I am 17 years old. A year ago I broke up with my friend on my own initiative and the sadness, guilt, the fact that I miss him do not go away. I keep thinking about how I made a mistake, how guilty I was of hurting him, of not behaving properly with him, of not appreciating him when I had to. Apart from maybe a month I'm depressed - I just lie down, I have no motivation for anything, I don't find meaning in anything. I feel really awful because I feel like I'm a burden to everyone, that I burden everyone and that I don't deserve to be loved. I'm not talking about my condition with friends, because I don't want to flood them with despair, literally the despair I'm in. I can't tell my mother either, because she works abroad and I just don't want to bother her unnecessarily. I just wanted to get out of the hole I'm in, but I don't know how,