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Love and affairs

In Love With A Divorced Man

By sexyskarlatta July 07, 2020 4 answers Last updated July 07, 2020

Hi, I'm a 22 year old girl. Single, studying and working. Five months ago I moved to live in an apartment in another neighborhood that is close to my job. It turned out that a man we had known for about 4 years worked next to my apartment. He had a wife and a 4-year-old child. He is 29 years old. Years ago, we were in common company with him, but only up to that point. Since I moved here, we have started to communicate more and more often, because apart from the fact that his work is around, he lives in 1 house from my apartment. Little by little we began to get closer. Quite often I kept him company while he was at work, and I had nothing to do. He told me that he and his wife had separated, that they did not understand each other. She took her child and left for her city. Without wanting to, I started wanting it. It so happened that one evening we again found ourselves in a common company at the disco. We both drank more, then left together. He stayed to sleep at home. Then he kept looking for me sometimes for sex, and sometimes we just sat at his job. The problem is that he is a womanizer. He himself told me that since he broke up with his wife 5 months ago, he has not stopped. He said that he wanted to live, that he had been under a slipper for so many years, because his wife was constantly jealous of him, and that now he wanted to make up for lost years and go hiking. Well, I understand him too, he got married young and now he lives. He has every right to do so and I appreciate that he is honest with me. The problem is that little by little I started to sink into it. I started to be jealous of him if he talked to a girl, I started to follow him ... I didn't show him this in any way, because I knew that he wouldn't respond to my feelings. This lasted for about 2 months. We saw each other almost every day, and every time he told me how sick he was that he couldn't see his child. I gave him some advice as much as I could, I tried to understand him, I calmed him down. During these 2 months he was quite withdrawn, I mean he couldn't relax to tell me everything. The zodiac sign is Capricorn if it matters. At one point I felt so sunken that I literally dreamed of him. I woke up and said to myself that all this must end immediately because, in the end, it will be me who is hurt. I began not to answer him as he wrote to me, to pass him by and pretend not to see him. One night he called me and I decided to pick him up. He told me he was in front of us and wanted me out. I went out, and he asked me why I was doing this, did he insult me ​​with something ... I had a lump stuck in my throat, I wanted to tell him, but I didn't have the courage.

 

I told him there was no problem, that it wasn't his fault, and that I didn't have much time to talk now. Anyway, then we continued to see each other, I just couldn't control myself ... We've been seeing each other for 4 months now, and he doesn't suspect that I have feelings for him. Well, maybe he suspects, but he's not sure. I would say that little by little I started to break the ice in it. Unlike in the beginning, now he shares everything with me. He himself told me that now that he knew me, he knew he could tell me everything. I feel that he and I became friends above all. I recently found myself in a difficult situation, I needed support, and he was one of those who was by my side. He is always sincere, which I adore in him. Even if he doesn't like something, he says it to himself right away. Many people don't like it, but I know it's not what people think it is. He has the appearance of a '' bad boy '', but that's not what I fell in love with.
 
I fell in love with his unique character, the warmth I feel when he is next to me. His appearance and character are in complete contrast - I do not know a better person than him ... There were times when he fell asleep at home, and I can not take my eyes off him. I just look him in the eye and realize how much I adore him. I want to be non-stop with him. I'm so depressed that he was home last night, but he didn't sleep here, he left. I fell asleep, but after about 2 hours I woke up. I dreamed that something bad had happened to him and I was shaking. I almost cried. I wanted to call him, ask him if he was okay, but I realized it was just a dream. I have a feeling I'm going crazy soon, I'm telling you. I don't know what to do - one option is to end everything (which will be very difficult for me), and the other option is to continue to be by his side and hope that he will soon understand that I really care about him. I would very much like to sit down and have a serious conversation with him, to admit absolutely everything to him, because believe me, he doesn't suspect, I'm hiding so well.
 
I just want to tell him that I care about him and that the other women he sleeps with are unlikely to jump at 2 in the morning if he asks them for something. I know some of you will say leave him, but how, as he is a great person? I'm also not convinced that he sees other women, but if he told me he wanted to go, then so be it. In general, I think to move forward, to be his friend, to understand that I am real to him, I do not intend to suffocate him and give him an ultimatum - either we are together or nothing, I want to break as much ice in him and from there from now on, if he is smart enough, he will be with me - the person who cares for him 24/7. He just obviously needs more time, he finds it very difficult to trust in principle and he has very few friends. Give me advice, please ... What should I do?

 

Answers 4

1
11neri answered · July 07, 2020
The only thing I liked about this man was that he cared for his child. Maybe because I can't stand women organically, but also because of his ridiculous explanations that he was a man under a slipper, married without making a living - that who forced him to marry when he didn't make a living, did they put a pistol in his back? The value man takes responsibility for his actions. Now let me tell you seriously what I think - I think he's trying to reunite with his wife, or if he hasn't started he will. No woman can replace his child - no matter how much you care for him, the best mother for his child is his own. I'm not happy to tell you, but I think he only uses you for sex. From now on, you decide if that suits you.
2
onlinejenny answered · July 07, 2020
The fact that he is divorced is not a problem, I also have a divorced father, but he did not have such a fuss, ie he was direct, so did I, we said to each other what we want and feel for each other and now we are inseparable for 3 years, we are also expecting a baby. He is everything to me, I love him so much, he is also very sincere like your man. The best thing for you will be to talk face to face, tell him how you feel and want, let him tell you and that's it, they didn't bother but talk to him!
3
katherin_cruzz answered · July 07, 2020
In other situations, I'm not for the direct approach, but I think in this case your only option is to ask him directly if he wants to be with you seriously or not. You've known each other long enough to wonder and guess. Sit with him and talk. If he starts explaining and justifying, procrastinating, etc., then he really only cares about sex and your company. If he holds on to you, such a conversation, even if it scares him at the moment, will make him clarify your relationship with himself and with you. In my opinion, if you continue to drive it like that, you will suffer a lot later. Because you both give him everything - your time, caresses, tenderness, love, and in return you receive ... nothing. No matter how much you are in love, you don't deserve to be used for venting and sex. Another question is whether it is worthwhile to marry a man with a child, but we are not discussing this here. You decide you want it, so act. Put the cards on the table and see what happens. If it is written, it will happen, if not - you better get rid of it now.
4
kittyromantic answered · July 07, 2020
When we met my husband, such a "man under a slipper" relationship had ended. He lived, slept with many women, saw each other for sex and I was in love like you, but we had agreed - only sex and nothing more, I did not say a word about it. Time passed, I told him that I had feelings and I was tired of this insecurity, he decided that he did not want to lose me. We are now happier than ever and rejoicing in our first child. One day he told me that he was attracted to the peace I give him (and he slept like that in our country) and my patience that I did not give him trouble. So be patient, understand it, don't push it - there are obvious feelings, and things will happen on their own when the time comes. Success!
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