Hello! I am a 27 year old boy. from Sofia. I need to share with someone what's wrong with me, but I don't want to be offended. I hope to come across decent people here. I will drive straight - I am a virgin, more precisely, I have never had sex. As a teenager, I had several failed relationships, most recently when I was 18 years old. it was quite strong love, obviously platonic, but it ended with a broken heart for me. I haven't had a girlfriend since, I shut myself in. I started working, then I enrolled in university and did both in parallel for years. I was constantly busy, sleep deprived and depressed. I have the feeling that I have developed some kind of bipolar disorder - one part of me desperately wants female company and caress ... but the other part of me denies and continues to be closed in on herself. I've been alone for so long that I've become self-sufficient, I forgot what it's like to kiss a girl and have a girlfriend. I am both suffering and so good. I am constantly rewinding the hypothetical scenarios of a relationship - dumps, meetings, everything is rosy, I fall in love and not long after - I am left with a broken heart. In fact, my longest relationship was 8 months with this girl when we were 18, I fell terribly in love and it ended terribly for me. Before I felt addicted to sugar in the form of sweets, over time I realized that this is a kind of mental compensation associated with dopamine. It passed, I gave up, I lost weight. My peers - classmates, college students, are getting married, starting families, and I'm in this situation. And he sits, lonely, dreaming of a beautiful girl, self-sufficient, denying and slipping in one place. What's worse is that I know what condition I've been in for these years and I'm not doing anything ... year after year, beautiful girls pass by me, and I sit idly by. And the more time passes, the more I do nothing ... I have the feeling that I have forgotten how to love ... and damn it - yes! I'm dumb, I know. I'm stuck, it weighs so much on me, I just want to be relieved somehow ... I'm used to never complaining, I grit my teeth when it's hardest, it always goes on alone, at a slow pace, but I keep going. And here, what weighs on my soul I share on the net with anonymous strangers ... Was I so wrong !! when it's hardest it always goes on alone, at a slow pace, but I keep going. And here, what weighs on my soul, I share on the net with anonymous strangers ... Was I so wrong? !! when it's hardest it always goes on alone, at a slow pace, but I keep going. And here, what weighs on my soul I share on the net with anonymous strangers ... Was I so wrong? !!
You are not a boy, but a man: 28 years old ... Don't put women on a pedestal - they are nothing special. Look down on them, but be kind to them as far as you have contacts. Try to be the best you can be in what you do - there is no other way out of the hole.
Women can now get everything they want with one application on the phone, soon the more attractive men in Bulgaria will have problems finding a wife, it's just in the nature of women, they would prefer to share a man from the most higher than to spend their lives with an average man
Off enough with that calm. Why do you calm a person down? It's not for peace of mind .. Set goals, make money, take care of your appearance - train, communicate. Make contacts. Grow spiritually. Things will work out if you put in the necessary effort and perseverance. Do not give up. You need reinforcement. Do your best to change your life and you will succeed. Read Jordan Peterson's books.
If you don't do something for yourself, no one can help you and change you, at least with anonymous advice on the net. Seek a psychologist, you're even late. Your problem is not only with women, but the unwillingness and inability to communicate with people in general. You have no company, you have no male friends. I found out about women, they broke your heart, what about men? And you? There is hardly a person who has not had an unsuccessful relationship, who has not experienced separation, who has always been happy, but unlike you, they have overcome the pain and moved forward, not closed in their shell, to feel sorry for themselves and to unhook slowly from loneliness. Life is as you make it yourself, it has the meaning you give it to it, not someone else. You just deserted from him, you have no active attitude to reality, you do not want to fight, sorry, the truth is not pleasant ,,
Hello, calm down. I was like you, I was alone for years. All the boys rejected me. I had a strong passion for my classmate, but it ended with a broken heart and I, like you, closed myself off. I worked and studied. I was alone for almost 5 years. And then my friend showed up. And you have no idea what I experienced with him and at times I wonder if I was better off alone. Because at the moment I constantly feel like a trash can for him and I don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to ... my thought is not to complain under your comment, but to know that you are not alone and that things will get better! Be strong and hey break it a little. Talk to women, etc. If you want advice and the like, write me a comment here and I will leave you an email
Apparently you do not want to leave the comfort zone, and at the same time you still want a connection. This fear of emotional pain that you harbor is up to you to realize. First, once you know your vulnerability, you need to be very careful in choosing a partner. All kinds of muffins, showy girls, simple and with great self-confidence are forbidden. Second, it won't be like when you were 18 - neither the hormones are the same, nor the women you will eventually deal with. Focus on women around your age, with more modest behavior. If you focus on 20-year-olds, it is very likely that the same thing will happen to you again, because in the range of 16 years -23 years, very few women would enter into a very serious relationship. However, they also study, work and do not have much time for their partner, they also relax and enjoy their free time, realizing that that marriage is a serious commitment. So, the situation is not quite similar. But where to look for these women if you do not have enough social contacts? - through mobile applications and interest groups. It is very important when you start communicating to pay attention to the woman's behavior - if she is one of those who send hearts to the second chat, just remove her. It is not normal for a woman to press and give you hearts and kisses if you have not even seen each other live or seen each other once in 1 hour. Just be more robbed and more careful. Don't mention being a virgin at all, just say you haven't had sex in a long time. So if you get to bed, it won't be a surprise if things don't work out right away. It is very important to prepare in advance with more techniques on how to have sex with a woman. And no, porn will not give you the necessary theoretical knowledge. Read how to arouse a woman, how to make her relax and restraint techniques. Be sure to masturbate before a date so you don't look nervous at the date. Just get scared, there's no other way out of this comfort zone.
You are definitely not alone .. I think we are very much even ... And I am alone and every day I feel better and worse than this just like you .. And yet I think we should enjoy life because it is also very nice and very short .. Live and make it go Success
Number 7, I advise you to write a separate topic with your story. You sound interesting !!!
Omg, mechanics techniques ... not to send hearts and I don't know what shallow advice. Whether a woman will send you hearts without seeing you does not say at all how serious and responsible she can be in a relationship. Techniques in sex ... right? Years ago I was the first of an 18-year-old boy ... And he became the first one I finished with, because without experience, he followed my body and my desires and became the perfect partner. It's all about chemistry and attraction. Everything that is adjusted and intentional is stupidity. You author just found a way to get rid of the memory of this separation and the fear of rejection. He seeks the power of falling in love and does not think about separation. Do you know how much everyone else abandoned them, how much they cheated on them, what things they said in their faces just to get rid of them. Abstract yourself. Strive to love and think of nothing else. And slowly you will find, you will keep some girl. Don't focus on bad memories.
In order not to suffer again, try to keep your feelings under control. When you meet an attractive girl, never limit yourself to his good sides, but try to really understand what she is. Imagine all sorts of negative things about her and be sure that you will not be mistaken in your assumptions. . Love is 99% an illusion, so it results in so many broken hearts and unjustified expectations. He gave you good advice №8, listen to them. Never trust the advice of women - they will only confuse you, mislead you, and you will always regret it.
Hey, boy of 27 from Sofia ... reading your story I was sincerely happy and for some reason I even laughed ... (with the best feelings) In fact, the truth is that I found myself in your words to the point of pain, starting with the feeling for bipolar disorder, to intimate loneliness and loneliness in a dream. I am so familiar with self-sufficiency, constant denial and the dilemma: "I suffer, but I'm fine." The whole slipping and endless vicious circle. I don't have any advice to give you, and I don't think I should ... but as an anonymous stranger, thank you for sharing ... At least that's how you know it's not just you ... As for the situation, leave it to time. ..if someone has to be in your life it will be without much effort ... Good luck :)
He lives alone. Before, I was like you, desperate for a man's caress. I was still misunderstood and unloved. Well, after a while I found a man and I was happy. We lived together, I was in heaven again. Love is a good thing, but temporary. Then come the problems, love is gone, sex is becoming rarer. Boredom comes, financial problems, hygiene habits, household chores ... And so the differences between you come to light. Now, if I could go back and be like I used to be, I would be happy.
1 saphyra35 answered
Calm down, you're not alone. In general, I do not write comments, but I strongly recognized myself in your story. With the difference that I've never had a boyfriend or kissed a girl before. Don't dwell on it and enjoy life. One day fate will smile on us too.