I've had a girlfriend for many years, we've known each other since we were young kids - since 2004. My boyfriend was three and a half years old. Absolutely the only woman in my life, I never looked at her. The bad news is, I'm obsessed, I'm not very jealous, but I'm an emotional and sensitive person, easily wounded from the inside. So, at the end of 2015/early 2016, when our love affair began, I was a little more retracted precisely because of the fear of falling in love and ruining the friendship of all from above. She was also very obsessive, but I liked it because I couldn't be smothered by someone I love/like, I'm very affectionate. I said the same thing. She enjoyed our daily meetings, weekends together, cooking together when we weren't eating out, exercising together. After lectures every day together. I didn't stop her from dating friends or her. Although most of our friends are in common, we dated mainly together. And this year, the tremors in our relationship began out of nowhere. She was nervous about any contact with me - she didn't want kisses, hugs, cameo sex, and she used to be very cuddly as she was called, much more so than I was. I was trying to help, but I was just going to fight back. It hurt, but I was gritting my teeth. She repeatedly suggested to me that we were suffocating, that we were becoming toxic to each other (a great irony, as we rarely quarreled, but apparently her problem was a lot of time spent together). But he didn't want us to split up. I'm not a psychopath who follows her phones, things, because that's not normal, secondly, it won't stop someone wanting to cheat on you, even encourage it even more! We rarely saw each other, I missed her more and more, but I loved her even more. In the end, I just exposed it. How did it happen? They told me! A friend caught her in a particular pizzeria, not in Student, but quite popular, with another holding hand, kissing on the mouth and giggling. He took a picture of them! That's why I know he's not lying. I freaked out, but I still decided to keep my composure temporarily. In the evening, I stalked her for the phone password, as she was always cold to me all night, just "we weaved" together. When I fell asleep, I took it and felt guilty, but I walked in. He cheated on me and seemed to have feelings for him! He was in the apps everywhere, just without FB and Instagram, because she had shared the whole story with me and that it didn't go, but she didn't know how to end it. And she didn't want to hurt me. If you'd told me that, it would have hurt a lot less. But as I read a few stories here, I must be the bad guy who dumped her. And I was thinking about saving my relationship all the time! I woke her up with a scandal, showed her the picture, the chats, I asked for an explanation! She broke down in tears and said she just felt suffocated from everywhere, that she thought she was ready for a serious relationship, but she didn't! She's pretty early, wow. I was the perfect inner and outward man, with many common interests, goals and themes, but she could not tolerate seeing each other on a daily basis, we had "raped" our relationship from everywhere. And she was crying again and begging me not to hate her. I collapsed in front of her, too. And finally, she chose the breakup, with the agreement not to pretend to be strangers. I was shaking all over. It's been months with the other one, it's just sex, they haven't matched up, and she's finally left him. We didn't see each other, we kept social media, but we didn't communicate, she just happy my birthday on July 19. And nothing. Until the beginning of this month. I admit I still have feelings, but the betrayal is greater, the pain of it. I didn't want to. She wrote to me and asked me for forgiveness, that she had made the biggest mistake of her life by missing me, she wanted me back and she would do anything for me. She'd kill, kill herself. I don't believe it anymore. But I love her. And I started to think I had real guilt - whether I was obsessive, annoying, toxic. I would write every day, every day I went to see her. We were everywhere together. But she wanted it, too, then changed her mind! And how in years to come she wouldn't know she didn't want a relationship like that. I don't know. My sister says I'm not at fault for her k*rvean act. And if it was my fault, why didn't you tell me? And I had to find out? Besides, how fast did she get around with the other guy? I don't know. I'm confused, I'm terrified. Help, people! If you'd just told me she wanted more privacy, she'd have gotten it right away. But I lived a lie. Besides, I've never made a scene. I don't know. My mother liked her very much, but she said she was wrong. My friends are explicitly on my side. My dad said I'm like a sticky man when I'm in love and just teach me that. Everyone disagrees.
1
nkkol answered · June 13, 2020
Infidelity is always justified.
2
laniaxgivesxhead answered · June 13, 2020
That's a very low-key thing on her part, don't take her back. If he didn't like you and wanted to be with someone else, he could just tell you. That you were sticky is not an excuse, it would have been an excuse if you had beaten her, threatened her and so on, and she was afraid to break up with you. She's got a value system, and she's not going to magically develop it in the future. He's going to do your tricks again. What kind of person is a completely separate question, and it's no reason to lie to you. I can't take responsibility for my actions. It's not enough that she cheated on you, but you're also guilty. But the minute you get her sure she's going to start with the again. Cut it off.
Woman 30 years old.
3
subiguy2001 answered · June 13, 2020
I'm a woman, but I support you 100%. You've gone too far and you're not obsessive, you can be more than sure. You've just demonstrated a real love-in behavior that there's nothing wrong with, and the ex has enjoyed it since she's been with you all these years, and on the same wave (affectionately).
I'm sorry to tell you this, but she's probably tired of it, or the other guy's tricked her, or she's just a stupid c***, an unappreciated treasure like you. A lot of options and all bad ones, but try not to worry. Think real - she doesn't deserve you, she doesn't deserve to be struggling for her. It's light years below your level.
Instead of suffering, look after a new girl. I know you don't want to, it's just the "heroine" of your story, but it's worth a shot. You're going to like it, at least a little bit. Then whatever happens, but just don't be a male k***a and hurt other girls in an attempt to heal your pain. Good luck, dear boy!
4
crazy_couples21 answered · June 13, 2020
Okay, you'il take it... And how long before that? Until he finds the next "error." The next "sex only"...
I think you can waste your time in much better ways than this...
5
mia_queen7 answered · June 13, 2020
I'il tell you one thing. Once you cheat again, you're going to do it again, and you're lucky you don't have a kid... and it's a... And
6
abigail_luv answered · June 13, 2020
That's how it grows- you get by your most loved ones and you learn the lessons of life the hard way. For me, you have two paths - one - the right one is to move on with your life without her. The other, the convenient one, is to compromise with yourself. She'il say anything you want to hear, and internally she'il be glad she manipulated you and got what she wanted again. It'il never be like before, he'il use you as a trash can until someone new comes along to put your horns on. Unlike love, self-esteem has been with you all your life. Why are you giving up on him for the sake of someone who doesn't deserve you?
7
cassie0pia answered · June 14, 2020
Definitely, if you're a man with a capital "M" you're going to stop contacting this little man, that's the mega inferior act.
I want to tell you one-- if you love a real person, you'd never get in your mind to go to bed with someone else.
For me, she wants to be with you because she doesn't want to be alone, she wants to be alone, she's lonely, and she has a sense of guilt, but that doesn't justify it.
And another, and getting together will no longer be the same, slow agony, mistrust and separation again, and time does not return
Personally, I wouldn't accept the fact that a man who cheated on me could proudly call himself the mother of our children.
8
lady_sdi answered · June 14, 2020
Your father may be right. That doesn't excuse her, though. Here are two truths instead of one. You have to look ahead. Can you be with her again without blaming her? Do you love her so much that you can forgive her? But even if you did, would it never happen again? I know a place where they condemn infidelity and promote virtues in man and fidelity. Why don't you go to church together?! Evangelical. Success.
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idfwudfwm answered · June 14, 2020
Your relationship with her is already past, accept it, understand it - this woman is a part of the past, let her stay there. Don't make the mistake of letting her go back into your life. You're just going to give her carte blanche to keep cheating and show you're weak. Cut it off permanently: full iggy, no phones, no social networks, no joint ventures, gifts, photos, nothing that reminds you of her. Broken no one is the same as before, the trust lost once does not return. Stop thinking and look for guilt within yourself. But draw a conclusion about future relationships - be more moderate, don't do your best, leave it and yourself a personal space, don't be sticky, as your father said.
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scarlett_bon answered · June 15, 2020
You, maybe you're obsessed, you must be. But justifying what she did is insane. But women are like that, they tell you that you're great, that you're the only one, that nothing will separate you - that's what I've been told regularly - but you're actually just a part of their lives until something better falls apart. And in fact, there will always be something better she will want.
Women want what they can't have. Otherwise, they just find someone to regret and not be alone, but that doesn't mean they love it. Don't be fooled into saying that the things you've done, even sex, are indicative of the fact that she was very happy. They cover up so well that when you're in love and in your mind, it doesn't pass that you think elsewhere, and on the other occasions, she's really thinking about someone else.
I'm giving you an example from today. I walk into a restaurant to get a takeaway and sit and click on my phone until the food is ready.
I usually like women, I look relatively good and dare I say that I like myself a lot, so they always look at me. So there's a family, a man and a woman with their child. The woman was all smiles as they opted for a table, looking happy as they say. Until they got to my table and sat next door. And I started to watch from the sidelines.It became super cold, did not talk, ordered anything and the man wondered why. And the reason was just that he saw me and wondered how to make any contact with me. He started looking at me doing my hair, my clothes. He stopped talking to him and the child. How do you think her husband feels, how to explain what this abrupt change is in seconds in her behavior.
And I'm like, watch him not suspect anything, and she's with a child who doesn't get in her way at all.
So you're not the only one, and you're not the only one in the relationship. Only in any way does you make the mistake of taking it back, because you will be left without dignity. If you put her back, be ready for an even bigger portion of cheating, because no matter how much we talk once, there's no way there won't be a second time.
Work on yourself, don't try to change women. That's what they're at stake by nature. They are monogamous, the instinct for something better for them always works and will not think about acting if there is a chance.
11
jack__and__rouse answered · June 15, 2020
Don't do this shit!
Push the cobra and never look back!
How many more "biggest mistakes in life" she's going to have to make before she's in the world, if you know...
12
natyromerox1 answered · June 15, 2020
Give another ;) Success
13
sirstrokington93 answered · June 16, 2020
Sometimes I wonder how it is possible to have mollusks like the author. He idealized someone like she was the only woman on the planet, and she put it on with someone else. If she cheated on you, it's not for you. Look, the girl may be nice, but it's just not for you. If a woman loves you, you'il never get a foreign dick. Women, unlike us, don't cheat if they love a man. She just didn't love you enough, and that's what happened. Don't blame her, don't be mad at her, let everyone keep their way. Take a lesson from the case and see where you're mistaken for something like this to happen to you. You'il be fine.
14
kevkevishere answered · June 16, 2020
Maybe she's alone, and I'm trying. For guilt and cheating , I think there may be in a family , long together , you are sick of each other , and you have no care for each other . And that 2-3 years with someone you get tired of and want to *** with someone else, I don't understand. You take it, she'il still want diversity....
15
hotwheeler answered · June 16, 2020
Your father's the right one.
As for taking her back... complete absurdity . It won't be any different. It's going to be worse. Broken and glued pot is worse than the new one. And yours is on salt
16
andrea_kawaii answered · June 17, 2020
Well, it's annoying from a moment on, to be glued like Patafil and Philopate. Besides, she's decided that when there's something good, there might be even more. After a while, she saw that she and the other one wouldn't go to heaven, and she decided to go back to the better party. Anyway, there's no point in starting with her again.
17
blondebombshell4u answered · June 17, 2020
I wouldn't forgive a man who cheated on me and treated me like I'm not worth a.
G.25 years
18
serenytydream answered · June 17, 2020
Once a woman leaves, there's no brake. You let go and you don't look back, that's all.
19
bruiser33388 answered · June 18, 2020
Infidelity isn't justified in a case that can be driven by a variety of factors, even your own mate, but in a case it's not justified.
20
farm_mechanic answered · June 18, 2020
Act like a man and get her out of here.
You'il never be happy if you're with her.
You'il stop respecting yourself and you'il always remember it.
Move on.
21
kinkyharryuk answered · June 18, 2020
I think your next relationship with another girl would go down similarly. When one loves too much, the other accidentally exclaims and inadvertently begins to see the other as inferior. This makes him proud to look for new objects. There's always two of them in a relationship. You're guilty, and I told you why. Contrary to most, I think forgiveness is a big deal. If you're chilled by what happened, your relationship could be miraculous with your girl. After all, don't the people we love deserve a second chance? Imagine how majestic it would look in her eyes if you forgave the unforgivable. It's the opposite of why you've been hurt, now from "low" to majestic. Do you have the power to do that? M36
22
nikkiscam answered · June 18, 2020
There is no case where infidelity is justified. Once there's a fact, there's no return.
My pre-made family never understood that. One cheated, the other took it as an occasion and an excuse for degradation and did the same. A clean and low moral ruin remained. The arguments are completely hollow: if X kills a man, it does not justify the theft of Y. They are independent and separate.
So don't look for excuses or forgive. Everyone is responsible for their actions.
23
marcux_772 answered · June 18, 2020
That kind of thing is not forgiven. Now you're hurt, but it's going to take a while and you're going to notice that women have an interest in you, and - if you're still together - you're going to cheat on her. Or you'il start treating her like crap.
In the first case, it's not fair to you - you'd better give yourself a chance to find a normal relationship.
In the second, it's not fair to her - yes, she's been mean to you, but that doesn't make her rubbish as a person - she just stopped loving you.
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50shades_of_wet answered · June 19, 2020
No 22 - I don't know from personal experience if you advise him, but I have already played it, not two, but three times. The result was deplorable, what greats, what five leva! You get a rag and you get that attitude. And the other one does what he wants, and in the end he doesn't care if you forgive him or not.
25
xonicxo answered · June 19, 2020
As your wife, I'm telling you that the lady of your heart doesn't love you. When a woman loves, she doesn't cheat.
Maybe she's tired of it. Or she took you for granted and wanted to diversify. But she went to the other one for a while. That is, It wasn't just sex - she just dumped you.
If you feel like she's the woman of your life and you can forgive her and forget - do it! If it's going to harass you and ruin you - forget it - you're not married with kids to compromise.
Write what you've decided.
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pugovka1 answered · June 19, 2020
I was in your situation until the same time, and I decided to take the man back, we're still together. for a long time there were interrogations, how, why, do I deserve so much that you betrayed me like this, etc. It's a lot of controversy. I didn't forget this brutal infidelity, it was very brutal to me... I cried and i was constantly leaning like you, I was wondering why, and I never answered my questions, and she never answered me meaningfully, but over time I began to forget somehow time healed, but not in general I will always remember this thing it is not forgotten. So my relationship continued even though with a hole there I don't know why I accepted it, but as I mentioned it goes, maybe the love is stronger, i've always had it, and then she'll do it again and it's going to be repeated if I didn't make a mistake constantly asking myself questions, but it turns out that to this day she regrets her mistake and hasn't dared to do something like that and the relationship I've had a lot of this is a factor in this situation. So there's a mistake and there's a fix, but for every person it's different, and that's all you can judge is it worth it. Is she going to fix it, are you going to overwed it because it's so hard. If you ask me even though my choice was that was you, I would advise you the opposite, the world is very big I guess you're young. Find your happiness elsewhere don't look behind, look ahead there is your man waiting for you somewhere... and he's waiting for you, he's not looking for a wine in you, but know that you're great, and in a normal relationship, these things that are normal, as long as I am...
27
chubbycock14 answered · June 19, 2020
I'm going to... you're obsessive. It's not cool like that.
Whether you're going to get it back is your business, but she had the absolute right to breathe some fresh air, which doesn't make her a whore at all, no matter how many teenagers try to convince you of that.