In That Case, Is Infidelity Justified?

The Story

I've had a girlfriend for many years, we've known each other since we were young kids - since 2004. My boyfriend was three and a half years old. Absolutely the only woman in my life, I never looked at her. The bad news is, I'm obsessed, I'm not very jealous, but I'm an emotional and sensitive person, easily wounded from the inside. So, at the end of 2015/early 2016, when our love affair began, I was a little more retracted precisely because of the fear of falling in love and ruining the friendship of all from above. She was also very obsessive, but I liked it because I couldn't be smothered by someone I love/like, I'm very affectionate. I said the same thing. She enjoyed our daily meetings, weekends together, cooking together when we weren't eating out, exercising together. After lectures every day together. I didn't stop her from dating friends or her. Although most of our friends are in common, we dated mainly together. And this year, the tremors in our relationship began out of nowhere. She was nervous about any contact with me - she didn't want kisses, hugs, cameo sex, and she used to be very cuddly as she was called, much more so than I was. I was trying to help, but I was just going to fight back. It hurt, but I was gritting my teeth. She repeatedly suggested to me that we were suffocating, that we were becoming toxic to each other (a great irony, as we rarely quarreled, but apparently her problem was a lot of time spent together). But he didn't want us to split up. I'm not a psychopath who follows her phones, things, because that's not normal, secondly, it won't stop someone wanting to cheat on you, even encourage it even more! We rarely saw each other, I missed her more and more, but I loved her even more. In the end, I just exposed it. How did it happen? They told me! A friend caught her in a particular pizzeria, not in Student, but quite popular, with another holding hand, kissing on the mouth and giggling. He took a picture of them! That's why I know he's not lying. I freaked out, but I still decided to keep my composure temporarily. In the evening, I stalked her for the phone password, as she was always cold to me all night, just "we weaved" together. When I fell asleep, I took it and felt guilty, but I walked in. He cheated on me and seemed to have feelings for him! He was in the apps everywhere, just without FB and Instagram, because she had shared the whole story with me and that it didn't go, but she didn't know how to end it. And she didn't want to hurt me. If you'd told me that, it would have hurt a lot less. But as I read a few stories here, I must be the bad guy who dumped her. And I was thinking about saving my relationship all the time! I woke her up with a scandal, showed her the picture, the chats, I asked for an explanation! She broke down in tears and said she just felt suffocated from everywhere, that she thought she was ready for a serious relationship, but she didn't! She's pretty early, wow. I was the perfect inner and outward man, with many common interests, goals and themes, but she could not tolerate seeing each other on a daily basis, we had "raped" our relationship from everywhere. And she was crying again and begging me not to hate her. I collapsed in front of her, too. And finally, she chose the breakup, with the agreement not to pretend to be strangers. I was shaking all over. It's been months with the other one, it's just sex, they haven't matched up, and she's finally left him. We didn't see each other, we kept social media, but we didn't communicate, she just happy my birthday on July 19. And nothing. Until the beginning of this month. I admit I still have feelings, but the betrayal is greater, the pain of it. I didn't want to. She wrote to me and asked me for forgiveness, that she had made the biggest mistake of her life by missing me, she wanted me back and she would do anything for me. She'd kill, kill herself. I don't believe it anymore. But I love her. And I started to think I had real guilt - whether I was obsessive, annoying, toxic. I would write every day, every day I went to see her. We were everywhere together. But she wanted it, too, then changed her mind! And how in years to come she wouldn't know she didn't want a relationship like that. I don't know. My sister says I'm not at fault for her k*rvean act. And if it was my fault, why didn't you tell me? And I had to find out? Besides, how fast did she get around with the other guy? I don't know. I'm confused, I'm terrified. Help, people! If you'd just told me she wanted more privacy, she'd have gotten it right away. But I lived a lie. Besides, I've never made a scene. I don't know. My mother liked her very much, but she said she was wrong. My friends are explicitly on my side. My dad said I'm like a sticky man when I'm in love and just teach me that. Everyone disagrees.

Last Updated
June 13, 2020
Author:
jenalynaddrenalynn

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