In Love With The Wrong One

Hello, I am a girl of almost 20 years. 2nd year student, I have never lacked male attention and I have always been noticed and liked by men on the spot, but I always fall in love with the most inappropriate men, not least and badly accompanied I have a friend of 2 years more nightmarish in lies. Everyone has told me a great, beautiful girl how I deal with such people in general, considering those who want me and what I am, but destiny. In short, I have no idea how many times I start writing this story and stop, I just don't make sense of what advice you can give me other than to give up, but it weighs on me and I decided to share it with you anyway. I fell in love with the most wrong, more precisely, a man with two children (twins) at 4/5 years. - It is very clear to you that there can never be anything more than just liking between us, that I fell in love every second thought is that he doesn't care about anything else, I'm not like that and I just became a cheerful person, cheerful and lately I'm still sad, curve nothing makes me happy, I can't go out, I don't like clothes, makeup friends - things that used to make me feel good, and now for whom to be beautiful I can laugh, but forcibly it's not happiness and pretense / circus / theater I just do not care the opinion of another I do not learn I do not it's useless, I don't want to see people when he's not among them. I've had a lot of relationships and flirtations, and I'm not "like that" and I'm worried that after this love I won't fall in love again, I haven't believed in men for a long time, I've proven to myself thousands of times that everyone cheats, everyone lies, I hated them all and then all naughty partners, I thought I had become a total misogynist, but I soon fell in love. He likes me as much as I like him, but the fact that he has children I can't be with such a person there is no way he just has his life, and even if he is alone these children they are living beings part of his life something I can't accepts. I'm in love like a kid, like a fool and now I'm unhappy. In short we are acquaintances / friends and neighbors about a year ago moved to live next to us, we have common acquaintances for the new year we were together in one company, but then he was not alone nevertheless looks smiles everything felt for miles avoided looking at me and as you we caught sight as if we were staring and our thoughts seemed to connect (everything was just felt). A few days later we ran into each other in the store and he told me he took me for a boyfriend, that he wasn't kidding such a pretty girl, but I didn't pay attention, I was still married, I thought that on the basis of but then he repeated it and in front of his acquaintance what he told me as I directly said, take me that I will not pull. From there we were together one night we got together and went out, company on the occasion of a birthday, in the evening we kissed he teased me just to fall in love did not stop looking at me touches as I did, but they felt us and told him to stop someone will see us and he didn't care, but I stopped him because I don't want to create problems.

Now I often see him, we greet each other, we look at each other, but that's it. Firstly, there is no convenient moment for someone not to see us, secondly, I don't know, I'm confused, help me, give me advice, I don't want to ruin families, but we want each other, I just want to spend time with him, I'm far from ruining something. I don't want to, but I want to see it. I can wink at him so he knows I'm interested, but I'm afraid I don't want to intrude, I want him to know that I want everything with him, that it wasn't a mistake that night. On the other hand, I know that I'm just tormented, even if he is alone, he has children, I'm young, I can't accept a man with children, he already has a life, there is no way we can be together, I'm afraid I'll always be sick of it, but I can't stop wanting it, I'm in love, I'm confused, I want it, but how? Where is the point, is there a way to approach and agree to be just a mistress, I don't want anything else, I just want time with him, but don't I confuse my life, don't I become attached to a person I can never be with? Won't I just suffer? And yet I want to experience it even temporarily, because it will be real, because I want to, but how? Thanks for your time, sorry for the confusing story, but I feel that way myself. I know that many people may reproach me that he has a family - Yes, but there is a light woman this is not a family, you will call me one I can become a little inferior in this way, but I'm not light I've never been and will not to be. I have reproached many women in my situation, but when it happens, he doesn't ask, I'm not like that - it happens no matter how wrong it is! I am waiting for your opinion and how to continue my relationship with him give me advice :)