I am writing this topic with the clear knowledge that I will probably take hatred, but I blame myself to some extent. I always suspected that money made me happy, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. The last 2-3 years, however, I got a little richer and felt it with full force. I don't know if it's because more money is something new to me and I'm not tired yet, but now I feel calm and relatively safe. Of course, I do not underestimate the harsh word of fate. You know, we've all read various Buddhist wisdoms about how our happiness should not depend on external factors and even less on money, but as unpleasant as it is for me to admit, without money I don't feel happy and out of place. And not for anything else, but I just do not like to calculate and plan how much I have to spend, what to deprive myself of, to have food, how much I have to save, that after 50 years. to have housing and not worry about having money for medicine if I get sick and I get sick often. Just some security to feel. And if I don't travel at least 1-2 times abroad, I don't feel very well. I have no obsession with houses, clothes and the like. I dress in normal clothes, I have a normal home, not the cheapest, but not something luxurious. My only obsessions are to travel and have nice cars. And when I say cars, I don't mean to be the typical BMW dude, and that's my hobby. Something like collecting stamps. I am interested in technical things and I am interested in how the car is manufactured, what features are provided, how it is promoted and I want to feel as a consumer what solutions they have invented and what innovations they have introduced. I am a big fan and I am a fan of calm driving. But I will not hide, that with a nice car I feel more confident and more comfortable. It's as if my happiness hormones are rising dramatically as I climb. It's like a drug to me. I emphasize that I do it entirely for my pleasure and I don't want anyone to notice me at all. Otherwise, my parents in the 90's (when I was a child) were rich for a short time, but because of my father's stupidity, we suddenly became very poor and it was like that until recently. I took this impoverishment very seriously. My confidence dropped dramatically, and until recently I still didn't let go of this lack of self-confidence. In the meantime, I studied, I started a family, happy with that. I had a good job and generally lacked nothing but money. That's why I started thinking about business. But it didn't happen and it didn't happen for 10 years. I was getting more and more depressed, it had become a fixed idea for me. At one point, this began to affect my marriage and I was about to divorce. Thank God my wife is decent and gave me a chance to make amends. After a few years, I started getting a decent salary, but I was still missing something. I'm just a perfectionist and there's only one thing wrong with me and I'm staring at it instead of rejoicing over the other 10 things that are wrong. I couldn't accept the fact that the thing I really wanted to do was still failing. I gave up a few times and then tried again, simply because nothing else made sense to me and made me happy. I just wanted to give up on my dream, but it didn't work out. I even went to psychotherapists, but they didn't help me either. By the way, psychotherapists in Bulgaria are in complete grief. They looked at me with a look of ridicule - a kind of flying in the clouds and where I went. My dreams were very brave. Yes, it was, but even if I wanted to, I couldn't give up. And only now, about 3 years ago, things started suddenly, because I changed the philosophy of my ideas a bit. But even to my surprise, things went very fast, which can only make me happy. And from these 3 years. so far i feel very happy. Obviously, money is a factor in human happiness. I was once taught that we should not think of money as a source of happiness, that happiness is a state of mind, and that we should learn to be happy despite the absence of certain external factors, but how to feel happy if I have to squeeze to make a salary? Maybe my father justified his failure, I don't know. And it's not about the money itself, it's about the freedom they give you to do the things you like. Also the convenience, the security they give you. And yes, last but not least, I like to feel that I have achieved something more in business than the average person. Not the money itself, but the very fact that you have built something in your life. I know it's not right, but I have to admit, it's true. I know we're all equal in front of the one above, but still. I wish I could be happy without money, but alas, I can't.
1 catalina_dior2 answered
There is nothing shameful about feeling happy about having money. The poison is in the quantity, however. Once you don't parade, you don't have a fixed idea and you're not greedy for more and more, there's no reason to worry. Money is one of the ways to feel secure, independent, somewhat free. Whether they are a vice or just a useful tool is up to you. Many times when I wanted to donate or help financially, but I didn't have the opportunity, I felt very bad. At times like this, I wish I had hundreds of billions. Not for Ferrari and Guchita, but for something completely different. Of course, there is no way to know what we will become if we suddenly get rich, but these are my thoughts as a representative of the middle class for Bulgaria.