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Is My Father Wrong Or Me?

By bjtrapstar July 07, 2020 6 answers Last updated July 07, 2020

I am a boy of 15 years. My mother went to work in England almost 1 year ago, and my brother (who is much older than me) left 2 weeks ago. My father always cursed, shouted, slammed, etc. The last year I started to get bored and I just started trying not to pay attention to him, but it was impossible .. My only option was to leave the house for a while until he stopped, but it took at least an hour in most cases. It's not normal for him to curse the cat when you're lying down, because she was playing. I tell him to stop because I'm at school the next day and he "apologizes" and after at most 30 minutes the same thing will happen again.

 

I woke up nervous and shouted for him to shut up. He immediately got up from the sofa and burst into my room without realizing that it was 2:00, that I was sleepy and that the lamp should not click, and so on. and start banging and shouting things like, "You can't shout in your own house," or "Don't shout at you," or "Kelesh will raise my voice." Many times I have been on the edge and just my stress from school is enough, but the stress at home from it comes to me more .. Many times I wanted to end my life, but I just do not have the courage and I care about my mother… She knows about his situation and claims that it has been so since they got married, but there is nothing she can do, because there needs to be someone to "take care" of me while I am still growing, and the money is not enough at all otherwise.

 

My brother claims that he used to be even worse and quarreled with him many times. My mother suggested that if I felt well I go with her to live in England after 1 year so that she could get back on her feet and I would probably agree (if she lasted until that period). I went to a psychotherapist a few times and it didn't help me at all .. I just started to feel even more awkward .. I don't want to tell my mother what's going on while she's gone because I don't want to disturb her, even though she told me to I definitely complain if something happens… My mother worries about me because she claims that I have changed and that I have become more hated and pessimistic, and I did not even suspect .. every day I am filled with aggression and hatred .. even in as I write this .. My brother keeps saying that he gave up in battle a long time ago and didn't care about his children (which I'm starting to think too) .. I don't want help because there's no way anyone can help me, just I wanted to share because there is no one.

Answers 6

1
juicy_bee answered · July 07, 2020
Not that your father is normal, but even suicide is too much. Try talking to your father, but when you think the time is right. Probably he is also something tense. I had a neighbor, he couldn't say a word without swearing 3-4 times. Share it with your mother, but not to strain her too much, but to be supportive in a difficult moment. 1 year, finish your education and leave.
2
bbcamp3 answered · July 07, 2020
Your father is not well, how will he curse his cat, it is not a small child or a rag? !! It's good that you still scolded your father, but it's not good to raise his voice. When I was your age, I ate a fight because of my father's swearing and remarks, and then I found him guilty of being dishonest with his family.
3
reina_esmeralda_ answered · July 07, 2020
Is that why you're going to end your life screaming and things like that? Leave it, and mine is like that and it's very annoying to me. You study, you act on your things and you try to be as little in touch with him as possible. You sign up for a sport, at least 1 hour a day, and you're ready. He will commit suicide... Head up and act, after 3-4 years, with a good coincidence, you will be able to live alone, find a girl, etc. You are not tied to your father. And 3-4 years pass hey like that, as long as you have something useful to fill them with. You didn't ask for advice, but I gave it to you. Success!
4
flower_doll answered · July 07, 2020
Commentators, do not underestimate the screams at home and do not underestimate them as a reason for suicide or other unfortunate act. In fact, it is hyper-stressful and depending on what type of person you are and how you perceive things, it can really break you mentally. I can't stand someone calling me since I was a child. By this I do not mean that I explode and quarrel with him. On the contrary - I panic, roar, palpitations and my world collapses. My mother understood this in time and while she was in Bulgaria she did not allow anyone to raise my voice under any circumstances. Including, she often stopped my father from even shouting at my brother, because even though he doesn't scold me, I still panic. : D The situation is better now, but I still don't accept anyone shouting at me. The advice to talk to your father DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM !!! True, this would be a great way to fix the problem, but it doesn't work. You will transfer his anger from the cat to yourself. Keep your distance from your father. Avoid talking without pissing him off. Pretend you're not impressed by his outbursts of rage. Don't hang up on the topic at all. Also try not to become an occasion for them. Whatever you notice irritates him, make sure it is eliminated. For example, mine was nervous that the cat was meowing us to either come in or out. I forced myself to keep my window open in the winter and summer so that the kitten could come out and come in when he whimpered. He was annoyed, the dog went to the yard when he needed to and he had to clean up - I started walking the dog and cleaning the yard myself. I was annoyed that I drained the whole boiler while taking a bath - I learned to take a bath with lukewarm water for 5 minutes. I first tried to tell him that this aggression did not affect me well, we had a scandal for hours, in which I had the feeling that all my nerves and tears were gone; the next day I made a failed suicide attempt and then took the above actions. At the age of 18 I moved out of the house. At the age of 20, I stopped talking to him. We first communicated when my son was born 6 years later. If there is hope to leave in a year, grit your teeth, do your best to erupt less often and count the days until you leave.
5
eleonores answered · July 07, 2020
Get rid of this cat, this is harassment of the animal and obviously your father is annoyed. Go live with your brother next year with your mother.
6
piccione974 answered · July 07, 2020
Love your father. Find a common interest with him and make him your friend. However, the father is not answered, at least until you take the bread in your hands.
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