Hello, K. I'il tell you about a situation like this, it might give you perspective on things. A few months ago, I met a woman who was quite sexy, we had been out a few times, but we were quite different, and we decided not to try to make a relationship. It's been a few months, I've forgotten about her, and all of a sudden she wrote to me. I thought of her sexiness, and suddenly I decided to propose to her if she wanted to come to me for a few days. Besides her appearance, I thought about the fact that it might be interesting to be together for a while - to go around, to spend time together... She said she'd think about it, the next day we texted each other again and she told me she was up for it. The day after that, however, my head cooled down and I thought it was very hasty and we shouldn't have seen it like this without even seeing us after so many months (and we had found quite incompatibilities in being together before). So I suggested that we go out for lunch or dinner first, meet, talk, and then make a judgment. Well, we went out and talked, and we realized about both of us that we were really different and that there was no point in doing that.
That was my judgment, everyone is different, but I hope you find the right answers for yourself. Greetings!
No, because in your case, he may be mentally unstable. Let's be honest, such statements are said by either the hitmen or the crazy men. Normal people will want to get to know you, see each other, have a relationship. Besides, you don't know across the street who's really standing there and what intentions he has.
And what's the problem with seeing and getting to know each other and then deciding? Just meetings, conversations and a relationship to start with. You're skipping a few stages.
No, first you need to get to know the person-whether he's a gambler, but he's not going to tell if he's on drugs, and he's not saying whether he's abusing alcohol, and he's not hiding his phone, lying about who's looking for him, and there are many more examples, but these are the main ones in my opinion, since they're the most commonly discussed here on the site! He just has to find his cards and no, never sex on a first date! To pass time, to get to know each other, to understand his habits, is there a pet, what works-things of a general nature! Because most ladies, blinded by love and in a hurry to start a relationship without getting to know their partner, which costs them a lot of time and nerves! Just don't rush, maybe some other time, but not right away! You're not going to make a mistake!
My advice is to think straight. One is in a photo and a chat, another is in everyday life. Besides, you're not alone anymore, you have children and responsibilities. Personally , [I don't have a family] I wouldn't get too fast. I don't swear, but still, I want to get to know the man before I live with him. Then I don't want any unpleasant surprises and anger. Besides, I have a pretty strong character, so he's got to get to know me and calmly decide if we're going to fit in. Of course life is constantly serving surprises, just look tomorrow I do the exact opposite, but I still think it's not wise. Now you're still hurt and disappointed with your marriage. It's normal to need attention, understanding and love. But don't rush it. At least, you need live meetings. Besides, children need stability, such changes don't affect them at all.
Of course I wouldn't live with someone I've never even seen. It's ridiculous, you only have an idea of it, built on virtual communication. He can have a lot of irritating habits, he may not be the one he pretends to be at all, he can do a lot of things.
And what prevents you from meeting for a while like normal people, having a live relationship and deciding whether you're one for a dorg? What makes him jump directly into cohabitation?
Thanks for the answers!
And for me personally, such a decision is quite premature.
It's okay for me to meet you, get to know each other.
But since he lives quite far (about 400 km), he insists that I go to visit him for at least a week with some of the luggage.
Then he'il help me with the rest of my stuff.
For him, dating is just a waste of time. His philosophy is if you want to get to know someone, it's probably like living
The fact that he's 40, over 10. broken relationships, the longest of which was only 1. year (in his opinion), it makes me wonder if he is so smart, funny, intelligent in person.
Or maybe he's pretty skilful.
Author.
It's a pretty naïve question and a way of thinking. It often happens that you don't know someone you've been living with for years, and suddenly it turns out that he's hidden from you essential specifics about his character, your problems, your desires. I don't know. For me, it's the equivalent of playing on the lottery when life is at stake. Not just yours, but your children's.
Building an image of someone you don't know and thinking it's going to be like this in the real world is a disease.
I wouldn't even keep talking to someone who offered me something like that. Naïve, infantile and insane.
It's Bratan.
No normal person is going to offer you cohabitation right away, because as you don't know him, he doesn't know you either. It's also a risk for him, and no normal person will have a good hand to do it.
Don't be naïve, don't be silly, you don't wonder where it came from.
The whole thing smells like serious problems, author. My intuition screams to stop correspondence with this guy immediately. You see something illogical yourself, don't you? And if something's too good to be true, it's not. Yes, there are every happy case in the world, but they are the exception, not the rule. The rule is what statistics are based on (including criminal! )
Years ago, for such correspondence with consequences, I almost went to jail. We intercepted some forums with a single copy posing as a man from my professional industry. After two or three weeks of virtual conversations, my new acquaintance offered me a job. We met and my first impression was good - completely normal to a kind of person. What put me on the lookout, however, was the ambition of his ideas bordering on the absurdity, and his willingness to entrust such a serious project to someone he had never worked with before. The salary he offered me was spacey by our standards, the offer included 10% of the profit. It sounded absolutely amazing (as it turned out), but I, like you, was like, "Miracles happen."
These people are excellent manipulators. I don't know how my man processed me, but the very next day I filed for work, where I had a 14-year internship, notice of departure. So began the great odyssey, from which me, and all the colleagues I personally attracted to the "project", still chill us. Our "employer" eventually turned out to be a former backer with a bunch of pending fraud cases, and we the naïve ourselves as a kind of advertising face of his new grand criminal scheme. I don't want to go into details, but from the moment we get to our minds the truth about what we've been involved in, threats of physical altercation have begun, if we step back and screw up what the crook conceived. By this point, our personal data without our knowledge had already been entered into the registrations of shell companies and we had put our signatures under a bunch of illegal machinations, believing that we were signing employment contracts. We got rid of it relatively lightly because we had the courage to alert the police, who had long waited for their old client to do it again and appear as witnesses in court. But the stress and our ruined professional reputation remained. It took years until history began to be forgotten. And everyone was asking us, "You're old dogs, you're old dogs! How did you fall for such a cheap trick? Well, how do you... "The world is big and there are all kinds of cases," as you say, author.
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