Hi, I'm a 17 year old girl. I have a friend who is 20. Our relationship is serious for both of us. Before I talk about the problem, I will mention his ex-girlfriend. She was his first love, they went for 2 years without having sex, he loved her very much, but she pushed with another and he dumped her. After 2 years of loneliness, he went with me, looking for something really serious, and found it. So far so good, (he and I will soon be 10 months old), however, I began to feel that he does not love me, but still feels something for his ex. We were at a gathering - I was in the next room with my girlfriend when he was in the other room and told 4 people that he still loves his ex. I believe these 4 people and I exclude that they lie to me that they heard it. Days later, when I asked him to explain his words to me, (I thought he would say, that he does not remember or will deny) he said the following: "I do not know why I said it." He did not deny! That ended the topic of his ex. Then we talked on the phone and he told me that he did not like to tell me ligatures like "I love you", "I can't do without you". And by the way, he only tells me when he's drunk. When I ask him why this is and that I want to hear them while he is sober, he says that the cup gives him courage. … On the one hand, I understand him - his first love hurt him, he really loved her, and now that he is with me, even if he wants to love me, he can't fight the memory of his ex. He can't experience the same feelings for the second time… or if he experiences them, is it so hard for him to tell me that he avoids the topic of love. (According to him, love did not exist, only feelings such as attachment, concern…, etc. n.) I really love him, and he exes her…. for me it's very painful… I try to think about other things, but once I think about it and I don't stop thinking about it… What to do
1 brusheezy answered
In my opinion, no matter how hard it is for you, this man left it. There is no point in being with him as he does not love you. And to tell you "I love you" is not to courage, but to feelings. It's very difficult to say "I love you" to a person when you don't feel it. When he is drunk, things are different. Then the brain does not act soberly and it is very easy for him to tell such a lie. I'm a boy and I understand both of you perfectly. For me, my first relationship, if you can call it that (without sexual intercourse) was 1 month. It may be only 1 month, but I remember it as if it were an eternity. Then for me it was PARADISE. At the moment I have been in a relationship with a girl for 2 years and a gram has no attraction, and if I find a soul mate for a second, I will leave her. It may sound selfish, but one must look at oneself first, then the others. Otherwise you will be a sole. I have come to this conclusion. You have a head on your shoulders. Consult with a real friend of yours and act. In my opinion, your cause is doomed to failure. He thinks of another and clearly does not love you. You are currently in the background :( Good luck to you too, I hope you get better. And another piece of advice that I have given to myself. The next time you find someone and decide that something can happen between you, do not sink as fast as before.Always keep 1 in mind and give the person next to you complete freedom.One person, if it fits with another, then immediately, will be felt.And know that if one Your husband gave you a flower, which means you mean a lot to him! Most women think it's a cheap trick, but they're wrong.