Last night I found out I was pregnant. Our son is 1 year old. and 4 months, and I just turned 29 years old. Everything is fine at home, we have no financial problems, I have help from the grandmothers when I ask them. But I am afraid. After giving birth to our son, I had a terrible postpartum depression. It was caused by the fact that I failed to finish my higher education, I have 1 year left. I felt like a simple woman, I constantly think that I will not achieve anything and my child will not be proud of me. I also became insanely jealous. I did not leave the child. We hadn't separated for 10 months, I didn't trust anyone. Then I stopped him and maybe the hormones came into place and calmed down. I started to leave it for a day with a grandmother, we went on vacation only with my husband. I enrolled in a driving course, started playing sports regularly, found a suitable private nursery and decided to enroll in university again this fall. And I even enrolled in a language school in October. Now that I know I'm pregnant, I don't think I'm going to make it. I don't think I'll be able to finish again. I can't be happy. I feel like I'm just starting to live for myself. By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mother to be inactive, but that is exactly how I feel about sacrificing myself. I have examples in my life of parents who accuse their children of not achieving something ... And I don't want to be one of them. Even right now, my emotions are harmful. I don't know what to do. My husband is very happy, very much. In addition, we have been hearing for 4 years that I have clogged fallopian tubes and it is impossible for me to get pregnant. I first got pregnant 3 months before the in vitro date. After I gave birth, I was told that my pregnancy was a miracle, one in a million, and I was unlikely to get pregnant normally again. BLA blah, here I am pregnant again. On the other hand, I should not ignore the fact that I really may not have another chance. And I want more children, I just want to finish, to have achieved something for myself. I am very confused. I have the feeling that in 3 years it will be too late to realize myself professionally. It may be nonsense, it may somehow manage to end up pregnant if the little one goes to the nursery, I don't know. It seems crazy to me ...
1 connorward answered
Life rarely goes according to our plans. Enjoy the "miracle", the rest will only be sorted out. And if you really want to achieve something, it will happen with hard work and perseverance, even though it will be at a later stage. In addition, things may not develop as in your first pregnancy and go much easier. (And you already have experience and you know that difficult periods are over).