Infidelity Or Not?

Hello, this is my first time browsing such sites on the net, but I'm worried and I don't know if what's happening to me is normal. I have a serious friend for almost 3 years, we have always been on the edge in the sense that when we want something we do it no matter what and where, but this only applies when we are together. I don't know if I'm in love with him, but I definitely appreciate and love him a lot. He always gave more than I wanted and dreamed, I never had reason to doubt, although he is the first man I am jealous of. He worked as a DJ, received hugs and kisses from different girls, even when I was with him (and this was rare), so I was calm, it was still in front of my eyes. We had a difficult period in which, after a scandal, he called his ex and went out with her, but he told me about it. He also told me when he had a passion for a "poop". I think I know about all his thoughts about other women, but despite everything 4 days ago when I came back from the sea, he told me that the night we had an argument he was sitting with 2 girls, paid the bill, took them to a disco, aimed at one had was aroused to her, went to the beach, bathed in the sea at 4 o'clock in the morning and because it was cold "just cuddled." She was aware that he had a girlfriend, and he also refused to do anything after learning of her commitment, although he did not deny my assumption that he had done anything if he had the opportunity. It hurts me that he wants another, I don't want to part with him because he embodies my search more than anyone else, but I still think that even if he didn't do anything there on the beach under the stars, it has already happened or will happen. happened. For me, infidelity is spiritual, if he tells me "I slept with one", it will hurt me, but I will experience it, but to have desires for another and with some feelings, this thing makes me feel lied to and cheated, and I don't like it. Maybe a silly story, but how big is the percentage in 3 years of open relationship (everything is shared, he knows about my infidelity and flirtations), he did not miss the "curled" girls Thanks in advance to the respondents!