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It's A Moronic Puzzle That's Important To Me.

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The Story
Hello,

I have no idea where to start, so I'll be chaotic. I will first ask people who disapprove of homosexual relationships to finish reading this far. Then I will thank the people who will read all the vomit and advise me something. I really appreciate it.

It's about a relationship with another woman, as it goes without saying. Let me not go into details, but we are young ... a few years after coming of age. We met 3 years ago. It was weird like I had something to do with her without even knowing her. This is happening in a gay restaurant - that is, it is crystal clear. Then there was another one in my life, with whom I had another argument on the phone that evening. With L. (Let's call the girl whose topic is dedicated to her) I didn't say a story, but I really felt something hellishly strange. The next day she wrote to me. He had a girlfriend for a month, that's why I didn't do anything ... she decided to end the relationship with her somehow. We started going out ... we were both terribly blown away. As she is a little more masculine, she was expected to lead, but tc. Anyway, I fell in love a lot .. she looked like she did. However, our dirty shirts came out very early. Since I had never loved before ... I generally enjoyed women's attention (so to speak), I brushed my ego and a lot more, in the beginning, there was a rift with another girl, with which L. got scared. For her part, she had a serious problem with amphetamines ... she was addicted. If not every day, then at least every other day, and when he was out, a gram went. I decided to fight this thing because I was very much in love. He lived with me in no time. That's where the circuses started because she had problems with her mother, which cost me all my energy to fix (they were heard several times a day and she was just screaming ... I managed to change her point of view with a lot of effort and they became the best girlfriends .. I'm really proud of that), two of my exes decided to explain themselves to me in love (as I told her everything, of course), drugs, she was just finishing, and I was working and we had financial problems .. abe had to what to fight.
 
He was too jealous of me, even for my job. Along with all the jealousy, drugs, and financial situation - fierce quarrels began, in which I repeatedly asked her to pack her bags, and she began to push her hands and head against the wall, to cut herself and threaten me. In those moments I felt like I was tied up - she wouldn't let me go because of this trap, and the stress that she would commit suicide ... I just slapped her. The same scenarios were repeated regularly ... quarrels, threats, beatings, drugs, then he accused me of being a disgusting person because I had been reaching out for so long. He managed to stop the drugs. Something happened here that puzzled me. I have a very sharp intuition, and she has a previous unexperienced love that confused my health. And I felt something once. I caught her at the door to interrogate her, and as she leaned against the phone in her hand and convinced me I was crazy, the phone rang and the same ex wrote to her. I also took the phone. Everything was deleted diligently, but not the phone calls ... there must have been 10 hours. I even wondered when she managed to hold them. Then it became oily. I went into a crisis because she lied to me and hid me, and I told her about everyone. She also fell into a crisis. I finally packed up and went elsewhere. The strange thing was that she didn't ask me to give me an explanation ... I asked her to pick it up. And I initiated to hear what I want and get together. So ... from 2 and a half years of relationship - a year and a half passed under the sign of action, all sorts of exes passed me, she did not work or always found stupid employers, we became so obsessed that we ended up without friends, wild sex and butterflies in the stomach. Suddenly this whole thing broke in me. He stopped attracting me sexually. The action stopped. I began to choose to change myself over her instead of asking her to meet in the middle. She kept being jealous and suffocating me, I was arguing with her just to let me work. Everything became very quiet. Several times I went to have sex with her out of obligation, but it was felt and she stopped me. So we spent a year without sex. She refused to let us out. Find a job. I just wanted to explode with monotony. Then I cheated on her, just to find out how I felt about her. And I realized that I still love her, so I kept pushing the rags. However, something strange started to happen ... since the new job started I was very tired for the first 2 weeks. He was literally just sleeping and working. The third week - bam .. he sits until night and writes to someone. He started staying after work. Just then I had a serious health problem and I literally fainted, she didn't care. He didn't come to hug me once. I also told her we were breaking up. (A .. 3 months before that I had sat down and had a very serious and cool conversation with her that I can no longer and it is better to part .. she apparently agreed .. but the next day I cried too, soft Mara, I agreed to get together). So he packed his things and disappeared. I also wrote because I felt very bad ... and because of the problem and panic attacks. She began to behave terribly cold. He explained to me how he didn't want to see me, this was the end, he didn't want anything friendly from me. I started harassing her a lot, but a lot ... I'm disgusted with myself. I also wrote 20 times a day and did the same. I couldn't believe it. I convinced her to tell me that she did not love me as an intimate partner. I had a fever, I didn't eat, I fainted ... various friends dragged me up the stairs, to the point of humiliation. And I said these things to her, she didn't even answer me. At one point I got passwords for Gmail from somewhere, and from there I can see all the searches in Google. She was looking for some hotels. I felt sick. What nonsense I saw. I finally found out that she knew I was on her account because she was getting approval for an unknown device ... and she was turning me on. It hurt a lot that I even did the stupid thing of telling her a lot of disgusting things. Then I recovered, apologized, and blocked her. We had a dog together, and I brought it with me asking to see it sometimes, because she lived with theirs and I lived alone, and they would take better care of him. I met another. Good things happened there.
 
I repeatedly wrote to L. to give me the dog for a walk - she accused me super viciously and told me that it would not happen. I broke up with this girl and registered on a blog because of L. I wrote there as well - she only made me cringe, but at the same time she posted things that were obviously for me. I gave up. I didn't look for her for 2 months ... until I wanted to see my dog ​​and I realized that she had blocked me everywhere. I started questioning and found out that she had sold it without my knowledge. I called and was hysterical. We talked normally. Then we wrote only about the dog. At one point it threw me off balance that she didn't care about the dog and I blocked her again. Recently appeared on a blog that knows I use. I decided that it just needed validation and I didn't pay attention to it. However, something happened and I tied a picture. Since L refuses to communicate normally with me, he does so in the most childish way - through posts on the Internet. She has done it before with her best friend. And I decided to take a closer look. And what came out: I've been posting a lot of dramatic things since we broke up. Then he found out about the girl after her. "When you realize that people you can't live without can live without you" have started. This girl has a public profile and she had put on a song like "I know you think about your ex when you lie down next to me" and L gave herself hope. However, 10 days later we uploaded a photo. The next day L. uploaded a song like "you are a wonderful couple and I am superfluous" and the next day she sold me the dog. Then this happened with her blog .. she started again with the simple things like "I miss you very much and I love you" .. until a week ago. To me, these are horrible childish things, we are big women. However, obviously everyone thinks differently. I also told her that I had put the puzzle together and that I wanted to talk to her in person. I gave both a place and an hour. She's blocking me. I wrote elsewhere that I would wait for her there anyway. She didn't even read it. Of course he didn't come. I wrote her to ask her if she has nothing to do with me - to stop with this crazy internet nonsense, because she obviously insinuates nonsense to me and I'm looking for a calf under the ox. I realized that not only did I not read this, but I deleted it unread. What to think? What to do? I don't know what I feel for her ... I haven't seen her in 8 months. I want to meet her, I want a 5 minute empty conversation ... because I will answer many questions only if I see her. And that's exactly what she avoids. I don't know what to think, I need your help. One thing I know from living with her and her best friend ... is that she never apologizes. She apologized to me once in 2 years. At the same time, I don't know if with this internet nonsense he is trying to tell me something in a stupid woman-child way, and at the same time he ignores me. I can't assimilate this way of thinking because it's quite flat to me. Does it seem to me that you are just looking for validation with me? I'm already wondering if she ever loved me at all?

Thank you if you read this whole thing. I will be happy if you help me. Smiling day.
Last Updated
June 25, 2020
Author:
babazooo232

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Published on: June 25, 2020
Published on: June 25, 2020
Published on: June 25, 2020
Published on: June 25, 2020
Published on: June 25, 2020