Is Infidelity Hard To Forgive?

   It depends! Forgiveness and mercy are supreme qualities in Christianity. They are not something ordinary but something extraordinary and the one who understands and applies them shows the nobility of his spirit. It is common when someone is hurt or harmed in some way to seek revenge, there is a thirst for revenge. To know why and to be able to forgive sincerely, you must know Christianity and the character of God. These are special qualities. Forgiving does not mean simply suppressing and burying the pain and negative emotions and pretending that nothing has happened but carrying a millstone around your neck and means sincerely and from the heart to eliminate any debt that this person has to you as if the event it never happened. This is liberation. A person who does not know the character of God and does not understand the reasons to do so, how will he do it? His natural desire is to take revenge and get back for everything.

   I have a very strange view of infidelity and I think many people will attack me. It seems strange to me to want a man only for yourself, to be overly jealous of him, and to be angry that he has stared, that he has flirted, or that he has kissed someone. Of course, like everyone else, I do not like infidelity, I myself have not committed infidelity, but I am one of the few who have no interest in outsiders in a relationship. Still, it's kind of weird to be with someone and stand strong behind the opinion, "You can't see anyone but me." On the contrary, he can and will see others, he'll wash his eyes and you can't stop him if he wants it badly. I understand human nature and I know that I cannot change it by force. I have forgiven infidelity and the feeling is not good, what really hurt me were all the lies. The very fact that my boyfriend had done something to another woman, I think I would have accepted it much easier if he had stood as a man and shared his feelings and desires with me. But I found out very late, the infidelity had happened at the beginning of our relationship, I felt powerless and deceived, I forgave the idea that it was in the beginning and now things are different. No, they weren't. After this case, I did not have a relationship in which I did not say that I wanted honesty on the subject. And really, after I stopped fighting and had the requirements to be the most beautiful in the eyes of my partner, I did not have any problems with infidelity or even flirtation / looks. I'm not perfect and sometimes I'm jealous, but I've long since accepted the truth that I can't hold anyone back, and that's because of infidelity. Otherwise, it feels like you're not good enough, like you don't even deserve the truth, like you're not valued and not valued enough, that at least they give you a choice to decide whether to stay with the infidel or continue with another. It was like that with me, my ex, it turned out that he did not have deep feelings for me at all, that he wasted his time and was happy that there was something comfortable and safe. He admitted this to himself and we parted. A little later, otherwise, when I found out about the infidelity, I was the most important and that was a mistake. Apparently he was just afraid to tell himself he wasn't serious. If nothing else, at least through his mistakes he learned to stand behind himself and not waste other people's time, he is now single and indulges in one-time meetings. The feeling is terrible, it is worse than jealousy, but a lot depends on how you accept relationships and how much you can realize that infidelity is not due to your mistake, but to the nature of the other person. I would take it better now, and since I once forgave, and I think,

   Personally, I have an iron method. I cut off all contact and relationship with the person, I don't even say hello to him if I see him by chance. I act like a stranger, completely ignored, for the rest of my life. It is cruel, but it is also cruelly effective! In this case, however, we are talking about infidelity, so my method is a little harder to apply. Talk face to face with the traitor, offer forgiveness against the condition that it NEVER happens again. If the other has at least one iota of gray matter, he will immediately accept the "deal" and abide by it. If he doesn't accept, you beat the jester and that's it.

   I forgave the infidelity, but then it's not the same as before. It's been 4 years since then. He is a very good and kind person, he tells me every day that he loves me ... But something in me has changed irreversibly. Before he cheated on me, I could have sworn in my life that he would never do it, he is not one of those people. I saw life differently. I idealized love as a feeling and I thought that I was a pet of fate, to have such a relationship, ideal, with a good person, etc. But here it happened, with a bang. I was shaking all over, in shock, when I realized. He moved in with her and from that moment on, something happened to me. I was breathing, but I was not alive. I did not know why I was on earth and God was not taking me home. I experienced it more severely, than the death of a loved one or parent. But I did not show these feelings and states to him. I just told him he was free to seek his happiness. A few months later, he came to us and fell to my knees, begging my forgiveness. He realized that he loved me too much and would not be able to live without me. I don't know how, but I forgave him. We have been together for 12 years, and 4 have passed since the infidelity. I still have feelings for him, but they are not the same as before. There is something that died in me. I have changed. I don't believe in words, not even deeds. Unfortunately, these are lessons. One must live in reality, and I believed in pure, innocent, eternal love. I learned that there is none. these are lessons. One must live in reality, and I believed in pure, innocent, eternal love. I learned that there is none. these are lessons. One must live in reality, and I believed in pure, innocent, eternal love. I learned that there is none.

   I won't even bother to take offense, just a jerk through the door. There are no irreplaceables

   Number 4, why did you put it back? Probably his other was a jester and he had no one to go back to. It is not because he has realized that he loves you and has repented. You shouldn't have accepted it. You could have met another, there are decent men. I don't like such defeatist thinking and melodramas in the style of "all men are the same, I'm dead and empty inside" and the like. There are no irreplaceable people. Life is short and there is only one. Another will appreciate what you offer.

   I don't know why, but I agree with both number 4 and number 6. With number 4 I agree that after the infidelity the niche is not as before, with 6 I agree that there should have been no forgiveness. I will reassure number 4 that almost 5 years have passed for me and again nothing significant has changed, and for me the person swears that he loves me, but for me something has broken - I would never look at this person with the same eyes . I drove like crazy, I shivered for no apparent reason, I took pills, I abused alcohol, but in fact it turns out that I punished myself for other people's idiocy. Number 6, not everything is as simple as we want - I showed the door, but they did not want to leave voluntarily, and I did not take anyone out on the street with jesters. True, there is a difference between my situation and that of number 4 - I would not take back a person, who left voluntarily (for me the man did not want to leave). I flinched, I wanted to answer the questioner (whether he was a man or a woman) - betrayal is not forgiven, maybe it is reconciled, but the bitter taste remains. If you are not old enough to leave the traitor, only then will you be able to forgive, while in a relationship you will always have one thing in mind, even in the best moments betrayal will come to the fore, what do you think it means to forgive, to you close your eyes, bury your head in the sand, forget that when you worshiped someone, he did that job (female or male). Here comes the story of repentance, I would call it hypocrisy - my ex-mistress wanted us to keep fucking, she would take the blame and repent (confess) to God's servant. I confess to myself,

   To 6, from 4 Now that time has passed and I am of your opinion. If I could go back now, I would have acted differently. But then I was out of my mind and my judgment was not sober. For now, everything is fine between us. That is, if something goes wrong or I feel that he is lying to me, I already know for sure what to do. It may not be obvious in my history, but I have dignity.

   I would not forgive infidelity. I know that if I forgive, I will not forget and I will become suspicious of everything. And it is a blow to human dignity.

   There are no unforgivable things. Infidelity does not exist.