№12 Well, good, if you insist so much that I apologize, maybe I can apologize. But to be even more convincing you can stomp with your foot, even for a safer knock 2 times :-) I just didn't understand what exactly I have to apologize for? It would be nice to explain to me. My words were directed only to the author. If anyone is offended in this case, it must be her! But I don't intend to apologize to her at all. I allowed myself to talk about women in general, because the "drama" of the author is not an isolated case! On the contrary, it is a large-scale and ubiquitous phenomenon! And it always takes place, but always in the following scenario, in which the main protagonist is the woman: • They press men to commit • They take this, what they want from the relationship • They lose interest in sex • They are attracted to someone else • They start cheating • They become angry and resentful • They start telling their partner that they need time to rest • They blame their partner for their behavior ... and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them desperate for infidelity, but usually after a long period of time, they end their relationship or marriage. Two real life examples. 1. My ex-wife. We went together for 2-3 years, great love big thing. She wanted us to get married, I also wanted to but I wasn't in a hurry. Marriage is a serious thing !!! At one point, he started throwing things at me, that is, he started pressuring me to commit. I loved her madly, but I moved him from one leg to the other when she pressed me. I also proposed marriage, only when I was 100% sure it was the man with whom I want to grow old! And I didn't get married as number 17, because "it's time for me to give birth" !!! Then, of course, I carried her in my arms, and she took "what she wants from the relationship." She just pointed with her beautiful little fingers at what she wanted. Then she must be very tired of washing my socks (another eternal drama of women), because in the fourth year of our marriage something got angry (for stupidity, of course), which was expressed in stopping sex. Oops, that was the same as item 3 of the list above! Look what a coincidence :-) All my attempts to talk about this problem met with great understanding. "Now after the birth (a year later!) I don't have sex", "well, it's normal, he has sex for a while (for people aged 32-33!)" ... "was with did you not understand two words that there will be no sex? "Our marriage lasted almost 10 years, of which the last 5-6 almost no sex. Sex was done like a textbook once every 1, 5-2 months, enough not to grumble. And notice I even came to terms with it and stopped I grumble in the name of a good relationship. It never occurred to me in 10 years of marriage to even cheat on her. I was just naughty about not having sex. Time passed and we found a lover. We met, Mr. "Ideal". A former high school classmate A man from another city who is far away, who is getting married and has a child from his first marriage. He is divorcing and marrying again. But he is cheating on his wife, with my Emmy, how come he's not Mr. "The Perfect"? She became very, very angry, she treated me with utter disregard, to our child and to our home. He went on constant "business trips", which were actually love dates in hotels. I then tore my ass off work to provide for my family well above the average standard of living. I later found out that I had actually paid the couple in love for plane tickets to London to watch a rock concert. The work became intolerable and because I found out about these infidelities and her behavior became intolerable, I asked for explanations. The explanations were typically female: "the broken thing doesn't stick, I need to stay alone and find myself, I've become a ball of nerves, it's better for the child" - what can I say, all words from the biggest heights of female philosophical thought! The divorce was a series of compromises I made for her. Mostly material. I only asked for one thing, to have contact with my child whenever I want. Of course, I did not receive this right. With Mr. "ideal" nothing came out, that is, it was a great disappointment and now my ex-wife defends the thesis "he marriage means nothing, it's just a signature"! Do you follow the story! In the beginning, marriage was very important :-) You probably think that this is another "dumb muffin". Well, no, he has several higher educations and works in a senior management position in a large international company. 2. One of my best friends married a young lady. It turned out that they could not have a child and the reason was in her. He sprayed 15-20 thousand on various doctors for in-vitro. A healthy beautiful child was born to them. They had everything - a house, a car, a job ... they didn't suffer from a lack of something. How do you think the story goes? Shortly after their child was born, she moved out. I guess he's guilty. I'm even sure. He must have misunderstood her. You women still have to understand them, and we men can't do that at all. Here it is, and number 13 told me: "What do women long for, men will never understand :)" Abe woman, we do not understand is not scary! Well, we're simpler, we don't get it. Happens. The bad thing is that as I look, you don't seem to understand it! Now what was I writing all this about? Ahhh yes, I had to apologize. 1. Because I was born of a woman and for this reason I have no right to criticize women. This in itself is a pinnacle of women's philosophical thought and, in my opinion, should be studied in textbooks. I have nothing more to add :-) 2. Because most women are holy water, and only 1 in 1,000, even one in 1 million, is a piece that methodically and purposefully ruins their marriage, the happiness of their husbands and children, and probably their own happiness. Like my ex-wife. Or like my friend's wife. Or like the author .... Emmy yes, I'm wrong. I have to apologize. There is no such thing as divorce, and three-quarters of marriages do not end in divorce until the age of ten. But even then, women are not to blame. They never divorce for no reason, they always have a reason, my dear :-) Okay, I'll apologize. I apologize most officially for my words! I am not right to put all women under a common denominator. But I do not apologize to you or the author! I apologize to №15 who seems to be a smart woman. And I was wrong to put it in the common pot. Strange why, but I think that it was she who would not feel offended by my words, because she understood that they did not apply to her. And yet, if I have offended you number 15, please forgive me. T.N.
1 sarahjadore answered
Don't act hastily. I don't know how long your relationship has been, but if this person really loves you, he will be waiting for you! It's nice to fall in love, great feeling. Don't blame yourself, it can happen to anyone. That doesn't make you a less good mother. Look at the situation from a distance and from different angles. Do not rush and be guided by intuition and most of all make the decisions yourself, not because someone has pressed you.