Hi. I'm a woman in my 20s and I have a 29-year-old man. We've been together for three years, and this year we got married and we're expecting a baby. Everything between us is great, I love this man more than my life, and I know he loves me a lot, but there's something that hasn't given me peace lately. We have some problems with sex. In general, we have nice sex, it is not boring, we diversify. But one problem comes from not doing it often enough. I haven't counted the times we do it accurately, but it's an average of about 5, 6 times a month, which I'm sort of. The other problem is that he's not loving at all. He doesn't like leading like kisses, hugs. We never kiss with a tongue, only like in the kids in kindergarten. He says he doesn't like someone drooling him, and I love kissing with his tongue, but alas we never do. It's the same with respect to foreplay-it completely lacks. It's missing everything that's related to foreplay, oral love, and so on. That's my other big problem. Don't give me oral love, in general at all. He's done it for sure twice in the whole time since we've been together. He says he doesn't like it, and it's not him when I ask him why he doesn't. I, in turn, do everything you think of in bed, do nothing. I'm fulfilling his fantasies, even if they're not to my taste, there are no taboos in sex for me, since I know I'm going to give him pleasure. But I don't get the same in return. Sex just starts with the actual part without unnecessary kisses, oral games, etc. He ends up and falls asleep pleased, and I almost never manage to finish and no, because I'm not comfortable, on the contrary he super very excites me, he attracts me sexually, but he just doesn't like these things that, for me, are actually quite important-kissing oral love. Until recently, it didn't make me feel so much that we didn't kiss with a tongue, that it didn't make me French, but something happened that made me think quite deeply about these topics, and from which it hurt me a lot. I know I shouldn't have done what I did, but I was driven by female curiosity, and I did. I took his phone and went through it. I don't know what I wanted to find, it was just something that made me go where it wasn't my job, and I came across something I might not have seen because it hurt bad. I've been chatting a lot with an ex of his, which I know he loved a lot. The chat is really very old from five years ago, i.e. I came across a lot of personal correspondence between them that described a lot of intimate things. He had written to her, quote, "I love playing with your kitten tongue," "I want to look at you naked, pet you, touch you, play with your tongue even if we don't have sex," they wrote things about kissing with your tongue, even so on. Things that hurt me so badly because he doesn't make them with me. Things didn't add up. So he was willing to do anything with her, to satisfy her, his fingers, her tongue, just to be nice to her and to finish. He didn't care if it ended. He was mainly thinking about her pleasure. And with us, how things are. He knocks me out as fast as he can get it over and things are over. It's not fair. How come he "loved" playing with her tongue with her kitten, kissing her with her tongue, and he didn't want to. That's where the questions came in my head, what's wrong with me, what's wrong with me, was the other better than me that he wanted these things with her? Questions that haven't come out of my head since. The worst part is, I can't talk to him about what's tormenting me. He sees that there's something that worries me, but how do I tell him what I know, and how I know it, and that I know he likes to do it with her, and he just doesn't like it for any reason, obviously. That's why he just just just doesn't like it, I torture myself because I know it's not just because he doesn't like it if he loves it. So there's something about me that doesn't like it. I'm sick of this thought that something's wrong with me and that this one's better than me, and I don't know what to do. I'm not ugly, I'm not fat. Contrary. I'm weak, I'm pretty, and I've always had a lot of admirers. I just can't figure out what his problem is. Please give me some opinions on this, thank you in advance.
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