Is This Love?-couple8990

I would also like your opinion. I have a relationship with a much younger man than me. At first I was scrupulous about such a relationship, but then I decided to try and now I regret not because he is younger, but because of his attitude towards me. Initially, everything was very nice / as in most cases / - it gave me the caresses I needed so much. A month passed and he started talking to me about parting. And I got hysterical - I cried uncontrollably and he told me that he felt sorry for me and that's why he stays with me. But this story began to be repeated many times (for a year now). Here we say to ourselves that we don't want each other anymore and then we look for each other again. He is married and I did not expect anything more from him than to respect me and be nice when we are together. But he is obviously jealous of me and constantly raises scandals when I don't pick up my phone right away. When he gets drunk sometimes, he starts calling me in the middle of the night and insulting me, he even came to us once and scared me to death that he might if he decided to mutilate me. After this case, I told him that I no longer wanted to see him, although I will still miss him terribly, but he started texting me about how special I was to him and how much he cared about me. I didn't answer him, but one day he started calling me and I forgave him again. But apparently when he sees that he has won me over again, he starts harassing him with his hints that I see other men or behaves coldly. He had promised me today that we would go out together, but he had been reserved since yesterday, and today he told me that we could not go out because of his wife, with whom he was to return home from work. I told him that this time I didn't want him to look for me anymore and we were done. He also confirmed that he will not call me again, but this is for some time and I am sure that after a while he will start looking for me again. What do you think this looks like to you Why does he keep coming back to me and then making me cry? I spoke to a babysitter who told me that young men were more sincere in their feelings than older ones. I told him that he was pursuing some interests, but in the interest of the truth, I could not give him anything other than that when he came to me I had cooked for him and made him feel at home with me. But I don't want him as much as I used to, and I can't tell him once and for all. I'm obviously a masochist, and although most of the time it makes me nervous and makes me cry sometimes, I can't imagine that we won't see each other again. I know it's not about sex, which is no longer the same as before, but when a few days pass and he doesn't call I forget about everything he hurt me with and I miss him a lot. I know that this way I will not be able to find a man more suitable for me, but this is the situation with me for now.