Infidelity And Divorce

   Well, that's right, my friend, you've given too much in this relationship, so now it's coming out through your nose. Women are always dissatisfied and wanting, constantly looking for some "development" in their relationship, they think that deep feelings and love are eternal / therefore guilty of a number of stupid love movies and books, and women's magazines / and as they pass they have to dump the man to them, nothing that is the best they can get in their miserable life to experience new emotions with some complete rubbish compared to discards. Abe can talk a lot about this, but the truth is that if you don't keep a woman in chess all the time, she won't bother to check you out for unknown reasons. He poured out the pain, it will hurt you for a long time, maybe a lifetime, but there is nothing to do. M, 34

   I don't know how you will be able to forgive these women if they return to you, personally I don't think I could. It will be best for the child to stay with you. Do your best to make it grow with you. And for another woman, you will always find.

   You are neither the first nor the last on the fast train. Since whatever I write to you will not help you, I will write to you what happened to me to take a breath. And I was like you in an identical position 1 to 1, with the difference that I found out about the infidelity and subsequently. Before we parted, in addition to the things you listed, she had prepared a plan to make me an oligophrenic in the eyes of their and our mutual friends, so that she would have her eyes free to roam free. So I had no idea what was going on, common acquaintances began to avoid me, my parents looked at me as if I was beating her every day without even touching her, and she herself raised scandals, behaved boredly as if I were to the interior and furniture of our apartment. We broke up and I was deluded for a long time, not knowing what was going on, as if I was in a nightmare. I tried to get her back to talk to her, but she was adamant, she didn't even pick up my phone, no matter that we weren't divorced yet. I could hardly see my child and did not know what was going on. So one day, only 3 months after the separation, a friend of mine mentioned that she had seen her with a macho man in a restaurant. I was furious and paid a detective (as ridiculous as it sounds, but desperate times call for desperate measures) to find out what was going on. Every penny I gave him was worth it, because he told me that he had been with this man for over a year, that is, even before our separation. The difference from your situation is that the gentleman in question had a lot of money, companies and what not. It hurt a lot then, but the instinct for self-preservation took its toll, and I no longer wanted to know anything about what she was doing and with whom. I was very angry, but after a balance and a bunch of ruined nerves, I decided that no matter how much you love someone, if he hurts you, lies to you and, on top of everything, manipulates others for his own interest, it means that a person has really escaped. She hadn't filed for divorce, so I went and let her go. Not long after, I was divorced. It was a painful time, a lot of loneliness, grief and nerves, but at least I knew that I would see my child regularly according to the law and she would not cut me. What was even sadder was that when I went to pick up my child, they always gave it to me, they always welcomed him and she was not there at all, even at one time a mother and she wanted to talk, apparently the woman had given up on her. She told me that she was hardly coming home, they were looking after my child, and she was almost crazy. I was still in pain, but I was already on my feet, until one day, after almost a year and a half, she called me. He was nice, gentle, careful, and I could even hear him sniffing on the phone and crying, he wanted to talk. Since he didn't say anything on the phone, I decided it was the child and agreed to see him. It turned out that the child had nothing to do with it, she just realized how much I missed her, what a fool she was and how bad she felt about it. He told me that if I wanted to, we could have tried again and everything would be as before. Of course, it immediately became clear to me that he just dumped her, because for discos, for fun and sex she is beautiful and perfect, but for a life together, after a recent divorce, with a child in her arms and a bunch of burdens, she will hardly be the best. party. And then I told her that everyone in this life sooner or later takes responsibility for their actions, and I explained to her that there is no option, no matter how much I feel for her, to live in lies again, manipulations and in anticipation for fear of itching again somewhere, or of rethinking the teenager. I wrote the last lines for you to understand that for sex and the momentary passion some are ready to break their life built so far, but once a person has gone this way, usually such people do not know what they want and all their lives they are irresponsible and hang of foreign nerves. So I'm sure in a month or two or a year she'll want to be with you again for one reason or another, but I don't think that would be constructive. You have 2 options. Either wait for her to get dirty and come back, or draw the line and try to rebuild your life. that for sex and the momentary passion some are ready to break their life built so far, but once a person has gone this way, usually such people do not know what they want and all their lives are irresponsible and hang on other people's nerves. So I'm sure in a month or two or a year she'll want to be with you again for one reason or another, but I don't think that would be constructive. You have 2 options. Either wait for her to get dirty and come back, or draw the line and try to rebuild your life. that for sex and the momentary passion some are ready to break their life built so far, but once a person has gone this way, usually such people do not know what they want and all their lives are irresponsible and hang on other people's nerves. So I'm sure in a month or two or a year she'll want to be with you again for one reason or another, but I don't think that would be constructive. You have 2 options. Either wait for her to get dirty and come back, or draw the line and try to rebuild your life. but I don't think that would matter constructively. You have 2 options. Either wait for her to get dirty and come back, or draw the line and try to rebuild your life. but I don't think that would matter constructively. You have 2 options. Either wait for her to get dirty and come back, or draw the line and try to rebuild your life.

   I am very sorry friend for this naughty outcome, you can be sure that whoever has shown interest in it, it will be short-lived, and it will get what it deserves, I would rather advise you to try to keep your child. There are a lot of women, my friend, believe me, you will get on your feet and so on. I want to tell you that I am writing to you from experience, although I was not married, I played this series. Everything will pass and pass. This is what happens when you are good, attentive, kind if you and I were like some Roma classes and if you looked at her like a dog, it would be different.

   If you are such a responsible person as you describe yourself and do not give the child, agree with her in a peaceful way to take him. The child will be happier with a father like you than with a mother like her.

   I sincerely regret what you went through. The way you express yourself shows that you are an intelligent person. Men like you are rare. In front of you with a clear conscience. You did what was up to you to keep your marriage. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for such relationships to grow into marriage, but how happy another question is. And, unfortunately, another suffering child is not uncommon in such relationships. I sincerely wish you to find a new love in your life that is worth all the effort.

   Did you quarrel with your parents because of her, did your mother cry? Did you cause suffering to the woman who gave birth to you and raised you because of your wife? I have good reason to ask you this question. If you have such sins, go to her and repent with tears in your eyes, kiss your hands and ask for forgiveness. Because, she may not have cursed you out loud, and the mother's oath is very scary. Do your best to forgive you. One must respect one's parents if one wants happiness in this life. You cannot build your happiness on your mother's unhappiness.

   And how did the child receive it? By the way to ask a girl or a boy you have found out that he is only 5 years old.

   Just not to suffer from separation. Because most young children when their parents are separated and they suffer. We tell you this, a boy of 20 and a girl of 7

   Your story is really unpleasant. I sympathize with you and I understand you ... Isn't there a way for the child to live with you and not with this one?

   Dude, don't think so, you better get rid of this woman. It's just a pity that the child will suffer because of her stupidity. I'm not a lawyer, but still consult a divorce lawyer if there is a possibility to take the child. Your wife has cheated on you and the blame for the divorce is entirely hers, don't let her go without a fight. In addition, if you drink, do not work or have any other defects, you can also use them in court. However, consult a lawyer first, and a specialist in divorce cases.

   There is nothing you can do in the end. She is in love with him, and that is stronger than anything. Hopefully in a few years she'll cool down to him and come to her senses. By law, I think the child stays with the mother ... Don't worry about how she will look after him and what upbringing she will give him. Every mother wants the best for her child, and if you want it - offer your help in spite of everything. You have a child by her, help her with the upbringing and I hope your wife is one of the people with her mind who would not turn their children against their father. Whatever happens now, one day your child will grow up and understand you.

   * Morally failed mothers *, huh? It was very easy to hand out these qualifications. It was as if she was working on the highway kind of. And you are much kinder in your statements about your friend. Who has no less guilt than her. That even older, because he did not stop at all in his desires for her, knowing full well that she was married, with a child, and a husband who was his friend. Sorry, but only one is ever to blame for these things. And if we divide them into categories of moral failure, his actions show that he has degraded.

   Look, author, you may be hurt right now, but it's not just your wife's fault. You got engaged so seriously too early and you two weren't ready for marriage and children. Apparently you couldn't make her happy, I know - the fact is, she wants you to break up. I don't think she cheated on you for a long time, she just wasn't happy and left you for someone else. There is a difference. Many families are like that. Don't dramatize. If you don't turn your divorce into a battlefield on your own, your daughter won't have to suffer. And the other time you think before you start a family, you have to do a lot more than wash the dishes and get dirty, become a man, grow up, and then have children. Now suffer the consequences, otherwise your child will be fine. The question is whether you will believe in yourself in a few years, when another woman dumps you ... then whether you will believe that you are the perfect man

   8, are you in class? I'm sorry, author, that it got there. as you describe things, it seems unlikely to me that the relationship with the lover is long-lasting, but that hardly shines on you. anyway, you can hardly trust her in the future. get over it and move on, no matter how impossible it may seem to you. Success! F41

   To number 14. Both are guilty, but if someone has to be PO - guilty, it's the woman there is no dispute. If she had stood on her ass (without apology), looking after her husband, child and life (when I look, nothing was missing), and she went to scratch her itch with this and that. And that makes him a responsible person, not some 18-year-old pickle. I was just angry. By the author, she will realize the mistake, but it will be too late. I don't think you should date her as much as you love her. Every storm is followed by the sun! And yours will rise! Success! TT

   TT, you forget that the woman in question went with the author as a 20-year-old pickle, and he was an even bigger pickle than her. I cannot imagine that a decision made at such an age can be the basis of any marriage. All my acquaintances who hurried with the marriage today are divorced women and men ... nothing new under the sun ... As for the new relationship, time will tell, but I don't see what the author is affected by. The important thing is that his wife doesn't want to be with him anymore, period. Who and how long he will go with is no longer his problem!

   17, it is good for men to think that only the woman is to blame for this or that. Or she is more guilty. Yes but no. The more guilty she is, the more guilty the so-called * friend * is. Did she just scratch her itch? He was just looking away, wasn't he? Great arguments. P. P. And it is a great delusion of men to think that after their wives left them, they then regretted and scratched to return again. There may be such ... juvenile pickles or fools without a gram of self-esteem, but not everyone does that.

   And I advise you to consult a lawyer and check what chances you have to take the child with you. It is best for him to live with you - this way you will be sure that he grows with everything he needs, and not that you give money for restaurants and for your wife's boyfriend. I say that because you look serious and not like a person who will leave BGN 30 a month for his child. I also advise you to try to move forward. Time heals and you will meet another woman. You just have to open up to the world around you. Don't take her back, because the doubts will always be in you, you can tease her, and the children always feel the tension in a relationship. You know that when you glue a vase, the cracks are visible again. Number 14, I don't agree with you. His friend may be a scumbag, he may have known she was married, and he may be very immoral, but it is not his duty to look after her family and to think of another's child. No one will come to look after your child and make sure your family is well - that was her duty. And that he, too, is not a commodity, is not a commodity - but if he had not been, he would have been different once she had decided that she needed variety. Ana

   I am also a woman and I am of the opinion that if my friend cheats on it does not matter with my acquaintance or not - he will be the PO - the culprit if I may say so. After all, he is with me, he has a head on his shoulders with which he can think. The one she cares about, whether he's cheating on me or not. She looks after her pleasure and does NOT HAVE to comply with me. While he is the man who supposedly loves me and is with me. Again, not that the hypothetical girlfriend is not to blame, but it will hurt me more than my partner's action. Because he is the man who betrayed me, not her. As for the author's wife, she was 20 when they started seeing each other, but 25 (or how many there were) when they got married. Then he should be a mature man who thinks soberly. She gave birth to a child and suddenly itched somewhere, and so out of monotony she broke up her family and a young life. (My comment is directed exactly at the author's story, whether it really is or not, but let's face it, it probably has a different version). She came across a man who loved her for 10 years, took care of her and the child, they tried to keep the fire going. She could have been one of those immature peddlers and only now she would go to discos and pubs and let our beauty beat the child, but she is not. For me, this woman is ungrateful and will soon realize what a mistake she has made. TT but it is not. For me, this woman is ungrateful and will soon realize what a mistake she has made. TT but it is not. For me, this woman is ungrateful and will soon realize what a mistake she has made. TT

   Tear and run, forget about her and the child, they will turn him against you and it will be even worse for him to be against you, your blood !!! You are young and you will find a new wife, younger and a girl, believe me. And if you didn't dare take her back, that means you're not a man ---------------------------------- --------------------------------------------

   Number 16. I'm number 8. Yes, I am fine and I can tell you that if the Bulgarians respected the 5th commandment more, they would save themselves a lot of misfortune.

   Wow, what did you do to her- * urva ta * urva. Why be like that. In order to commit infidelity, then something was not right between you (I know this from experience). She just fell in love. And it doesn't matter if he's unemployed, uneducated, etc. Even if they break up with him, she'll find someone else, but she won't come back to you. Tighten up a bit and accept things as a man. And stop complaining - what will happen to the child. When the mother is unhappy and the children are unhappy.

   And I think it's for the good of the child. How to grow up in a family where parents quarrel every day. As I read, I understand that your wife does not die of happiness looking after her child and the house. Let her go, don't stop her. What is your wife for? He will do it with another tomorrow. Well, she can take the child, but she can also return it later, seeing that it bothers her. Talk to her calmly and assure her that it is best for you to watch it, and she will take it whenever she wants. You don't care at all. You are young and as far as I understand, you are a very good and intelligent person. Life is ahead of you. You got rid of a cuckoo. Tomorrow she will sober up and return to pray, but do not accept her. This will be a mistake and it will bring other problems.

   Hello, Author! I am a woman - this is an explanation. I had a colleague with whom we later remained good friends - I emphasize Friends, he had the same problem as your 1: 1 in court, his ex-wife gave up or agreed to keep the child with his father. This was welcome for him - he had prepared for a fight / in the hall /, and the child is even a girl - a girl is harder to give to a father! So you don't know, you may be so upset - does anyone know ... Know that a child is difficult to look after, commitments are difficult, and a child is taken care of emotionally - it's not just to have something to eat, dress . The child has other needs - you must be friends with him! This former colleague of all the RDs of the child, which he did, invited the mother - for God's sake, this woman always had a job and just then - she was terribly busy. So you don't know Do not lose hope and smile for the sake of the child - so that he is calm too. Success!

   Can you give me a skype so we can correspond?

   Author, in a separation the blame is never only on one. Both are guilty - each in his own way. And what does "morally failed woman" mean ?? You have problems in the relationship and has found another, for how long - time will tell. However, this does not mean that she is a bad mother and that she does not take care of her child. He just can't and doesn't want to live with you. Accept it. Leaving you doesn't mean leaving your child behind. Don't use it as an excuse to spit on her. I'm sure it's not easy for her in this situation either. For information, I am a woman, married and unfaithful. ;)

   The author to number 1: In principle, you are right that if you do not keep a woman in chess all the time, she will eventually beat you, but also who would suggest such a development. It will hardly hurt me all my life, as it hurts me now. The wounds will heal, but scars will remain in any case. The problem for us men today is that we trust too much the women we love. Michelle Langley, author of Female Infidelity, says most men who get divorced never realize their wives have been unfaithful. Up to number 4, number 6, number 11 and number 12: For the child the chances are zero. In Bulgaria, and not only, fathers are by definition bad and unable to look after children. Here, in order to take care, she must be so morally degraded that she is visibly incapable of caring for the child (a hardened alcoholic, drug addict, prostitute, or mentally ill). That is why, by mutual agreement with a regime that was quite liberal for me, we agreed to see the child. Besides, she gives it to me herself to have time for her lover. To number 8: I didn't argue with my parents about her. My parents are good people who loved her as their own daughter, accepted her as part of me, never interfered in our relationship, respected her and did not say a bad word about her. Now they are very disappointed and suffer a lot because of the whole story. My ex-mother-in-law, however, is a person who has made a huge contribution to the failure of our marriage. This evil woman, all these years, undermined our relationship, hated me for no reason and when the child was born she went under the skin of her daughter and treated her very finely and thinly ("Mom, do this, cheat that", "Here for the child edi what are you ", etc.). Basically a lot of people say that when you take a wife it is good to see what the mother represents! To number 9: The child is a boy and accepts him visibly badly, he had even started to stutter. I will never forget, when we were in a "temporary separation" on her initiative, how in the first week since we were separated, when I went to pick him up from kindergarten, he ran crying, trembling all over and hugged and hugged me crying and begging me to come so that even now, as I write this, my eyes water. She was there with me, as she was on many other occasions when our son used to say to her, "Daddy, come and come to us," "Mom, tell him to come," "Daddy, as long as you've worked." "Daddy can't do that, come to us." Not once did her heart flutter at these childish words. I realize that all adulterers, especially women are like mad and have become insensitive egotists, thinking only of their own pleasure. To number 14: Yes, she is morally ruined. A woman who has a lawful marriage before God and commits such a grievous sin is adulterous and immoral. A woman who abandons her child and goes to fuck another man at night cannot be called anything else. To number 15: I don't know about her anymore, but I was definitely ready for marriage because I was brought up in family values ​​and Christian morals. The problem for many modern women, as well as men, is that they think that their happiness depends on someone other than themselves in their marriage. Nothing was missing, but many women feel unhappy about something else, they just can not love, their love, even if it lasted a long time passes, but does not grow into love. That's when they start to miss that romance of a long time ago and the routine, the bills, the shopping, the cleaning, the cooking bores them because they want adventure. Such people are unfortunate because they have condemned themselves to misery, even if they temporarily experience the same thing with another person. Over time, the curve drops sharply again and they feel unhappy again. Basically, the one who cheats enters exactly this trap - looking for the constant feeling of love, the magic of the first moments in any relationship. However, this is up to date. I was not a perfect husband, there are no perfect people, but I did not deserve what I got. To number 18: I no longer give five money to whom I will sleep with, but if he is going to live with someone, whether with this michlusin or someone else, I need to know, because my child will also live with him. The first thing I'm going to do is warn the gentleman that if a hair falls out of his head ... To number 19: It's her lover's fault too, there's no question about that. To number 22: I will not forget about my child and I will do my best for him. I see him regularly and my blood and flesh will not leave. She lives near me, his kindergarten is next to my block. He continues my lineage and I will do my best to grow up as a good man who will never do that to his wife or foreign women. To number 24: Your thoughts are like a 15-16 year old pickle.

   M39. I went through something like that. For you, the case is clear, regardless of feelings and emotions, the important thing is how to do it. I learned one thing from personal experience. The place of the children is with the more responsible parent. I hardly need to clarify who is the more responsible parent in this case. There is no law under which in case of divorce, the children go to the mother. The court decides. Do what you can to make the case work for you. Relationships, money ... you remember. You will have to draw, there is no way. Don't rely on pure play. Ways a lot. Our judicial system is such that if you have the desire, you can influence it. She fights for the child, the 'mother' does not think of her. Good luck.

   She may also refuse to take the child. If you have better conditions for him, housing, you are more emotionally responsible, and she is mentally and materially unstable, etc. For this a lawyer can better give you advice. Otherwise, I think there is no future with her current boyfriend, as you describe the situation, but who knows. I'd rather look at something from a woman's point of view that might have "overturned the car" in her. The big question is why this woman after 10 years of living with you comes to cooling down, breaking up and wanting to get away from you ... Tiredness, satiety .... Is this a natural course of a marriage / relationship, is it a kind of art to keep the fire of love in your family and whether it takes some effort. You write: "She has grown cold to me. over time, for no good reason, he even made things up, Is it just for you to hurry to satisfy your instinct or is it a time to make her feel wanted, beautiful, to be magical everything in that moment, to fly and be like in another dimension, etc .. Don't take it for granted and don't let routine take over your relationship, but make it tremble, have emotions, touch it, hug it, etc. Here you see where men most often stumble and then wonder what it happens to their wives, why things don't go well. I'm not saying you didn't make an effort for what I listed. It is possible that she has something that is not known exactly how it went and led to her collapse. But we can't tell that from her now. They say that a person was looking outside for what he did not find at home ... I would rather try to explain some things. The bad is, that she wasn't honest with you and didn't share what she had and how she felt, she lied that there was nothing, and it wasn't like that. This is a little immature on her part. You didn't look for a solution together, and you wandered alone, even when you were at the family counseling. That you are a decent and responsible person is important in the long run, but it is a pity that she cannot see and appreciate it ... at least for now, so that you can overcome all obstacles, look in one direction and keep going together.

   How it did not become clear that the reason for such stories are in the couple. Only then does the third side appear in the triangle. There are women who cheat because of sports, interest, just in principle. If your wife is of this type, then you have chosen her as such. If not - things have gone wrong between you. The fact that she filed for divorce does not make her morally bankrupt. She doesn't have to be grateful for anything material. As one very advanced man said, no one is here to meet someone else's expectations. The more people understand it, the less unnecessary drama there will be. You don't care what happens to this woman from now on. Just be careful not to make the mistake of many men who, after divorce, spend their relationship with their child through their relationship with their mother. You move on with your life without her, but with care,

   Hello! I am a 19 year old boy. This is what my mother did. She treated my father, me, and my brother that way. He went to a slacker and saw that he could not live with him. Now she calls us every day and writes text messages to me and my brother, to go to see her, because loneliness kills her. Your child is really small, but you are a serious person, take care of him. Educate him to be a modest, kind and hard-working person, but not easily trusting.

   Author, since a woman with a lawful marriage before God is an adulteress and morally ruined, I do not think about what are most of the men with a lawful marriage before God, for whom breaking up and regularly changing lovers is something like sport and self-proof. Instead of putting on a rag and sitting at home with his wife and children.

   Author Up to number 31: She will not give up the child. The big question, as you call it, has much deeper causes, rooted in human childhood. As scholastic as it sounds, everything has some logical explanation. She herself grew up with 2 divorced women - her mother and grandmother. Although dry, the statistics are clear that about 70% of marriages of children of divorced parents also end in divorce, for one reason or another. According to psychologists, this is because such people have a low sense of commitment to their spouse, especially if the parent with whom they lived has not remarried. She has not seen a family scandal and the ways in which marital difficulties are overcome. In principle, everyone who creates a family applies the family model of the family in which he grew up. The example of the mother is essential for the formation of the daughter's personality. What she saw, she saw her mother going out on dates with lovers, and she was standing with her grandmother. It is difficult in this situation to have the same attitude to family life as I, whose parents, no matter how imperfect, at the cost of cruel compromises and love have kept their marriage for almost 38 years! I did not ignore the things she perceived, but what you say about my attitude, romance, gestures, words, etc., she did not miss. I have always maintained the fire of love in a variety of ways - from giving her gifts with occasion and without occasion, to supporting her in everything. Love is self-giving, not absorbing the personality. Yes, I spoke with a lot of love, with tenderness and clearly, and I showed that she was the only one for me, but she just got cold, because he stopped enjoying the good, not appreciating it, and getting bored of his family commitments. And marriage is a thorny path that goes by two, together, hand in hand. In it, the feeling of gratitude to the partner is essential. Over time, the words "thank you", "sorry", "forgive" disappeared from her vocabulary! No one is perfect, everyone has their flaws, but if we look only at them, the natural ending is unfortunately. If we all go this way to look for people's faults, we must slaughter ourselves! What's more, she became irritated by everything in me and my behavior - from being cheerful and in a good mood to not being in the mood sometimes. Not only did I speak to her tenderly and with love, but I also supported her in all her difficult moments. After returning from motherhood for about 6 months, she returned regularly torn by her boss and cried on my shoulder. I always comforted and supported her, I gave her courage, but she forgot it. You ask about sex ... Not only the quantity, but also the quality were at the required level. I have never been selfish in bed. I was in no hurry to satisfy my urge without giving. I even thought more about her pleasure, because then I felt satisfied too. However, she cooled down simply because she stopped being in love. Yes, I loved her with enthusiasm, regularly and a lot, but at one point she decided that this did not satisfy her. He told me some time ago, "No one sleeps with his wife almost every night." It turned out that it was a lot. Over time, he began to refuse, I'm tired of the motives, I'm sleepy. And I accepted that, but when I frequent it I asked the question. Yes, you slept with me, but the quality on its part has fallen sharply (with rare exceptions), at least for about a year. She just stopped handing out in bed. however, I did not even think of infidelity, because I loved her and accepted her with all her flaws. I just said to myself, "this is my wife, the woman God gave me as my husband, and I have to love her with all her flaws and prove my love." The claim that a person is looking outside, what he does not find at home is not relevant in this case. She had everything a sensible woman would want - a strong and determined man who loves and supports her, good (I'm not saying perfect and wealthy) material condition, good job, healthy child, peace of mind, etc., but it is that love and was missing because this condition, as I described above, is up to time. If love, which sooner or later goes away is not transformed into love, it occurs alienation, indifference and sometimes even hatred. Then one begins to feel unhappy and dissatisfied with one's marriage. And from there the road to infidelity and the destruction of the family is short.

   Author To number 34: The men in question you are also talking about are adulterers, people without brains and a drop of sense of responsibility, as well as selfish and cowardly people who do not respect the pain of their wives. Such people become great traitors because they think of nothing but their own pleasure. Imagine such a man at war, as nothing will betray you and stab you in the back to get rid of his own skin. 3-4 years ago, when I was working at another job, I was surrounded by young and attractive colleagues who enjoyed me and I even received candid offers. I tried to stop any attempts to get involved in such things with a smile and tact, and sometimes sharply. I'm not Tom Cruise, but I'm not discarded, I have a sense of humor and other qualities that women value. However, I was careful with women. I didn't go to team building, because I know what was going on there, and I always realized that I had a woman at home with a child in her arms, who sent me and ironed my shirt. How do I look her in the eye then, how? When a person loves, he is not selfish and does not think with his head down. Yes, after the birth my wife gained weight, relaxed, became careless in her appearance, but I loved her and I didn't care because she is my wife! Gradually she regained her shape and became as attractive as before, and in the last year she bought so much underwear, clothes, shoes, bags and cosmetics because of her lover that an entire wardrobe could not fit them. And I fool only encouraged her and told her: "buy you deserve"! how? When a person loves, he is not selfish and does not think with his head down. Yes, after the birth my wife gained weight, relaxed, became careless in her appearance, but I loved her and I didn't care because she is my wife! Gradually she regained her shape and became as attractive as before, and in the last year she bought so much underwear, clothes, shoes, bags and cosmetics because of her lover that an entire wardrobe could not fit them. And I fool only encouraged her and told her: "buy you deserve"! how? When a person loves, he is not selfish and does not think with his head down. Yes, after the birth my wife gained weight, relaxed, became careless in her appearance, but I loved her and I didn't care because she is my wife! Gradually she regained her shape and became as attractive as before, and in the last year she bought so much underwear, clothes, shoes, bags and cosmetics because of her lover that a whole wardrobe could not fit them. And I fool only encouraged her and told her: "buy you deserve"! bags and cosmetics that an entire wardrobe could not fit. And I fool only encouraged her and told her: "buy you deserve"! bags and cosmetics that an entire wardrobe could not fit. And I fool only encouraged her and told her: "buy you deserve"!

   Author, you write very well and interestingly and I am very sorry for the breakup of your family, but you are not quite right. "Basically, everyone who starts a family applies the family model of the family in which he grew up. My mother is a round orphan, she never had a father (he died at the age of 30), but a mother? she never remarried. The mother, however, is a devoted wife and is very different from her own mother ("The example of the mother is essential to the formation of the daughter's personality.") Because my grandmother is a powerful and independent woman, while my mother is a soft and kind woman. in the good sense of the word, she can't do without her husband until my grandmother knows practically what it's like to be a married woman. But you are right about one thing - both my mother and grandmother are women, completely devoted to their family. To this day, my grandmother is faithful to her husband and has been a widow for 50 years. To this day, he tells of the father of his children with much love, as if this man had not died so long ago. I have a girlfriend who grew up in a home, and here she is today - a devoted mother and wife. In my opinion, you are just too young and green, you have committed and taken on responsibilities that were not for your age. The same goes for your wife. You weren't just ready for family life, and obviously (at least she) didn't know what you wanted out of life. But anyway - everyone knows the situation. Accept that your marriage is over. It happens even in the best families. For example, my husband is a divorced man. This never bothered me, until recently we had not talked about his first marriage, but he describes a similar attitude to me - his ex began to treat him as part of the furniture, sex was only on schedule and as a kind of victim on her part, finally and openly told him that? he had ruined his life, his youth, and he had always taken care of the family and was a successful and sensible man. Life does not end with divorce, nor are you doomed to live without a family, a loving wife and children. Here, I am my husband's second wife, we have loved and understood each other for many, many years. At first he was very afraid that it would turn out as in his first marriage, but when that did not happen, he finally calmed down. The days go by, we have children, we work, we go on vacation, we love each other. Everyone has the right to a second chance in life. I don't know a better husband and father. Just because a woman hasn't appreciated you doesn't mean you won't find your partner in another. Time heals all wounds. Come to think of it, if he hadn't divorced, our wonderful family and our wonderful children wouldn't be here today.

   Author Up to number 37: The case you are writing about is different. Orphans have successful families, but children of divorced parents in most cases do not. At least that's what the statistics show.

   by 37 authors (38) - what is this statistic that I do not know ... Everything is strictly individual. Are you saying with your beliefs that your child will definitely not be able to start a good family? My husband's first marriage children too? It all depends on the people. It's just that today we are not as dependent on each other as in the past, and especially women are not ready to endure as much as women did before. For example, I would not tolerate an alcoholic or abusive man, and my mother's circle of friends is full of such aunts, there is one whose husband has been beating her for 30 years and tolerates him. You're just in a hurry with the marriage, I think. My husband was in such a hurry at the time, because I can't understand how such a man is divorced at all. Well, luckily for me, but since you didn't choose your wives, you're going to fuck your heads. Behold, every evil for good, as I wrote. If my man had not divorced, our family, our children would not have him today and he would not be happy. Better a poor horse than no horse at all, isn't it? Head up, look at things positively and look for your child. There are enough women. True and great love is clearly ahead of you. Life is a great thing, don't feel sorry for yourself, what happened happened. Sometimes nothing just depends on us. Better now than standing alone at 60 and wondering who to spend your old days with, for example. At least now you have enough time to start over. Believe me - you will be a husband and father again, but at home you will have a woman who appreciates, respects, loves, desires and is happy with you. You deserve it, there is no room for compromise in personal happiness! Everyone deserves to be loved and wanted. today our family, our children would not have him and he would not be happy. Better a poor horse than no horse at all, isn't it? Head up, look at things positively and look for your child. There are enough women. True and great love is clearly ahead of you. Life is a great thing, don't feel sorry for yourself, what happened happened. Sometimes nothing just depends on us. Better now than standing alone at 60 and wondering who to spend your old days with, for example. At least now you have enough time to start over. Believe me - you will be a husband and father again, but at home you will have a woman who appreciates, respects, loves, desires and is happy with you. You deserve it, there is no room for compromise in personal happiness! Everyone deserves to be loved and wanted. today our family, our children would not have him and he would not be happy. Better a poor horse than no horse at all, isn't it? Head up, look at things positively and look for your child. There are enough women. True and great love is clearly ahead of you. Life is a great thing, don't feel sorry for yourself, what happened happened. Sometimes nothing just depends on us. Better now than standing alone at 60 and wondering who to spend your old days with, for example. At least now you have enough time to start over. Believe me - you will be a husband and father again, but at home you will have a woman who appreciates, respects, loves, desires and is happy with you. You deserve it, there is no room for compromise in personal happiness! Everyone deserves to be loved and wanted. right? Head up, look at things positively and look for your child. There are enough women. True and great love is clearly ahead of you. Life is a great thing, don't feel sorry for yourself, what happened happened. Sometimes nothing just depends on us. Better now than standing alone at 60 and wondering who to spend your old days with, for example. At least now you have enough time to start over. Believe me - you will be a husband and father again, but at home you will have a woman who appreciates, respects, loves, desires and is happy with you. You deserve it, there is no room for compromise in personal happiness! Everyone deserves to be loved and wanted. right? Head up, look at things positively and look for your child. There are enough women. True and great love is clearly ahead of you. Life is a great thing, don't feel sorry for yourself, what happened happened. Sometimes nothing just depends on us. Better now than standing alone at 60 and wondering who to spend your old days with, for example. At least now you have enough time to start over. Believe me - you will be a husband and father again, but at home you will have a woman who appreciates, respects, loves, desires and is happy with you. You deserve it, there is no room for compromise in personal happiness! Everyone deserves to be loved and wanted. Sometimes nothing just depends on us. Better now than standing alone at 60 and wondering who to spend your old days with, for example. At least now you have enough time to start over. Believe me - you will be a husband and father again, but at home you will have a woman who appreciates, respects, loves, desires and is happy with you. You deserve it, there is no room for compromise in personal happiness! Everyone deserves to be loved and wanted. Sometimes nothing just depends on us. Better now than standing alone at 60 and wondering who to spend your old days with, for example. At least now you have enough time to start over. Believe me - you will be a husband and father again, but at home you will have a woman who appreciates, respects, loves, desires and is happy with you. You deserve it, there is no room for compromise in personal happiness! Everyone deserves to be loved and wanted.

   Author, I'm 34. I provoked you to find out to some extent whether you also share and condemn certain things in people, such as men and women. Congratulations on your way of thinking and I wish you to keep it that way. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I do not justify your wife, what happened - happened. But resentment towards her and insults will not relieve you, you only burden yourself even more. I am of the opinion that everything has its reason for happening to us at some point. Although sometimes this thing hurts, torments, discourages and rages against fate and the person concerned, we later realize that it was for our own good. It sounds amazing and naive, but it's true, I was convinced by my own experience. May you find the strength to overcome the anger and grief within you and move forward after shaking it off completely. I will be happy for you to continue writing and sharing how you are doing.

   Until n 37 I do not agree that the author and his girlfriend were young when they got married and that's why it came to this - they were 23-24 years old. How old are they - 35-40 years old, and this is not a guarantee that they will not have problems. There are also young responsible, conscientious, smart and mature people who have successful marriages. For example, I was 22 years old and my husband was 25 years old and we have been together for almost 24 years. so that's not the reason. I think that what the author points out is rather the probable reason for what is happening - the example of the parents in the family, ie their absence and lack of following a pattern of behavior. She did not have an example in her childhood about the role of the man in the family and the dedication that a woman must have in marriage - she grew up without a grandfather and without a father. She witnessed her mother dating men and others. similar. Here, too, it is not a problem for her to arrange meetings, to cheat and to hide. There is simply no moral threshold - it is lowered or missing. She has no established value system for the role of wife and mother in her childhood. She not only did not have an example of how to overcome difficulties in marriage, but she also had emotional decompensation since childhood, she is socially and emotionally unstable. of the behavior of the women close to her, whom she copied and later projected into her family. And their family collapses, because there is no pivot ... And the author is now banging his head why it happened .... And even after 2-3 years after falling in love, there remains dedication, respect and mature love. But she leaves the tame, which is more than good, and goes in search of the wild to satisfy something primary. n 31 am But to cheat and hide. There is simply no moral threshold - it is lowered or missing. She has no established value system for the role of wife and mother in her childhood. She not only did not have an example of how to overcome difficulties in marriage, but she also had emotional decompensation since childhood, she is socially and emotionally unstable. of the behavior of the women close to her, whom she copied and later projected into her family. And their family collapses, because there is no pivot ... And the author is now banging his head why it happened .... And even after 2-3 years after falling in love, there remains dedication, respect and mature love. But she leaves the tame, which is more than good, and goes in search of the wild to satisfy something primary. n 31 am But to cheat and hide. There is simply no moral threshold - it is lowered or missing. She has no established value system for the role of wife and mother in her childhood. She not only did not have an example of how to overcome difficulties in marriage, but she also had emotional decompensation since childhood, she is socially and emotionally unstable. of the behavior of the women close to her, whom she copied and later projected into her family. And their family collapses, because there is no pivot ... And the author is now banging his head why it happened .... And even after 2-3 years after falling in love, there remains dedication, respect and mature love. But she leaves the tame, which is more than good, and goes in search of the wild to satisfy something primary. n 31 am But She has no established value system for the role of wife and mother in her childhood. She not only did not have an example of how to overcome difficulties in marriage, but she also had emotional decompensation since childhood, she is socially and emotionally unstable. of the behavior of the women close to her, whom she copied and later projected into her family. And their family collapses, because there is no pivot ... And the author is now banging his head why it happened .... And even after 2-3 years after falling in love, there remains dedication, respect and mature love. But she leaves the tame, which is more than good, and goes in search of the wild to satisfy something primary. n 31 am But The formed value system for the role of the wife and mother is not present in her childhood. She not only did not have an example of how to overcome the difficulties in marriage, but she also had emotional decompensations since childhood, she is socially and emotionally unstable. of the behavior of the women close to her, whom she copied and later projected into her family. And their family collapses, because there is no pivot ... And the author is now banging his head why it happened .... And even after 2-3 years after falling in love, there remains dedication, respect and mature love. But she leaves the tame, which is more than good, and goes in search of the wild to satisfy something primary. n 31 am But but she has also had emotional decompensations since her childhood, she is socially and emotionally unstable. She follows the pattern of behavior of the women close to her, which she copies and later designs in her family. And their family collapses, because there is no pivot ... And the author is now banging his head why it happened .... And even after 2-3 years after falling in love, there remains dedication, respect and mature love. But she leaves the tame, which is more than good, and goes in search of the wild to satisfy something primary. n 31 am But but she has also had emotional decompensations since her childhood, she is socially and emotionally unstable. She follows the pattern of behavior of the women close to her, which she copies and later projects in her family. And their family collapses, because there is no pivot ... And the author is now banging his head why it happened .... And even after 2-3 years after falling in love, there remains dedication, respect and mature love. But she leaves the tame, which is more than good, and goes in search of the wild to satisfy something primary. n 31 am But dedication, respect and mature love remain. But she leaves the tame, which is more than good, and goes in search of the wild to satisfy something primary. n 31 am But dedication, respect and mature love remain. But she leaves the tame, which is more than good, and goes in search of the wild to satisfy something primary. n 31 am But

   Author, you look like a decent person and you're terribly hurt. Look at things from this side - God has prepared for you a wonderful wife and mother of your children. But to be with her, you had to understand some things and draw certain conclusions. And that's why he gave you your ex-wife to help you see some things clearly. Now is the time to draw conclusions, carefully consider your own mistakes, no matter how small they may seem, to avoid them a second time. Without sprinkling ashes on your head. And when you're ready, the beautiful wife has no way not to show up. And take your time, you need time. Success!

   Hello, I find the topic late, but I hope someone will pay attention to my question. I met a man who experienced exactly the same thing. When we met, he had just divorced. It so happened that we saw each other every day, we liked each other a lot, we had a very good time together, after a few months our relationship became more serious. Then he got scared. He said that he was not ready for a relationship and he was afraid that he could no longer love and be complete. He began to stay away so as not to waste my time. I understand how he feels after such a difficult divorce, but I don't want to lose him. He does not allow me to go with him during this difficult period, and I do not want another. Please tell me when did you manage to overcome what happened and when were you ready for a new relationship? I see that a long time has passed. Were you really unable to accept a new relationship at first,

   Hello! Author, I felt affected. Drop the statistics - I'm from a divorced family, but I won't deprive my children of the only thing I can't buy them - a father. I make a reservation, however, that I do not have a scandalmonger, a rapist or a drunkard for a man. Then I would think differently, also if there was a danger of living in stress and damaging the relationship with my child trying to turn my back on betrayal like yours ... And I'm not 100% immersed in flowers and roses, however ... every marriage is thorny road, that's right, the problems are different, but there are always. For you: keep in touch with your child, love him and take care of him. Her mother left her. Normal women (and I consider myself one, so it applies to me) make another mistake - the child displaces everyone else. If this is not the case with yours, do not count her as a normal woman and mother. There is a very revealing poem for women - mothers, by Georgi Gospodinov: The third sex. It shows that the woman with the child is already so in love with him that for the sake of his happiness she would ignore everyone. Your wife is not given this feeling openly. You do not need it. The third sex I saw her then Mother of her children so much mother is no longer a woman this is I told myself a different sex this is something else third we are not given to know I want to repeat it very slowly to get used to Now she is a mother of her children Now she is mother of her children Now a cone and a bee is a mother beehive hive of her children "... so the lover wakes up orphaned when his beloved guesses another man for his and the peoples family. Oh, hard then the lover, but twice as hard to a husband, because they will both be orphans with a living mother. Woe to them! " old southeastern cry of Georgi Gospodinov: The third sex. It shows that the woman with the child is already so in love with him that for the sake of his happiness she would ignore everyone. Your wife is not given this feeling openly. You do not need it. The third sex I saw her then Mother of her children so much mother is no longer a woman this is I told myself a different sex this is something else third we are not given to know I want to repeat it very slowly to get used to It is now the mother of her children It is mother of her children Now a cone and a bee is a mother bee hive of her children "... so the lover wakes up orphaned when his beloved guesses another man for his and the peoples family. Oh, hard then the lover, but twice as hard to a husband, because they will both be orphans with a living mother. Woe to them! " old southeastern cry of Georgi Gospodinov: The third sex. It shows that the woman with the child is already so in love with him that for the sake of his happiness she would ignore everyone. Your wife is not given this feeling openly. You do not need it. The third sex I saw her then Mother of her children so much mother is no longer a woman this is I told myself a different sex this is something else third we are not given to know I want to repeat it very slowly to get used to Now she is a mother of her children Now she is mother of her children Now a cone and a bee is a mother beehive hive of her children "... so the lover wakes up orphaned when his beloved guesses another man for his and the peoples family. Oh, hard then the lover, but twice as hard to a husband, because they will both be orphans with a living mother. Woe to them! " old southeastern cry that for his happiness she would ignore everyone. Your wife is not given this feeling openly. You do not need it. The third sex I saw her then Mother of her children so much mother is no longer a woman this is I told myself a different sex this is something else third we are not given to know I want to repeat it very slowly to get used to It is now the mother of her children It is mother of her children Now a cone and a bee is a mother beehive hive of her children "... so the lover wakes up orphaned when his beloved guesses another man for his and the peoples family. Oh, hard then the lover, but twice as hard to a husband, because they will both be orphans with a living mother. Woe to them! " old southeastern cry that for his happiness she would ignore everyone. Your wife is not given this feeling openly. You do not need it. The third sex I saw her then Mother of her children so much mother is no longer a woman this is I told myself a different sex this is something else third we are not given to know I want to repeat it very slowly to get used to Now she is a mother of her children Now she is mother of children to a husband, because they will both be orphans with a living mother. Woe to them! " old southeastern cry The third sex I saw her then Mother of her children so much mother is no longer a woman this is I told myself a different sex this is something else third we are not given to know I want to repeat it very slowly to get used to Now she is a mother of her children Now she is mother of her children Now a cone and a bee is a mother beehive hive of her children "... so the lover wakes up orphaned when his beloved guesses another man for his and the peoples family. Oh, hard then the lover, but twice as hard to a husband, because they will both be orphans with a living mother. Woe to them! " old southeastern cry The third sex I saw her then Mother of her children so much mother is no longer a woman this is I told myself a different sex this is something else third we are not given to know I want to repeat it very slowly to get used to Now she is a mother of her children Now she is mother of her children Now a cone and a bee is a mother beehive hive of her children "... so the lover wakes up orphaned when his beloved guesses another man for his and the peoples family. Oh, hard then the lover, but twice as hard to a husband, because they will both be orphans with a living mother. Woe to them! " old southeastern cry when his beloved recognized another man as his own and peoples of the family. Oh, hard on the lover then, but twice as hard on the husband, because they will both be orphans with a living mother. Woe to them! "An old southeastern cry when his beloved recognized another man as his own and peoples of the family. Oh, hard on the lover then, but twice as hard on the husband, because they will both be orphans with a living mother. Woe to them! "An old southeastern cry

   To the author: Tell me how things are now, what happened to the child, how does he tolerate things, what happened to your ex? I am M at 31 and I am in almost the same situation: We live together, we have been in a relationship for 10 years with a 4 year old boy, suddenly, a year and a half ago, he started to have hostility towards me, coldness, almost no sex, wanting separation, already she didn't love me as before and couldn't live like that, there was no other, she couldn't live like that, nothing that admits that I'm good and caring, etc. And I, like you, clean, provide dinner, behave well, look after the child more than her / something recognized by all /, but at the slightest occasion she wants to separate, she is angry, for example, that I asked her to say something. But he is not absent from home, only at work, we hear each other often ... The child is very attached to me and it hurts me a lot, like you, to experience these negative things, but I live day by day,

   Dude, I'm the author, to be honest, I don't know where to start. I feel your pain and I know what it's like when a woman starts behaving like that. I don't know you, but I think you're a decent person. It is very difficult that your wife behaves like that and you are actually going to a final separation. Although he is not away from home, there may be an affair at work, it is possible that the lover (if any) is married and does not have the opportunity to see much, but if a woman starts behaving as described, things are almost always they end in separation, and in most cases another man is involved. All that is required of you now is patience and composure, but do not press her, do not fall in love with her, do not behave like a needy person, be a man, stay in position and do not allow yourself to be crushed! I don't know the history of your relationship and how deep it is, but I know that if a woman begins to cheat on a man, then for her he has ended up as a man. Don't treat her badly, don't let the pain cloud your consciousness and don't let it involve you in scandals! Take care of your child, give him some time and if he really doesn't want to be with you, don't bother. I know it hurts, I know your child is the big loser from your eventual separation, but if there is no other way, it will be the lesser evil and a chance to build your life better. Don't stop being a good father, on the contrary, concentrate on it, take care of your child and be strong. It is clear that this way of life and your relationship cannot continue like this indefinitely. There comes a time when you will have to put things either and / or. You are a young person, you have to think about yourself. Do not rush to look for another woman at the moment, try to gather your thoughts, but do not despair. Do what you have to do, whatever the sword shows. There will come a time when you will sit with her and put the cards on the table, she can't play you indefinitely. But… if she's cheated on you or she's in a parallel relationship right now, I'm telling you that 95% means the end of your family. When a woman cheats, the family almost never survives. Even if he stays with you, it will not be out of love, but rather out of regret, financial dependence, lack of home or he will just conscientiously cause his child pain. And believe me, children experience it quite hard. At first I do not advise you to do anything radical, just calm down. Talk to her calmly, without nerves, emotions and tension. I would advise you to try family therapy with a good family counselor. If no other man is involved, this would give good results and it is very possible to save your family. It is quite possible that your relationship has simply looped over time, maybe there is a lack of emotions, diversity, boredom and monotony may have settled in your relationship. And women want emotional experiences, they want thrills, excitement, they want understanding, it is important for women to share, to be heard, to feel understood and supported. Women want to share, but they don't want the man next to them to offer them solutions to the shared problems, they just want to be heard and comforted, to feel sympathy! Today, young people do not know how to build full-fledged relationships for a number of reasons, on which I will not write now. As for me, we divorced almost 4 years ago! The child stayed with her, although I take him quite regularly, every week, sometimes for weeks, with her we managed to agree on what is good. By the way, what can I tell you, my ex-wife stumbled on a mess, driven by commercial purposes. Today she lives with him, they have no children and no marriage yet, but she managed to tie him up because he sold her apartment, and she took out a loan and bought a larger and more luxurious apartment together. It sounds rough and material, but it's true. After she left, there were hard months of loneliness, pain and bitterness. I drowned my grief in alcohol, I started going out with women… .. However, I saw my child, and often, we are with her in neighboring neighborhoods, and his kindergarten is next to my block and I saw him quite often, I took him regularly, even if not sleeping with me I took it from the garden and we spent an hour or two together while she passed the car after work. Otherwise, he stays with me every week from Friday to Sunday evening, sometimes until Monday. He also sleeps with me for at least one day during the week. We are also together during the holidays, usually at Christmas she is with me, on New Year's Eve with her, 2 days at Easter she is also with me, in the summer we go to the sea together, the spring vacation, the winter vacation for ten days. In general, not only did I not leave my child, but I take even more care of him, we go to the movies, the circus, the mountains, the sea, for walks, etc. together. We play at home, outside and we have created a strong father-son relationship. I give his mother every month according to the appropriate support and I buy him different things without pampering him, because after a divorce, the children start manipulating the word "I want" and "buy me". Now his school is not far, I take him sometimes, it is true that she does, but on Friday he is with me again until Sunday and we will spend the weekend together. Yes, it's hard, my son asked me for a long time "why don't you get together with mom"? and I'm sure he's still dreaming about it, it's nice to be together at various events, birthdays, name days, first day of school, various sands in the garden and now at school. We make his birthdays in children's clubs, we invite friends, we generally ended our relationship as a man and a woman, but we did not stop being parents and so over time the child got used to it or not. Although I experienced everything quite hard, I regained consciousness and today I have a wonderful woman with whom we are planning a wedding and children. I didn't have a serious relationship for 2 years, women passed away, but nothing serious happened to anyone, I drank a lot of alcohol… .. Then I got on my feet and the bad went away. Today I am a wanted man by a lot of women, in time my self-esteem returned, I started to feel good, liked, cool, I am constantly taken down by beauties, which I had never thought I could have before. My ex-wife today looks like an average aunt, she is quite fat, she has grown old and there is no memory of the pretty girl I once fell in love with. For me, on the other hand, I became quite wanted, I felt free, I took myself in my arms, about a year after the separation we reduced and almost stopped drinking, I stopped with the unforgettable drinking with friends. My current lover and I have been together for 2 years, and although it was difficult for us because of my bitter experience, I no longer want to hear about another woman. Things will work out for you too, if you are a believer, pray that God will work out the way that is best for you. If you can take custody of the child, but remember that whichever one you have, he or she will need both parents, so let him or her see a particle. And if she gets custody, try to take it regularly, play with it, do men's things together. It's good to have a son, because it's a little more complicated with girls.

   45, I'm the author again, I would give you advice on how to more easily find out if someone else is involved, but let's assume that this is still not the case.

   Thank you for the comprehensive answer. You can give me advice on how to find out if there is another. Otherwise, I am very happy that you are already well and you look good, that the child is better, because when I read this I was crying about stuttering and I imagined / introduced myself. This is what happens - women often lose their beauty at the age of 40, while we men can at the age of 60. to be fine, and I'm two years younger than her, weaker and quite young, I have no problem catching a lot younger than me, but if we break up, I won't have much desire for relationships, because we've been together for almost ten years and I'm exhausted. Did your ex tell you the reason for those events and her actions, did she ever say she was sorry, and did the new one say what she was like compared to you? My situation is similar to yours, but not exactly. I'm not sure if there is another (anything is possible), because she is prone to depression, and she is reluctant to work, even often she does not want to deal with her own child, she shouts at him and wonders how to get rid of him. Two days ago I told her that since I'm a problem for her, I go out if she wants to. Then she softened, but continued to stumble for no apparent reason. He has no desire for anything, but believes that there is no problem with nerves and depression. He says he makes an effort for us, but it seems to me that he only demands and I make compromises. I am the only man in her life, she is almost asexual, the first time and she was over 20 years old. with me. She has no financial dependence on me, we earn almost the same, I live in her apartment, although I have my own. She tells me about everything on a daily basis, but she finds it difficult to show her emotions, she is a bit tempered and always in a scandal with everyone. My problem is that he doesn't take good care of his child - he shouts at him, sometimes he reaches out to him, forgets to give him medicine, rarely cooks for him, but this can only be seen at home and I cannot prove it in court. Meaning I'm sorry to leave it with her, I prefer to suffer.

   I do not know what to advise the author, but I hope you comment on my situation. My husband and I have been a family for 11 years. we have 2 children, things haven't been going well in every way for a while, but somehow I resigned myself until one night he came home and said he wanted to talk after the kids fell asleep. Then he told me that he had been in a relationship for 2 years, and I couldn't believe it, I was so shocked that I wanted evidence and he gave it to me, he said that he couldn't stand it anymore, it bothered him so much that he lied to me and so, there was no regret. . After a sleepless night in the morning I asked him what we were going to do and he told me he didn't know. In the evening he came home and said that he had ended his relationship with another woman on the phone. We talked many times and decided to go to therapy, he said he didn't feel wanted and that's why it happened so he made some gestures I didn't appreciate them, I was completely devoted to the children .... I don't know what to do, I want to give him another chance, but it hurts a lot. We were never jealous of me or me, I just thought that such a thing could not happen to me and all the symptoms were obvious. I tightened up because he told me he didn't want to go back and I stopped questioning him, but he didn't make an effort for our marriage or not what I wanted. It turns out that it's harder for him again than for me. I don't know if I expect a lot or he just decided that I have already forgiven him and everything is fine. People tell me how you think there is an option to fix things or to think about divorce. nor did I just think that such a thing could not happen to me and all the symptoms were obvious. I tightened up because he told me he didn't want to go back and I stopped questioning him, but he didn't make an effort for our marriage or whatever I wanted. It turns out that it's harder for him again than for me. I don't know if I expect a lot or he just decided that I have already forgiven him and everything is fine. People tell me how you think there is an option to fix things or to think about divorce. nor did I just think that such a thing could not happen to me and all the symptoms were obvious. I tightened up because he told me he didn't want to go back and I stopped questioning him, but he didn't make an effort for our marriage or not what I wanted. It turns out that it's harder for him again than for me. I don't know if I expect a lot or he just decided that I have already forgiven him and everything is fine. People tell me how you think there is an option to fix things or to think about divorce.

   I am the author. 49, seek help from a family therapist! When it comes to infidelity on his part, then you have contributed to it. Women give birth, you forget about men, you forget that a man needs sex, kind words and everything else. Then a woman appears who makes him feel wanted, significant, etc. Once he has broken off the relationship with the other and wants to keep his family, give him a chance. Statistics show that about 35% of marriages in which the man cheats survive. When a woman cheats, only 2-5% of such families survive. With a successful therapy, your problems will come out, the important thing now is not to tease him. 48, Well, to find out if anyone else is involved, just be observant without pretending to suspect anything. Observant, not suspicious! How can I tell you, trust your intuition, for a long time I refused to open my eyes and for 3 months I kept saying to myself: "No, it can't be, she's not like that". The latter was said by many men before their eyes were opened. Just because you're her first man doesn't mean she doesn't have a tendency to cheat. By the way, write something about the history of her family. If her parents are divorced, it is very likely that she has grown up in a deficit, that there is no family model to follow, that she is unable to build healthy relationships simply because she did not have a good example. From what you write about her, it is clear that she definitely has a problem and a visit to a good family therapist-psychologist can help her start a change. The role of the psychologist is not to solve your problem, but to point it out to you, because we all carry traumas from the earliest childhood, we tend to repeat our parents' mistakes, or we just can't shake off some past experiences that are bothering us. The reason is that we often do not even realize our traumas and how they hinder us. You say asexual, I find it hard to believe that there are such women, maybe she just really has no feelings for you, maybe she stayed with you, afraid of loneliness, maybe you were just quite insistent, I don't know. Watch if she hides her phone, if she hides her Facebook, Skype. It's a little sneaky, but if you have suspicions while she's in the bathroom, you can check her phone, who she called, who called her, whether she deleted incoming, outgoing calls, see the text messages! Ask her in a calm tone how her day went. Women often betray themselves, no matter how skilled they are at covering their tracks. They often talk about a man a little more. You say, that she does not go out, which leads me to think that there may be no one else, but it is possible that she is only attracted to someone, she may feel attracted to another without even the man concerned. When a woman falls in love she becomes like a fool, she is carried away, her body is with you, but her spirit is elsewhere, she abandons all household chores and child care, she stops caring, she is irritable, she makes scandals out of nothing, but of course if she is simple such… .. When a woman is attracted to another man, even your presence irritates her, she begins to refuse any communication. Maybe you need to change something in your behavior, maybe it has accumulated some tension over time due to dissatisfaction in your relationship. When a woman cools down to her husband, she is especially vulnerable, and if a man appears who goes under her skin and touches her soul, purely emotionally, she has no resistance and reaches the bed with him. Then, often the new one after the hammer, he runs away because he does not deal with a woman with a child, and she remains injured, deceived and even more unhappy. Some women cheat on their spouses for years, change lovers, there are those who do not have the courage to divorce (separate) because they are afraid for the child, while others meet men who only want sex and remain disappointed. By the way, what is your sex life, before and now, how often do you have sex with her. You say you hardly have sex, but since when? So, I used to have a lot of sex with my ex-wife, and when the affair started, it suddenly decreased, and then it finally stopped. In any case, her behavior is not normal, your relationship is in a serious crisis and you can't drive it like that forever. You say that you prefer to suffer over the alternative of the child suffering, but you too will not endure this hell forever. You are a young man, if you want to be purely sexual, you will accumulate tension, you also become vulnerable. You are patient now, but in time you will start looking for a woman. Many women never realize that sex is vital for a man, almost like food and water. If you live in forced abstinence, you will ruin your nerves. Now concentrate on the child, sooner or later everything will become clear, your paths may diverge, whatever may be the lesser evil. Growing up in scandals in a fake family is also not a good prospect for the child. Many women never realize that sex is vital for a man, almost like food and water. If you live in forced abstinence, you will ruin your nerves. Now concentrate on the child, sooner or later everything will become clear, your paths may part, whatever may be the lesser evil. Growing up in scandals in a fake family is also not a good prospect for the child. Many women never realize that sex for a man is vital, almost like food and water. If you live in forced abstinence, you will ruin your nerves. Now concentrate on the child, sooner or later everything will become clear, your paths may part, whatever may be the lesser evil. Growing up in scandals in a fake family is also not a good prospect for the child.

   Author, thank you, your opinion is very useful to me. She doesn't go out anywhere, she doesn't hide her Skype and phone, she doesn't talk about a man anymore, she has always been passive, she tries to lie down and do nothing more. But I also doubt he has an emotional passion, I don't know. She is really asexual, we have been together for 10 years, and only the first two, everything was on level, then it decreased, and almost stopped, she said that in the past she raped for it, she could live without sex, I always I tried and I asked her what she wants and what she likes, unlike her. Even when we were boyfriends in the beginning, he didn't show much interest in sex, he didn't talk about it. Her parents are together. I already think that something is wrong with her on a mental and neurological level. She had undiagnosed ailments and an ambulance, doctors and found nothing, and this has been the case for years.