I sincerely sympathize with you, I bit my lip a few times in anger. It just doesn't fit my head how such bastards can exist. See, it's worth looking for explanations. He dumps you in a super brutal way, hiding like a mouse. It's not fair, it's not, but fate will give it back to him. I guess how much it hurts you, don't give up and don't be humiliated by looking for an account. You will not receive an answer. If he was a commodity, he wouldn't talk to you like that. Look ahead and that's it!
Your fiancé liked another woman. It's not an honor for him not to be a man, to tell you in plain text and to leave. You also chose a nasty way to clarify things, what is this digging in his messages ?! How do you go to meet him at work, how do you raise scandals like that ?! Don't you have self-esteem? What do you think you will achieve ?! I just can't believe what I'm reading! I'm sorry, but this wasn't the love of your life. Leave him alone, to live the life he wants, and you can only make plans for yourself. Life goes on, good luck!
I understand how difficult it is for you, but believe me it's good! Better that he has now shown how low he is, and not after one or two children !! I, if I was so, would catch my eye that I would never want to hear and see him. Are you looking for an account for him? Leave him and do not expose yourself, have dignity!
There is no scary sooner or later everything comes back.
But people 7 years of cohabitation ... on the 3rd the baby doesn't appear and the wedding things fail and now you will have to start building trust and connection with another again, from the beginning. I just have no words, what have you been waiting for? For 3 years you failed to judge whether it works or not and waited so far to judge whether the 7th was a nice girl? I understand how you feel, you can't breathe! But you do it yourself, wait for 10 years and then start building 10 years again with another, you are not 18 years old to be early ....
It's good when you get to him what. Forgive things and move on. Even rejoice that it happened now and not with 2 children at home and only. Rethink the situation and realize that this is not the person for you. Maybe someone much more aware of him is waiting for you.
Nasty, ugly, disgusting, but common ... Maybe there was alienation before he saw the colleague in question. The problem is not in her, it is not her fault. She could have been a completely different woman with the same success. The point is that he was already ready to sink into another and it was only a matter of time before it happened.
I will join the comments that you acted terribly stupid and were very humiliated. I understand that you love him and you are ruined, but such scenes only harm you. Like nothing now you are crazy, and he is the lucky one who got rid of you.
There is nothing you can do, the relationship was perfect only in your eyes. The very fact that he has gathered his things so quickly and does not want to communicate with you is terribly telling. Apparently, just because he hadn't met another stopped him from breaking up.
It's nasty to say it, but it's naive to have "plans for your whole life", to idealize to infinity, etc. People leave, fall in love with others, whatever happens. Rely mostly on yourself, you are your best friends. In the end, we only have ourselves. This is usually learned the hard way.
You really have to leave him. Neither he nor his explanations are worth it. Platonic or not, he is in love with another woman and that should be enough to end this humiliation. You've been spectacular, but whatever it is, look ahead and don't look for it in the world anymore. You are not on the way to undermining your dignity like that. Be above things, the good is yet to come!
Better now than to be married and have a child. And you have the right to read things to him, so you have lived together, cooked, cleaned, etc., and he does not have the courage to tell you? !! You will feed him, water him, share a bed and a common meal, and he will fly his flag with a colleague. Hey, such men deserve to be like them, to drive them to hell. You've wasted years on one, that's all. When he plays with her, he will start apologizing and roaring. People are very mean creatures, they think that everything goes wrong and is forgotten.
It turned out to be very unpleasant, but you have to accept that nothing in life is certain. One cannot even be sure whether he will still be alive tomorrow.
Accept what is happening with a smile and move forward without looking for an explanation. This just wasn't your man. Apparently all the great plans for the future were only in your head.
You smile, you learn your lesson and you continue to live your life. I am almost 100% convinced that if you suddenly stop looking for him, soon (when the story with the colleague dries up) he will look for you to ask you to take him back. Do not do it. From what you're describing, your friend doesn't look like a man to me. If you forgive him, you will regret it again in the long run.
The world does not suffer from a lack of men, just find another.
I've been through something like this, I know how you feel. My eyes watered as I read. Conclusion: do not trust anyone and do not expect anything from anyone.
He was not punctual to you, but your behavior speaks volumes. You're done, what are you looking for and shouting at him and exposing yourself to people? Many women will stand behind you here, but these same women, when they fall in love, do the same nonsense ... Just because you had plans doesn't mean he shared them. It is not pleasant to live with a person who has decided to build your life in his way - you have paid for both, you work for a better job - these things affect the relationship negatively, because at some point you start to behave as dominant. My advice to you is to turn your back on everything and continue your life.
From the beginning, when describing the situation with you, it seemed to me that there was something very rotten in this man. First, what is this man who lets his wife support him? Don't let a man stand anymore. Most of them are either complicated by the fact that the woman earns more, or it becomes something like a child that his mother supports him. Don't deal with them. I've come across such "suckers", they can't do anything on their own, they expect you to beat them forever and in the end they leave them for another. Look for a person at your level and income !! For the latter, some will condemn me, but every man wants to feel like one, no normal person allows his wife to support him and be his mother. It is one thing to lend him 1-2 times and not huge sums, but it is another to be his mother. Run away from such people, they are not serious and you can see what is happening now. How do you imagine such a person to be the father of your children? One day he will dump you alone with them for the first meeting! She sees his colleague for sure and I don't think she will leave her boyfriend if he is there. Run with 300 of them!
I read 13 comments and I don't understand why no one asks the question whether the author's fiancé was really in love with his colleague or are these some intrusions of the author? Suppose he only sympathized with the colleague in question, he wrote to another colleague some things like how beautiful and similar she is, but this is not infidelity, nor does it mean that he is in love with her. However, after all the fairs organized by the author, especially the one in front of his office and all his colleagues, almost any normal man would smear his skis ... I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, the facts presented in the story are only that the author has read a few lines that may mean nothing, and that she saw them go to work together, which also means nothing in itself.
I think that the author's actions are extremely hasty and wrong in such a situation as her own reaction. He just had to wait a while and see if anything would happen or if they would just be left with a collegial relationship.
I became convinced that at such a moment there are no words to calm a person. And words like, forget it and things like that only complicate things in the beginning. Don't look for it, ignore it, no matter how hard it is! I wish you to quickly forget everything, although such an insult is forgotten !? And most of all to be healthy and everything to be in order.
1 alyssa_royale answered