Hello, everyone! My story has been going on for a lifetime and, call me stupid, but I don't know how to change things. I'm an 18-year-old girl, I still live with my parents, but there is one detail. Our grandmother / me and my sister / live with us, we are on different floors. I don't know why, but she never loved me. As a child, she manipulated me quite successfully, but over time, and because I grew up, I stopped being attached to her. From that moment on, she keeps nagging at something, finds flaws in me, distorts my words whenever possible. On the other hand, he adores my sister. Basically, I swallowed it, but the thing is, for several years now, she's been trying to create intrigue between me and my parents, and between me and my sister. And the worst part is that he succeeds. It's weird really, but it's a fact. I don't want to go into detailed - just things like, "He said ...", "She said ...". You guessed it, it creates a hell of a lot of tension. About a year ago, I refused to give her pleasure in the eternal quarrels in our family and stopped talking to her. During this time, as I later learned from my sister, she played the role of the unjust and constantly wondered why I was doing so. However, I think it was clear to everyone. This year has passed and I, the fool, have decided that I have learned a lesson. We renewed our relationship. In the beginning, everything was fine, except for the periodic warnings from my father (he is her son) that I would be sorry. I didn't listen to him, thinking I was doing the right thing, we're one blood after all. But here, only two months later, the old story began. He even started to keep track of what I was buying, how much it costs, how much money ours and so on give me. I got angry (which I'm sorry about now) and told her not to get involved in something that didn't affect her, as she used to do. I guess it was this line that infuriated her even more. We fought. In the end, she told me that I was nobody to her, and I said that I had never been "any", but I didn't care at all. Yes, but I am conscientious. Firstly, that he is a relative of mine and secondly - out of malice he will surely turn everyone against me, and the intrigues will continue at full steam. What to do I really don't know how to balance things so that everyone is happy and there are no more such ridiculous quarrels. At the same time, I would not want to be manipulated by her, as she was in my childhood. It's just ... I can't find the "golden mean" and it bothers me a lot. It will be useful for me, I suppose, to get advice from you.
1 NicolFontaine answered
You can hardly change people, especially those of your grandmother's age, and especially if they do not want to change themselves. Grandpa, I guess, you don't have - either he didn't survive and ran away, or he didn't survive and he died ... that's why your grandmother deals with you and you. Just get out of this game! You can't please everyone - this is a previously lost, impossible and useless cause (gradually in your life you will understand it). Stop being attached to her and rather look at her as an old and (mentally) sick person who needs understanding and (sometimes) compassion. From a biological point of view, you may be "one blood," but from a spiritual point of view, you probably have nothing in common. Stop dealing with it unless you feel some masochistic need for the whole drama. I think that a young girl your age has far more interesting and exciting things in her life to experience and discover than to deal with her evil grandmother-intriguer. Moreover, your father is on your side, "he sucked her potpourri" for many years, he knows what kind of goods he is, and he would not reproach you. Keep your head up! Good luck, and in your next comment let's read how your grandmother pees gas in her own fire, and you enjoy life away from her company ... Ray