Society is conservative. It is accepted that a mother always loves her daughter and always thinks well of her. All clichés, but are they always true? What if our mother systematically makes us feel bad? He justifies that he does it for our good, there are always excuses. Maybe when we are young children, it is useful to be criticized to get used to it. I welcome constructive criticism. However, I am an adult woman and my mother does not stop insulting me and reproaching me for anything. Our conversations focus on what I have to do, what I haven't done, what is right in life and what I am guilty of. This guilt literally crushes me. I have neither failed a drug addict, nor have I done anything wrong many times. At school I was a diligent bison, congested, a virgin until 19, then I got bored. The main thing what stings her is that I have an opinion. That annoys her a hell of a lot. He behaves as if I have no right to my thoughts, actions and feelings, although he constantly repeats the opposite. I have been living independently for years and I support myself. That doesn't stop her from telling me how dependent I am on her. I used to complain to her a lot, she insulted me that I was just complaining and I couldn't handle myself. She has been bragging a lot about her in recent months and has started reproaching me for flying in the clouds. Whatever I do is usually not enough and I am not satisfied, because I have strict criteria and expectations in advance of what, how and when it should be. He avoids reproaching me directly, but rather achieves it with suggestions and manipulations. I was at an event recently, I bragged to her that I had made contacts and met a lot of nice people. He started insulting me that I was only thinking about entertainment.
Then I bragged after day two that I had a successful workshop and started criticizing again. He reacts apathetically and reproachfully if I am happy and happy for something. I asked if I said tomorrow that I was getting married or pregnant, would you react like that again, she said "Yes. Do you want me to jump for joy?" Yes, but she is quite emotional. She's just not happy about me in this case, and she's still. She also punishes me with such indifference, because all my life I've been careful not to introduce her to any boyfriend, and that's exactly what she wants - to keep her informed. He uses every opportunity to set me against men and them against me. Needless to say, my last boyfriend I met turned against me two days later and dumped me. He said I "envied" him because he got along better with us. Behave as if we are not a mother and daughter, my friends who compete. He constantly emphasizes himself and belittles everything meaningful that I say and do. She told me I couldn't get a boyfriend, that I envied her good relationship with my father. It keeps popping into my head that I have complexes, which is complete nonsense. Not only am I not, but I am not as unhappy as he suggests.
She tells me directly what I think and feel. He says "No, you're unhappy, it shows, I know better." Or "Something's wrong with you and you're looking for a reason to get annoyed." However, this is not the case. She turns things around when and how it's convenient for her, and I'm always the black sheep. With these insinuations, he achieves nothing but to blow me away and make me hate myself. I'm not 5 years old to raise me. She just crushes me that way. He likes to command and be the center of attention. All my life I've been explaining to her that she keeps me from pouring salt on me all the time, but her argument is that I deserve it, because I am to blame for everything in this world and that she will not change because she is right. You always think about rights for everything and up to that point. If something does not suit her, the reason and guilt is in you. She is perfect. Her only mistake in life was that she treated me too well and I was very "spoiled". She recently thought I should give her money when she retires. The repertoire is constantly changing, the criteria and claims are growing. She accuses me of misinterpreting her words and thinking a lot. But I have already stopped to think. It's just that the only thing I feel with my whole being is that something is wrong.
That it makes me feel bad, that it makes me feel guilty, and that it doesn't do me any good, as he claims. Is it the same in other families? it is all my fault in this world and that it will not change because it is right. You always think about rights for everything and up to that point. If something does not suit her, the reason and guilt is in you. She is perfect. Her only mistake in life was that she treated me too well and I was very "spoiled". She recently thought I should give her money when she retires. The repertoire is constantly changing, the criteria and claims are growing. She accuses me of misinterpreting her words and thinking a lot. But I have already stopped to think. It's just that the only thing I feel with my whole being is that something is wrong. That it makes me feel bad, that it makes me feel guilty, and that it doesn't do me any good, as he claims. Is it the same in other families? it is all my fault in this world and that it will not change because it is right. You always think about rights for everything and up to that point. If something does not suit her, the reason and guilt is in you. She is perfect. Her only mistake in life was that she treated me too well and I was very "spoiled". She recently thought I should give her money when she retires. The repertoire is constantly changing, the criteria and claims are growing. She accuses me of misinterpreting her words and thinking a lot. But I have already stopped to think. It's just that the only thing I feel with my whole being is that something is wrong. That it makes me feel bad, that it makes me feel guilty, and that it doesn't do me any good, as he claims. Is it the same in other families? If something does not suit her, the reason and guilt is in you. She is perfect. Her only mistake in life was that she treated me too well and I was very "spoiled". She recently thought I should give her money when she retires.
The repertoire is constantly changing, the criteria and claims are growing. She accuses me of misinterpreting her words and thinking a lot. But I have already stopped to think. It's just that the only thing I feel with my whole being is that something is wrong. That it makes me feel bad, that it makes me feel guilty, and that it doesn't do me any good, as he claims. Is it the same in other families? If something does not suit her, the reason and guilt is in you. She is perfect. Her only mistake in life was that she treated me too well and I was very "spoiled". She recently thought I should give her money when she retires. The repertoire is constantly changing, the criteria and claims are growing. She accuses me of misinterpreting her words and thinking a lot. But I have already stopped to think. It's just that the only thing I feel with my whole being is that something is wrong. That it makes me feel bad, that it makes me feel guilty, and that it doesn't do me any good, as he claims. Is it the same in other families? The repertoire is constantly changing, the criteria and claims are growing. She accuses me of misinterpreting her words and thinking a lot. But I have already stopped to think. It's just that the only thing I feel with my whole being is that something is wrong. That it makes me feel bad, that it makes me feel guilty, and that it doesn't do me any good, as he claims. Is it the same in other families? The repertoire is constantly changing, the criteria and claims are growing. She accuses me of misinterpreting her words and thinking a lot. But I have already stopped to think. It's just that the only thing I feel with my whole being is that something is wrong. That it makes me feel bad, that it makes me feel guilty, and that it doesn't do me any good, as he claims. Is it the same in other families?
1 marine2162 answered
I haven't read everything, so parents always think well. 19 is a normal age for sex, why be 14. Sometimes you have to make your decisions, the other party may not think so, but you also know about yourself.