Is There A Logical Explanation For What Is Happening ???

Hello. Please publish my story. I need an advice. A 23-year-old woman writes to you, who has the feeling that with each passing day she is sinking deeper and deeper into some huge black hole from which there is no way out. Well, hello - I'm from the club of the desperate. I do not have much experience with relationships - in my life I have had many frivolous acquaintances and 2 serious relationships, if they can be defined as such (lasting a year and 5 months and 2 years), which in the end were accompanied by serious scandals, insults on both sides, ugly scenes, etc. The last separation was in 2016 and since then my desire to bond with anyone has started to disappear. In 2017, I met a man who is 12 years older than me - I will call him X. In the beginning, things started as a normal relationship between colleagues. We worked together. I was an intern at a company where he has worked for many years. After my internship I started a permanent job in the company. In our work with X, we built a strong friendship and both he and I realized that we have mutual trust, support and hold each other. The time we spent together made us happy. Both. It was visible for miles and many people noticed it. I was the first to sympathize with X, and when I tried to show that, he backed away.

He wasn't rude, he didn't say outright that he didn't want us to have anything between us, but maybe he was insecure and therefore didn't take action. He is single, he has no children, but I decided not to force things and not to press him. After the card had already been placed on the table showing that there was some attraction in this relationship, and one side was the first to admit it, a fragile jealousy of insignificant things began to appear, first on the part of X, and then on mine. We became even closer and showed how much we cared about our relationship, but whenever the professional line began to be crossed, we both withdrew. He said he only wanted us to be colleagues, and I apologized for allowing me to show affection. At one point we both stopped paying attention to who was showing what to the other when and what. I didn't feel guilty that I might have done something wrong, and he no longer hid his sympathy for me. He constantly complimented me, took an interest in me, made small kind gestures, in some situations even allowed himself to cross the physical border with seemingly involuntary touches on the shoulder, waist, hair. I pretended not to notice, and he still maintained that he only wanted us to be colleagues. I got tired of this relationship because I felt more and more attached to him every time, and I had to respect his desire for nothing more than a collegial relationship between us. I didn't stop holding on to him, nor did I intend to hurt him, but after another nice gesture (he gave me my favorite candies for no reason and told me that he was starting to get attached to me and didn't know what he would do if I I'm gone) we quarreled seriously.

After he gave me the candies, I was left with the impression that we would no longer hide as small children and I decided to give him something as well. I bought him a book that he kept saying he wanted. However, he was not happy, because this gesture of mine showed my sympathy for him, which he again rejected. Then I asked him what we were doing and what these gifts were for, kind words, gestures, etc. X said he didn't do them on purpose. He asked for a purely professional relationship again. He said he didn't want to force me to hear, see, talk, but he cared about me. I didn't want to listen to him and tried to leave. He stopped me several times and after another attempt I saw that I had no desire to talk to him. He got angry. He started shouting and asking me to delete his number, to remove him from all social networks, it was even better to ban incoming calls from him and not just delete him, but block him, because that would be the best way. -good for me. He said that I was an extremely good and kind person, and he was the monster that constantly hurt me and I had to find a way to erase him from my life because he didn't want to ruin our relationship. I was adamant that for me the way to solve such a problem is not to throw the other person out of your life like a dog, but to have a normal conversation with which to find a solution that is good for both of you. Then he began to apologize for the things he told me then and for allowing himself to call me without good reason. I thought that he was in a difficult stage in this period of his life and I tried to get him to tell me if there was a problem and if I could help with something. He said that there was nothing like that and that he thought it would be best for both of us to keep the good tone, but to be nothing more than colleagues.

That way, neither of us will have to leave our jobs, because we both like it a lot, there will be no bad feelings between us and everyone will be happy. I stopped expecting anything between us. I still enjoyed the time with X, but I was purely friendly. However, he said kind things and tried to make me more attached to him. I pulled because I knew it wasn't right. Our summer vacations overlap as his started a few days before mine. We both knew when the other was going on vacation, with whom and where, and we agreed not to see each other until our vacations were over, but we still didn't stop communicating. In my eyes, things seemed to be friendly and we would not expect or demand anything from each other. For 3 weeks we heard each other every day or at most every other day (he called me more than I called him, he even got angry when I couldn't talk or didn't hear my phone for some reason), as the last time I called him ,, he behaves extremely rudely. We hadn't fought before, nor was there anything strange about his behavior in previous conversations. He answered me sharply, tried to raise my voice several times. I asked if something had happened or if he was angry, but the answer was no. Finally he told me (rather he shouted at me in a loud tone) that he was going on holiday (although he should have left already, judging by what we had talked about before) and he didn't want me to bother him with my conversations and hung up. . That was 2 days ago. Since then, no news, no bone. He doesn't call me, he doesn't write to me and he doesn't pick me up when I call him, and he doesn't answer me when I write to him. I'm not particularly insistent on looking for him and I try not to overdo it. It is clear that there is a problem in this relationship. But I can't figure out what it is. Is it insecurity, is it fear, Is there a difference in age, problems with relatives, is it a zodiac sign, are there problems with nerves, are there any traumas from the past?

What is? Someone tell me, please. X, I know that there is a minimal chance that you will come across this story, recognize yourself in it and find out exactly who wrote it, but I beg you, if this miracle happens, give me answers to the questions, because I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of running away from responsibility and being hurt. I already apologized to you that I might have hurt you too. Thanks to everyone who will take the time to read my story and give me some adequate advice. Please people who have gone through or are going through something like that leave their comments as comments. And those who intend to spit on me or make arrogant statements for some reason, please do not write at all. Are there any nerve problems, are there any traumas from the past? What is? Someone tell me, please. X, I know that there is a minimal chance that you will come across this story, recognize yourself in it and find out exactly who wrote it, but I beg you, if this miracle happens, give me answers to the questions, because I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of running away from responsibility and being hurt. I already apologized to you that I might have hurt you too. Thanks to everyone who will take the time to read my story and give me some adequate advice. Please people who have gone through or are going through something like that leave their comments as comments. And those who intend to spit on me or make arrogant statements for some reason, please do not write at all. Are there any nerve problems, are there any traumas from the past? What is? Someone tell me, please. X, I know there is a minimal chance that you will come across this story, recognize yourself in it and find out exactly who wrote it, but I beg you, if this miracle happens, give me answers to the questions, because I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of running away from responsibility and being hurt. I already apologized to you that I might have hurt you too. Thanks to everyone who will take the time to read my story and give me some adequate advice.

Please people who have gone through or are going through something like that leave their comments as comments. And those who intend to spit on me or make arrogant statements for some reason, please do not write at all. that there is a minimal chance that you will come across this story, recognize yourself in it and find out exactly who wrote it, but I beg you, if this miracle happens, give me answers to the questions, because I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of running away from responsibility and being hurt. I already apologized to you that I might have hurt you too. Thanks to everyone who will take the time to read my story and give me some adequate advice. Please people who have gone through or are going through something like that, leave your comments as comments. And those who intend to spit on me or make arrogant statements for some reason, please do not write at all. that there is a minimal chance that you will come across this story, recognize yourself in it and find out exactly who wrote it, but I beg you, if this miracle happens, give me answers to the questions, because I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of running away from responsibility and being hurt. I already apologized to you that I might have hurt you too. Thanks to everyone who will take the time to read my story and give me some adequate advice. Please people who have gone through or are going through something like that leave their comments as comments. And those who intend to spit on me or make arrogant statements for some reason, please do not write at all. I'm tired of running away from responsibility and being hurt. I already apologized to you that I might have hurt you too.

Thanks to everyone who will take the time to read my story and give me some adequate advice. Please people who have gone through or are going through something like that leave their comments as comments. And those who intend to spit on me or make arrogant statements for some reason, please do not write at all. I'm tired of running away from responsibility and being hurt. I already apologized to you that I might have hurt you too. Thanks to everyone who will take the time to read my story and give me some adequate advice. Please people who have gone through or are going through something like that leave their comments as comments. And those who intend to spit on me or make arrogant statements for some reason, please do not write at all.