challenge me, even though I had an amazing outlook on life, I still couldn't say what I saw. And so I was dumb to the world around me, the truths about it are still in me, but they remain unsaid. One day I said - enough! And it was as if in my head seeds sown for a long time had sprouted, seeds bearing the sanctity of new thinking, new ideas. Now loneliness was my only goal, I had to immerse myself, I had to abstract briefly from others, I wanted to read books, I wanted to write, before training was important to me, a beautiful body was a must, now I looked at all these vain things. shame. This, What I mean is that in order to get to the truth, you have to pay a high price, the task may humiliate you or at least destroy your social role, but this is a path of greatness, impossible for everyone. I failed and I don't seem to have the strength to continue, but before I give up, I will make one last attempt, take a look at the daily bastard and maybe come back as a winner. Loneliness is bad, it kills slowly, it is an opiate, how many times have I not gone back to the time I was with someone else, even now when I think about it then I was not happy, I was happy to live, now - loneliness is like a barrier on the road that I can't cross, nothing can accommodate it, except good friends who are a utopian dream for me. Dear people, do not stumble where I fell, move forward no matter how difficult, for me it is too late, I bear the mistakes of my decisions,
1 huaweimobileph answered
With a population of over 6 billion, a man is alone in his head ... you sound just like me some time ago. and I didn't have many friends, I dreamed of such people as we see on the screen - funny, devoted, pleasant, etc .; I never found any. I may have made a mistake on the street :) and I haven't had a girlfriend for years ... I forgot the pleasure of a woman next to me, to be taken by the devil. but this is not a reason to 'blunt' like that. as if the world is over ...!? you have taken the step with self-awareness, now just follow this path and life will follow you; if you stand next to the mirror and spit, only you lose: / M.