I am a boy of 15 years. My mother went to work in England almost 1 year ago, and my brother (who is much older than me) left 2 weeks ago. My father always cursed, shouted, slammed, etc. The last year I started to get bored and I just started trying not to pay attention to him, but it was impossible .. My only option was to leave the house for a while until he stopped, but it took at least an hour in most cases. It's not normal for him to curse the cat when you're lying down, because she was playing. I tell him to stop because I'm at school the next day and he "apologizes" and after at most 30 minutes the same thing will happen again.
I woke up nervous and shouted for him to shut up. He immediately got up from the sofa and burst into my room without realizing that it was 2:00, that I was sleepy and that the lamp should not click, and so on. and start banging and shouting things like, "You can't shout in your own house," or "Don't shout at you," or "Kelesh will raise my voice." Many times I have been on the edge and just my stress from school is enough, but the stress at home from it comes to me more .. Many times I wanted to end my life, but I just do not have the courage and I care about my mother… She knows about his situation and claims that it has been so since they got married, but there is nothing she can do, because there needs to be someone to "take care" of me while I am still growing, and the money is not enough at all otherwise.
My brother claims that he used to be even worse and quarreled with him many times. My mother suggested that if I felt well I go with her to live in England after 1 year so that she could get back on her feet and I would probably agree (if she lasted until that period). I went to a psychotherapist a few times and it didn't help me at all .. I just started to feel even more awkward .. I don't want to tell my mother what's going on while she's gone because I don't want to disturb her, even though she told me to I definitely complain if something happens… My mother worries about me because she claims that I have changed and that I have become more hated and pessimistic, and I did not even suspect .. every day I am filled with aggression and hatred .. even in as I write this .. My brother keeps saying that he gave up in battle a long time ago and didn't care about his children (which I'm starting to think too) .. I don't want help because there's no way anyone can help me, just I wanted to share because there is no one.
1 juicy_bee answered