I am not writing this for advice, but to pour out my soul. Last year, my father promised me to go to another bigger city than mine, and I studied hard all year to make it happen. I finished the year with 6 and I couldn't wait to enroll in the school I dreamed of. Yes but no. My father firmly stated that he did not want to leave him alone and refused to enroll me anywhere if he was not in my city. I was very upset. I went out with a friend and then I tried a cigarette for the first time. In short, I started smoking every day. I spoke, begged my father, I was ready to fall at his feet, but he refused. One day while he was at work I packed my bags and went to my grandmother. Don't call me for 3 days. Then he called me and told me not to do anything stupid and to come back, otherwise he would call the police to pick me up. I bowed again. I'm home. My grandmother also came with me. After 2 days I decided to move in with her and study there. So without my father's knowledge, my grandmother took my documents from school and enrolled me in a school in the other city. When my father understood and became furious, he said that my grandmother no longer had a son, and that he would beat me a little more. Then he left, and little by little I began to recover. Since my grandmother's apartment is small, I decided to move somewhere for rent. I don't want to talk to my father and he agreed. He gave me a card in which he would deposit money for my rent and personal needs. I shared a one-bedroom apartment with a student. And she had a difficult fate. One day my father came to see me and I, as the biggest nepukist, lit a cigarette in front of him. Then he shouted at me and I shouted at him. He was my father and I shouldn't have behaved like that, but he was my father only on documents. When I told him, he slapped me hard and left. Then I had my first nervous breakdown. I cried for hours, but I couldn't calm down. Then I fell into depression, from which I still can not get out. I went to a psychologist, but he told me not to take it so deep and to be grateful because my father was right. Since then I have closed myself even more and my best friends are cigarettes ...