Hi, I'm a 15 year old girl. For God's sake, I don't even know how to start my fast ..! It's hard for me to make sense of it and then write it. I'm not stupid, but I act like that. For example, at school I act like I fell from the sky - it's not exactly a shame, but since I've been in this city, school, something has changed in me. Probably not because of the new situation, but because I couldn't find friends. My friendships are slow, but often lasting. Now I can't even go out with someone, I'm looking for someone, but somehow I feel like I'm not going out. That's because we don't have a common story ... and also because I'm already used to being alone. I'm not a talkative person, but when I feel that I like some of them, I start philosophizing. In the summer (every summer is like that) I'm not in this city and I can't make friends. If I was here during the summer vacation, I would enroll in a sports club, for example, and find friends, and why not company. I think I'm full of good qualities literally and figuratively, but somehow I'm not appreciated. I feel it! It used to be my strategy to pretend to be stupid so as not to gain the envy of other girls. Now even the boys make fun of me, yes - they make fun of me, I was ridiculed. Fortunately, this is only in school. I am really charming, unlike others I am noticeable and instead of making me happy and invigorating, it bores me. I can't imagine that a normal young man would run completely alone from seven to nine in the evening in the park, just because he doesn't do anything else (except read a book, listen to music and stay at the computer). Since I don't have friends, it wouldn't actually be normal. My old friends (with whom I grew up and see only in the summer) sooner or later begin to forget me. I don't live in my past, but still only the memories with them fill me with happiness as if ... I want to listen to old rock songs again, to have a picnic, to be out in the fresh air all day and to have fun. I am amused until the evening, when it was the turn of our jokes. Now sometimes in my own eyes I am pathetic. I wake up, immediately open the window and spend the whole day hanging around and doing nothing, everything goes into thoughts, memories and sometimes dreams. And I don't want that to be because I'm not the person I became. I read a book that sometimes fills me with hope. I'm not depressed, I'm not desperate. My mood has been like this for many months. And I think I'm small for such periods, what do you think? I'm not asking you, "Why don't I have a boyfriend?" does he like me '', although I wanted to know the answers to these questions. One thing I know for sure - a person like me does not look like he is in such a "situation". Answer, I will be grateful to everyone (if my post is published).
1 dgreen_14 answered
It's like I wrote it! That's right, I'm the same age, only I'm the opposite sex. I keep pretending to be stupid, and I don't know why. And my friends think I'm an idiot. For example, we are 3-4 people in billiards and I am constantly wondering how to expose myself and I try to think that I do it consciously ... And just like you, I think about all sorts of things all day long. And so time passes ...