Is There A Big Difference In Age

   Hello! Less than a month ago, I went through a story like yours, so I understand you perfectly. The only difference is that I'm 16 and he's 27. We didn't have a relationship because I wanted to. I loved him because he made me feel special, better, happier ... in other words, he made me feel whole. But there was one obstacle - the years! My father knew about him, I had told him, and he told me the following: "He is older than you, he has more experience and he sees things differently than you. It's good that you realize that between you you can't anything happened. "I was confused. I knew it was wrong to have a relationship with someone much older than me. But I also knew that my heart loved him. She really loves it! Then I had to make the most difficult decision, at least for me ... I had to choose between heart and mind. I listened to the mind. You have no idea how hard it was for me to leave the person I loved with all my heart. It was really hard! But imagine for a moment the situation if I had stayed with him and we had a relationship. Well, then it would be difficult not only for me, but for him too! I decided I had no right to do it to him. So I withdrew until there was more confusion. He may not understand me, and he may never understand why I didn't let us have a relationship because he knew I loved him and that he loved me. But I'm sure of one thing - I did him a great favor, I saved him thousands of troubles that would follow if we had a relationship. So darling I completely understand you! I understand how difficult it is, how confused you are, and how you feel like you're spinning in a vicious circle over and over again. And you know, you're not going to get out of there until you decide exactly what you need to do. Think carefully! You have no right to make mistakes! If you stay with him, it means that your relationship can not remain a secret. This means that at some point this MAN will ask for other things from you. He is much bigger than you and he certainly has experience that you do not have! My question to you is to decide if you are ready to take this step and take all the risks that await you or do you prefer to find a BOY who is your age (or 2-3 years older than you)? You decide! I told you my story briefly. My choice was to move on in search of the right BOY for me because I am still a GIRL. I hope I helped you and made the right decision! SUCCESS! :) you will not get out of there until you decide exactly what you need to do. Think carefully! You have no right to make mistakes! If you stay with him, it means that your relationship can not remain a secret. This means that at some point this MAN will ask for other things from you. He is much bigger than you and he certainly has experience that you do not have! My question to you is to decide if you are ready to take this step and take all the risks that await you or do you prefer to find a BOY who is your age (or 2-3 years older than you)? You decide! I told you my story briefly. My choice was to move on in search of the right BOY for me because I am still a GIRL. I hope I helped you and made the right decision! SUCCESS! :) you will not get out of there until you decide exactly what you need to do. Think carefully! You have no right to make mistakes! If you stay with him, it means that your relationship can not remain a secret. This means that at some point this MAN will ask for other things from you. He is much bigger than you and he certainly has experience that you do not have! My question to you is to decide if you are ready to take this step and take all the risks that await you or do you prefer to find a BOY who is your age (or 2-3 years older than you)? You decide! I told you my story briefly. My choice was to move on in search of the right BOY for me because I am still a GIRL. I hope I helped you and made the right decision! SUCCESS! :) that your relationship cannot be kept secret. This means that at some point this MAN will ask for other things from you. He is much bigger than you and he certainly has experience that you do not have! My question to you is to decide if you are ready to take this step and take all the risks that await you or do you prefer to find a BOY who is your age (or 2-3 years older than you)? You decide! I told you my story briefly. My choice was to move on in search of the right BOY for me because I am still a GIRL. I hope I helped you and made the right decision! SUCCESS! :) that your relationship cannot be kept secret. This means that at some point this MAN will ask for other things from you. He is much bigger than you and he certainly has experience that you do not have! My question to you is to decide if you are ready to take this step and take all the risks that await you or do you prefer to find a BOY who is your age (or 2-3 years older than you)? You decide! I told you my story briefly. My choice was to move on in search of the right BOY for me because I am still a GIRL. I hope I helped you and made the right decision! SUCCESS! :) My question to you is to decide if you are ready to take this step and take all the risks that await you or do you prefer to find a BOY who is your age (or 2-3 years older than you)? You decide! I told you my story briefly. My choice was to move on in search of the right BOY for me because I am still a GIRL. I hope I helped you and made the right decision! SUCCESS! :) My question to you is to decide if you are ready to take this step and take all the risks that await you or do you prefer to find a BOY who is your age (or 2-3 years older than you)? You decide! I told you my story briefly. My choice was to move on in search of the right BOY for me because I am still a GIRL. I hope I helped you and made the right decision! SUCCESS! :)

   From the author: I want to stay with him so much and at the same time I can't ignore my parents. When I'm with him, everything is different, I forget that I'm forbidden to approach him. He understands me just by looking at me and already knows what I want and how I feel. I am powerless in front of my own family. And he is ready to stand against them and stay with me in spite of everything. I don't want to disappoint my parents, but I don't want to lose him either

   There are no limits to love. My parents are 11 years apart, they divorced and my mother caught a boyfriend 13 years older than her. And a friend's parents? they are 15 years apart :)) If you love each other there should be no problem, but wait until you become an adult and then you will be able to decide for yourself :)

   Parents judge things from their point of view. They probably want you to continue your studies, and at the age of 28 he already needs a family nest by the age of two and children. You at 17 to be with him have to skip the age to deprive yourself of things teaching disco parties, etc. to start a family. The needs of a young person change every 3-4 years. Parents see that the younger one has to lose a lot of things because the older one cannot stop the time to wait. But if you are ready to lose your youth because of him, whom you have known for a month or two, go ahead and then do not shake your head.

   From the author: I did not say that I have known him for a month or two. We are neighbors with him and we know each other very well. As a result, we became boyfriends. Probably what I feel for him is fleeting but how can I stop it; (

   and I don't understand what to stop him for .... hey, girl, the boy is there - do you want to be with some pickle? No more nonsense, at 17 you can now choose your partner - at 28 it is not big for you. Enough glamor, don't listen to people, decide for yourself

   People, sorry for the question, but are you okay ?! I'm tired of hearing nonsense about what a cosmic problem the difference was. Author, I'm 21, he's 33. And we've been OK for almost a year now! Not to sound boastful, but at the moment I can't think of a more harmonious couple than us. (From those I know personally, of course). We are "in the same mind" with him. I don't need any immature teenagers who don't yet know if they fell from Mars or from the moon. As for the parents: darling, I understand that you love them, but you live for yourself, not for them. When they became engaged, no one told them who to be with and who not. They owe you freedom. I am also very interested, if you do not give freedom to your child, how will you teach him responsibility? Number 1, you fucked up a lot. So many people roar that they are deprived of love, and you have it and throw it away because of rural prejudice. And do you think that if the author was dating a 17-year-old, he would not want sex? The question is rhetorical. You, if you are a girl, then I am a WOMAN, and the WOMAN needs a MAN, not a BOY. The author may also be perceived as a woman. At least, from next year he will have the right to determine the fate of our people with his vote in elections ... And, I did not understand why "it is not right"? Number 5, what does learning have to do with the whole job? As I am older, am I not studying? Egati logic! And, what family nest, what five levs? Nowadays, responsible men marry much later. As many as 35 somewhere. If he loves her, why not wait for her? I also don't know why you think that the meaning of life for young people is limited to parties and discos? I hate them. I have been to a disco exactly 3 times, out of obligation. Last time I even fell asleep ... Out of boredom. And for a bigger "party" than being alone with your loved one, at least I can't think of. In general, it is not my custom to talk so much about myself. But I wanted to show by personal example that not all people fit into the rural clichés of 50 years ago ... Please excuse me for the harsh tone at times, but I'm really annoyed by such rigid thoughts! To conclude: People, if you throw away your happiness, then no one is to blame if you are unhappy! Boronia but I'm really annoyed by such rigid thoughts! To conclude: People, if you throw away your happiness, then no one is to blame if you are unhappy! Boronia but I'm really annoyed by such rigid thoughts! To conclude: People, if you throw away your happiness, then no one is to blame if you are unhappy! Boronia

   Number 7, my respects, but this is not a boy, but a MAN. He is 28 years old and has to think about family. And the author is still a girl, not a WOMAN. On her yet? he is about to finish his secondary education, to study for higher education, to fall in love with other boys, to go to parties and more, and more ... There is no place to hurry! Life is ahead of her and the last thing she should think about is family and children. And let's be honest - this MAN (I emphasize that he is not a boy who has yet to do the things that await the author) can not wait. Let's say he loves her too much and will wait a while (a year, two, three at most). And then what? Don't you understand that learned phrases like "There are no limits to love" are not 100% true. If the age difference is not so big - okay. But when it comes to 10 or more years difference there is a problem. And not so much the years as the way of thinking. Everyone has priorities and at some point, over the years, these priorities change. And if the author wants to become a mother - okay, to have children at the age of 17-18, but then not to regret, because if the child appears in the world there is no going back! And I say again, dear girl, do not be deceived that this man will be waiting for you forever. He is already 100% starting to think about things like wife, children, own family ... Are you ready for all this? because if the child appears in the world, there is no going back! And again, dear girl, don't be fooled that this man will be waiting for you forever. He is already 100% starting to think about things like wife, children, own family ... Are you ready for all this? because if the child appears in the world, there is no going back! And again, dear girl, don't be fooled that this man will be waiting for you forever. He is already 100% starting to think about things like wife, children, own family ... Are you ready for all this?

   From number 1 to number 8: Boronia, I don't think I fucked up. I'm not talking about the 28-year-old wanting to have sex with her. Even if he was 17, he would still want to have sex, that was not the point. I meant that he might already be thinking about starting a family, and I don't think the 17-year-old is ready to be a mother. However, if I'm wrong and the author thinks she's ready for it - fine. I am far from thinking that I understand everything and that I am sinless. But I am 101% convinced of one thing - not only did I NOT MAKE A MISTAKE, but I also think that I acted RESPONSIBLY TO HIM! What's the point of being with him when we both have completely different priorities? If for him in the first place is to create a home, to have children and a wife with whom to create a close-knit family, then my priorities at the moment are my education, my friends and to develop as a person. And yes, I think I'm still a girl because I have a lot to learn and only then to say that I feel like a woman, not a girl. And I'm sorry if it sounds immodest, but I don't know how many girls my age would consider things from all points of view, not just their own. I gave advice and my point of view. Whether the author will accept my advice is her job. But I don't think I've "fucked" or that the author will "fuck" by letting this man go on with her life and hers. Just look to meet the right boy for her. but I don't know how many girls my age would consider things from all points of view, not just their own. I gave advice and my point of view. Whether the author will accept my advice is her job. But I don't think I've "fucked" or that the author will "fuck" by letting this man go on with her life and hers. Just look to meet the right boy for her. but I don't know how many girls my age would consider things from all points of view, not just their own. I gave advice and my point of view. Whether the author will accept my advice is her job. But I don't think I've "fucked" or that the author will "fuck" by letting this man go on with her life and hers. Just look to meet the right boy for her.

   Well, number 9, to me and my man as our difference is 12 years, what is wrong with us? There must have been a problem. And we, why don't we then? Wouldn't he be waiting for her? Ah, why is mine waiting for me? Why didn't I go to get married and give birth, why doesn't he bother me? Why does he also support me for my second higher education, which I plan to start in the fall? Because we understand each other perfectly, that's why! Neither would he get along with a grumbling set for children, nor would I get along with a peer who doesn't come out of discos. Why on earth do you frame all people? I think women come to their senses earlier than men. Therefore, my friend and I think the SAME. Neither I roared for parties and boys, nor was he in a hurry to hope for a ring. We are young people, we have time. Not to mention that a man is rarely actually ready for children before he turns 35 (personal observations). Stop spamming the girl with villagers. And you, author, talk about it with your friend, not with parents and counselors. Ask him what he expects from your relationship, if he wants weddings and children's leagues, etc. Only he knows that. If he doesn't want to, which is very likely, what's the problem? Do not listen to the envious old men, love is the best thing, live it. Boronia

   Boronia, as soon as I read the first line of your comment I realized that it was you. Aren't you tired of bragging about your relationship so many times and setting an example, even though you're not like that at all? Such differences are too great. And before, I think I wrote about how "equal" you are in your relationship, etc. I see that you are on the same page with your boyfriend, but you do not think like a 30-year-old, and he- like a 20- annual. And just because you haven't been able to find the right one for your age doesn't mean that you see, they were all the same. Just because you're happy for now doesn't mean that such a difference doesn't matter. Moreover, the girl is 17. Sorry, but she is a student. I'm a little older than you and the 17-year-old boys look like kids to me, and I'm smaller than the author's friend, who even seems big to me. Just don't start with double standards for men and women. I can't imagine how a man of that age could be interested in a 17-year-old at all, unless his mind is as much as hers. Author, your friend has very different goals at this stage, whether he still wants to start a family or not. He looks at life differently. As immature as he is, he has seen more than you and has more experience, most likely on his own. The difference between you and him is huge. Your parents are right, and I think they care a lot more about you than your weird friend. They know much better what will be good for you. It's not worth doing this and don't listen to some here who are obviously so "mature" that they can't realize the fact that you're a student and he's a grown man.

   From number 9 to number 11: Well, I'm glad you came across the right person for you and I wish you to understand each other so perfectly for many years to come. But I don't agree with what you wrote: "And you, author, talk about it with your friend, not with parents and counselors." You're right that he should talk to his friend and clarify his relationship. But you're wrong about not having to talk to your parents. Parents are the people we can be 100% sure that they think only of the good. And I'm sure her parents want the best for their daughter. Why not talk to your parents besides your boyfriend? It is not bad for the girl to ask strangers, because they would advise her things as neutral and unaffected by the situation. Of course, there will be different opinions, and what is right and what the author does not decide for herself. And one more thing "Don't listen to the envious old men ..." This line from you made me laugh a lot. My respects, but if number 1 (a girl who is 16) is an old woman ...: D I don't think that people are envious, on the contrary - they try to help with the author's opinion.

   To number 12: I remember you very well. I'm not setting an example, I just want to show that people with a "difference" can be happy together, contrary to popular belief. Your comments on the nature of our relationship and our mental level with my friend will generously pass. Only, I will advise you not to rush with the qualifications for people you do not know, just because they are not like you. Not all of us develop according to the calendar of the patriarchal grandmother. It is time for society to make sense of this. Besides, dear, only tied to sets of people, who gives you the right to impose your stereotypes on everyone else? I go with a bigger one, but I don't oblige anyone to be like me. And you oblige us to have been looking for partners of a "proper" age. You will have to take: ) The difference between you and me is that you impose dogmas, and I only recommend something that I have tried and liked. Who does not like to sit with peers, not bad. But why does the one who, oh my horror, likes it, artificially limit himself in his choice, just to please people like you? Number 13, and you're right about a lot of things, but only he knows if the person wants a family, what his "life goals" are, and if the author can fit into them. Neither we here nor the parents can say that? Ah, doing another person's bill is ... stupid. number 1, anyone who abandons love is to be regretted. I feel sorry for you. And, your ex is a great man, he can judge for himself what is good for him, you do not need to decide on his behalf what he wanted. But ... once you have decided so, it is your will. I don't feel happy, however ... Correct me if I'm wrong. B.

   I'm №5 I'm not saying that the 28-year-old partner will prevent her from reading / studying / having fun with colleagues. By the time he graduates, if he waits for her, he will already be 34-35, will he continue to wait for her to be realized professionally or will he have 1-2 children, and after the children a woman will be more difficult to realize / think about them /. Baronia, we see how happy you are with your relationship, how you give it as an example every time and as if you are looking for approval. How in one morning you write comments and think about the relationships of others / as well as yours / instead of "being alone with your loved one". Ask yourself if you are happy and not by saying that we are unhappy to convince yourself that you are happier. After you comment on any comment other than yours, it means that you are brainwashing that you may not be right. You think when you say we're wrong, we don't see you raising your self-esteem. Not two but 15 seniors to make money / we know how they give them /, since you can't accept that sometimes you are not right, you will not become smarter. Tell your opinion and do not comment on the comments of others, they also have the right to an opinion. And what the author will do with her life, which comment she will listen to, is her personal business. She doesn't have to live like you me or anyone else, she's the master of your life, what are you doing?

   Dear number 5, let me tell you - I'm specializing abroad, so I'm not "alone with my beloved." When I am in Bulgaria we are inseparable. I study at night, and from time to time I diversify by writing here. Don't tell me what my relationship is, because you don't know, carissime. I'm not looking for anyone's approval, at least for various strangers. I just want to show another point of view on the problem. Because I have experience, that's why I speak. I do not prevent anyone from having an opinion. However, if I do not agree with something, I enter into a discussion that I have not heard of. I answer because there are provocations against me in your posts, and I am not a person who runs away from questions. Please spare me comments on whether I am smart, stupid, with low or high self-esteem. They exude only malice and helplessness to argue. "

   Boronia, I'm 12. I don't impose any dogmas. The truth is, not everything a person wants is good just because he wants it. I do not think that such a difference is welcome not because of dogmas, but because of everything I have written before. Now, in turn, I will move on to the word "patriarchal," but I wonder exactly how a person with double standards will use it. In the case of the author, things are different than with you, because she is also a student. Author, you will really lose your youth because of him. Believe me, in a few years you may think differently. Your priorities are different.

   Wait, women! What are you croaking like geese? It is not a matter of life and death - it is not said that the girl will live to be her father. Once they love each other, take them. If at some point they feel unhappy with their relationship - break up and you're done! Where is the problem? And here you are philosophizing about the future, children, realizations and I don't know what. It's a little more casual! And you, the little one, will you always listen to mom and dad? Look at the fun that youth flies, let it go ... You will never be 17 again. When to go crazy, at 50? Bakhti people ...

   A big discussion took place here .. :) In my opinion, all commenters are right, that is, there is no generally accepted truth here - everyone is right for themselves. My observations are that such a relationship has more pros than cons. I repeat - not from experience, but from observations. But a lot depends on what people are like, so such extreme opinions as the ones above are inappropriate.

   Thanks, number 20! It depends on the people, it is not by prescription. And the author obviously loves him and is happy with the relationship. She asks how to be with the boyfriend and the parents not to be angry. Author, you are on the move, enjoy the love that does not come every day. Your parents, if they love you, will forgive you.

   From number 1 to number 14: Boronia, you have nothing to worry about. At least for me. You said it yourself - that's how I thought it was best. At the moment I am not sad, on the contrary I am enjoying life. And who said that you must end up being sad as a love? For example, I was left with good memories of this person and what we experienced. When something or someone leaves me or I leave him, I only remember the good emotions I had while we were together and I do not regret anything. That is my choice. As for the fact that I was not happy - on the contrary, I am happy and in love with nothing, I am in love with life and I enjoy every new day :)

   Lots of comments, lots of things. I haven't read them. But to the author: according to me / I have children aged 17 and 15 / it is not a question of the difference, but of the fact that you are only 17. That is, if you were 20 - 25 / for example / this would not make an impression. Your parents just think that you are still very young and even small, and he is a mature man and they are probably afraid of a more lasting commitment or that he accepts you only for sex, because you are small for him, etc. Otherwise, nothing there is no difference. It is normal to like such a man for a number of reasons. He is more experienced, more interesting and knowledgeable than your peers, who (especially the boys) are children of this age. So act carefully, make sure you meet them and when they see that he is normal, that he is serious about you, I think they will calm down.

   Nothing prevents you from understanding and even loving each other. But really such a relationship has more pros than cons. You haven't even finished school, and he's old enough to get married. Your parents are right, they are trying to protect you, although in time you will find out for yourself what they meant. You will either come out of this relationship very hurt, or with a baby in your arms and a wedding ring at the age of 18. Think about whether it is worth it. After all, there are so many boys your age, why him? Think carefully about your future and really assess the situation. If you think there is no future, you better not procrastinate, but stop everything now, while it is early. Meg *

   Meg enough to dramatize you too! Not every relationship leads to marriage. Why not have fun with a dude? Eeeeeeeeee, you're very interesting - like some aunts in front of the block. You're just scaring the girl. It wasn't rings, babies, injuries ... And there is no such thing as 'marriage age'. Seki gets married whenever she wants, and there are those who don't get married at all. And, if you ask the Roma, she and the author are 'for marriage'. And she doesn't ask about it. Tell her how to deal with theirs, do not give her a mind for her boyfriend. Once they left, they decided. Good luck, little one! Now are your best years, live them as you like, because then - study, work ... is not the same. Don't bother with them so much. You're still big. When they see that the work is serious, they will pass. Okay bye! Make a hunt, not war!

   Oooo .. darling don't worry .. never look at the years and the fact that your difference is 11 years is small .. listen to me it's good that he is older and not a CHILD .. and not only can you make the right decisions with him, but he will really love you .. Those who are over 20 do not always want only SEX ,, they are taught to LOVE :) I tell you go out with him and do not care, you will gain a lot :))

   Yes, it's big! Some people say that there is no age for love, but I think that there are limits that must be met! No matter how much you are in love with him, or he is in love with you, he hardly loves you, or whatever is between you, I don't think he is doing it for you! Beware girl, I know we live in the twenty-first century, but beware. There are some inclinations big chicks who like chicks like you, what chicks, just kids! Look kfo, I don't think there will be anything to talk about in time. I don't think it's normal, moral. I don't think it's right! Break it until it's too late! 15 years old boy - Tseko

   Ceko, you seem to be very angry with the Batkovs that they take all the cool babes and don't leave them for you? Are you angry that the author and others like her have preferred the big ones to you and those like you? Don't be angry, and it will be your turn ... when you grow up :) And don't use the word morality for good or bad. A dissatisfied person is known primarily by the fact that his first job is to talk about morality. In general, where do you get this Latin-Turkish-serial rhetoric from, I didn't understand?

   I'm 30 and I don't think the difference is that big. See if he is 50-60 and is with a girl of 17, something will not go well

   Hello author, I think that only you and your man can decide the future of your relationship, you better not give in to advice from other people, because they can not live your life, even if they are your parents. In time, you may regret giving up on someone you have feelings for, and it will be too late. I find it very strange to comment that it was time for your friend to have children and that would be a problem for you. A little family history - when my mother was born, my grandfather was 38 and my grandmother was 31; when my sister was born, my father was 39. Both my mother and my sister are healthy and successful and successful people, and their "late" (according to grandma's) birth hardly prevented them from doing anything in life. Therefore, I cannot accept giving birth to children and grandchildren when someone approaches 25 or 30. Once upon a time, in a village, maybe it was important for the hard-pressed man to have children earlier in order to have helpers in the field earlier, today, I hope, most of us do not live this way ... But the most important thing is that only your man can know what he wants and what his plans are. Why don't you just talk? Why bother with clichés? Who said it would definitely ruin your education with an unwanted baby? Tires are not expensive, it seems to me ... As many people as there are opinions - this was said by smart people in ancient Rome, a little older than our grandparents ... My girlfriend and I also have a difference similar to yours in years and I also heard comments that such a relationship can not be, but we persistently showed them the exact opposite. Do not despair, do not show them hesitation, soon you will probably be a student and they will be less able to confuse you. Be healthy, D.

   Author, what happened?

   I did not read all the comments, but forgive me, Bulgarians have a terribly rigid mindset. Let me also speak in my capacity as an experienced person (34 years old). Is it very 11 years old? It depends on the situation. Some girls mature faster. They are not satisfied with the "pickle" of 17-18 next to them and choose another option. In my opinion, 11 years could be a completely normal difference that does not bother anyone. I have many examples around me. I know a couple with a 10-year difference - she was 16 when they left, she is now 22, now they live together and are engaged. My grandparents were 15 years apart. It's just that everything depends ... The author mentions little about their relationship. In my opinion, she has to decide for herself what she wants - whether to have fleeting adventures with underage boys, or a more serious relationship, and whether she is ready for such a relationship. However, I do not agree that a 28-year-old man necessarily wants children. He can easily wait 5-6 years, and even more, until the girl's time comes. On the other hand, we do not know what is in the head of this 28-year-old. I think she should wait and walk with him for a while, find out what the situation is and whether they fit. I don't agree that parents always know what's best for their child, they just think they know. The girl only has to judge according to the situation. However, I think the boy is serious - she herself said that they have known each other for years and that he is a neighbor. That is, he knows her parents and this shows that he is ready to take responsibility for them for her. A man with frivolous intentions would not look for a girl next door whose parents he knows. My personal advice is, if the author thinks that it is love and sees a future in this relationship, to experience. If things get serious, I think her parents will understand. Personally, I had matured quite early for a serious relationship, but due to the fact that I was looking for her among peers, I fell from pickle to pickle and it took place at a much later stage of my life. Good luck!

   Author: Thank you all for the advice you gave me. Despite everything and we all got along today, we were quarreling over everything that happened in the end. Only now do I realize that without him I feel alone. Probably LOVE is born in the hearts of both. Although I was very hesitant, I do not know how it will be in the future, I do not want to rush, time will tell. THANK YOU once again to those who took the time to help me.

   Well, the difference is big (even).