I am a girl of 25 and studying in another country. I'm here alone. Before I left, my friend promised to come for Christmas and New Year, to see me as a guest. He keeps telling me how much he loves me. Be nice. We often hear each other on Skype. The problem is that he has a health problem. And just a few days before he left, it worsened. At least that's what he tells me. He was lying on a bed and could not walk because his legs hurt. And this is exactly 2 days before the date for the trip he had set. He tells me he bought things for the trip, even a ticket. But we talk more often and see each other less on camera. I haven't seen him on camera for a few days and what's going on. On the one hand, I think it's bad luck on the other, and I'm starting to think that there is some other reason to postpone the trip, and he doesn't want to tell me. He told me that when he got better he would come ... But, I don't know when this will happen. I have lost confidence in men because of an old bad experience .. Do you think it is possible to pretend to be sick. Would one lie about such a serious thing as health I bet a lot on this man and I'm afraid of being lied to? He knows very well that I can't check these things, but on the other hand we have known each other for a long time and he lives in my hometown. Everyone knows him, as I do. He even tells my mother the same thing, that it's bad. However, she has not seen him since she said he was ill. Would it be weird if I sent her to see him? Given that she had never been to them before and had not been invited? Would one lie about such a serious thing as health? I bet a lot on this man and I'm afraid of being lied to? He knows very well that I can't check these things, but on the other hand we have known each other for a long time and he lives in my hometown. Everyone knows him, as I do. He even tells my mother the same thing, that it's bad. However, she has not seen him since she said he was ill. Would it be weird if I sent her to see him? Given that she had never been to them before and had not been invited? Would one lie about such a serious thing as health? I bet a lot on this man and I'm afraid of being lied to? He knows very well that I can't check these things, but on the other hand we have known each other for a long time and he lives in my hometown. Everyone knows him, as I do. He even tells my mother the same thing, that it's bad. However, she has not seen him since she said he was ill. Would it be weird if I sent her to see him? Given that she had never been to them before and had not been invited?
Answers 6
If you don't trust him, what kind of relationship are you building? A relationship is built on trust. If you doubt that he can lie to you, and if you assume that he can lie so that he doesn't see you, you better not bother ...
if you have no other concerns than the canceled trip, I don't think you have anything to worry about. you write yourself that he generally has a health problem and it is really possible that he cannot travel. such coincidences do not have to be intentional and do not rush to accuse the person without serious evidence. Is it possible that there is another problem, such as financial, and that there is no money for travel? or can't take leave? For example, you can send your mother as follows: send her a small gift for him for Christmas and send it to him. otherwise it looks like a check and will make a bad impression if she has never been to them before.
Tell me to show you the ticket he allegedly bought and you will know if it is true!
And why did you bet so much on a boyfriend, first and second you can ask him if he needs help and send your mother to bring him something to eat. If it turns out that he really lied your bets and high expectations fail. But you know him better after he has won your trust to bet so much on your relationship and you will know if he is willing to lie about his health so that he does not come to you. If it turns out to be the latter, it will be your own fault to know.
Try it out and say that someone you know (your boyfriend or girlfriend) wants to travel and he will give the ticket. If he agrees, you will say that they have given up, but you will only want a photo of the ticket to change the reservation;) Be cunning, if you study abroad, then you are not stupid. And I would doubt it. I hope you are wrong and if the boy is sick he will be fine :)
The legs of a lie are short, sooner or later you will find out if it was true or not. I advise you not to attack or accuse him. But you are right to have one thing in mind, it is useful in any case. Unfortunately, more or less everyone has to take care of themselves. But they said it well in the comments above, ask if it's good and what you can do for it. Love is not taking, but giving in the first place. Love with all your heart, and if they betray you, it is for others.