I've Always Compromised!

Hello cool people! I am a recent ex-teen with perhaps still teenage problems. My life at the moment is quite chaotic and I'm trying to sort it out in some way, but I don't quite understand how this is going to happen. Otherwise, at first glance, everything is fine: I am a student and I study, I have a friend of my age who I love very much and I know that he loves me too. Unfortunately, our ideas about some things in life at this stage differ, but that's another topic. We fight quite often. Last time we even exchanged some frank rudeness, which also worries me. The problem is that this summer I had a great opportunity to work abroad, but he works in our city and we can't go together. At first I decided to compromise, although I need money to pay for my training and urgently!

I said to myself, he is more important to me than money, I will find a job here for a lot less money, but at least to be together. Because of him, I constantly travel (I'm a student, don't I), even now I'm in a session and I travel from exam to exam; I'll be right back - I'm crashing out of the way! He also traveled a lot, but I would just break the records. The last 2, 3 days I could not pay much attention to him because I had exams and I was terribly tired. We went home and went to bed, he didn't seem very pleased, but I was groggy. Exactly one day I was gone and he went with his mother to choose furniture for his new apartment - a single day! And he reassures me that I would have chosen for the other rooms - blah blah, his mother came with us again and made faces, but I experienced it! In the afternoon I asked him to come with me to the job interview and he replied that he was very hot and tired, and I had a car! What impudence! The icing on the cake was when I found hardcore porn on his computer - but so nasty and disgusting that I almost vomited (considering that I still consider myself a relaxed person)! That finished me off. I think I'm a good lover

- I have no restraints and forbidden things when it comes to breaking up with a loved one! But to go home tired and he watches porn with them ... I felt betrayed! I know it's just a movie, but what a hell of a movie! For the second time, we have a similar problem in this half-year. Last time I explained to him that I don't mind, but to watch together, or at least to call me on the phone and tell me - for me it's exciting! Yes, but obviously the man didn't understand me. And you will say now what?

Well, since I couldn't blink all night and retreat to the far end of the bed, I decided to write to you. We fought until morning. He says that he hadn't watched it all because he was sick too (yes)! I forgot to tell you that the porn in question was deleted, I found it on the internet after that! In my relationships, I always try to be loyal and tolerant of the person I am with. I make him go out with friends - even though he doesn't want to. My ex-boyfriend hurt me to death - he cheated on me, but not with porn, but with ugliness stuffed with mangoes, which he seems to be with to this day and with who knows how many more, and he broke my heart into thousands! I just picked it up and felt loved with my new boyfriend, and know what's going on?

I dare say I'm a nice guy and I don't lack attention at all but are all men the same ?! I can't feel it the same way anymore - it's kind of foreign to me, I feel betrayed by porn - hey, I need caresses too! And what to do with this job offer, I would apply to live with him, but I no longer know if I want and if it's worth it ?! Help me, please from the bottom of my heart! Thanks!