Hello, Happy New Year! I am writing here for the first time, although I have read a lot. I'm F 26. Where do I start so you have some idea though. In short, as a child I had a terrible childhood. Ours divorced and my brother and I stayed with my mother and her lover. We were abused and insulted by both of them every day. With fractures, bruises and so on. At school they made fun of me. I have attempted suicide several times. (e pills, next to the train, etc.) I lived in a nightmare. I was 16 when I caught my first boyfriend. Q. He was just the first person to be nice to me. However, he was of Turkish descent and of course my mother did not like him. (But even if he wasn't, I wouldn't like him) We were in the same school with him. He was nice, but he didn't seem to love me. I fell madly in love. I couldn't eat, I could only sleep, I thought about him. But he didn't want anything serious, he was a whore. This more or less repulsed me, but I was already sunk. He told me that I would meet someone who would love me. I was a child then at 17 and I decided he just wanted sex and so he cut me off. He comes home to see me and we push each other, but he doesn't want to get involved and be considered boyfriends, so that he doesn't lose some of the girls. I was afraid he would be my first because I was madly in love. However, after that, he continued to look for something new. He came late at night just for sex ... horror. I cried a lot, I suffered, I was at war with my mother because he was not for me and he beat me every day. At this point, I thought it was worth the paint and I would fight for it. But he went abroad and completely forgot about me. After some time I met A. He is modest and shy, not knowing how he spoke to me. We became boyfriends, we fit sex, feelings, common interests that even visually resembled each other. I told him about ours and introduced him to them. My mother asked him for sex and he cut her off and he was no longer welcome. If he found out we were seeing each other, he would beat me, but I was patient because I was in love. He broke my cards and phones. We hid my relationship for 5 months until I turned 18 so I could legally leave. We lived together, I felt wonderful. Four years. After a while, however, I realized that he was still in love with his best friend from school. They didn't go, but he loved her very much. She had become a stripper and was taking drugs. He seemed to have forgotten her, but he kept talking about her every day. How he looked at her in the hospital after a motorcycle accident, where they went, how happy he was. I was naturally annoyed and decided to change to look like her so that she would like me more. I started reading about cars and other things new to me. However, there was no big change, he was still carried away. After a while, another of his friends appeared, with whom I happened to see that they were texting. Then I took to check. Such things were simply not true. Everything was as it should be in bed, he was my second husband and I was his second wife. We changed all poses, even whistles. But he was clearly missing something. They were secretly seeing the other one, he was lying to me. Until I once told him I knew they were texting, but I was guilty of checking the phone. I started to defy him to make him jealous. I also started writing to husband I. He naturally flattered me and I told him what was going on between us. Things began to deepen. I shone constantly when I read my phone and he saw it too.
One morning he pulled me out of the covers and started beating and pushing me. He wanted me to tell him the password so he could see who was writing to me. I didn't say it and he hit my head with a chair and it made me blue. He told me to leave and left. I packed my things and after the emergency I went to I. We had never seen each other before, he lived on the other side of Bulgaria. I went there, but A kept calling and apologizing, there was no point without me, etc. I decided to try this boy to shake everything off. He was supposed to be a princess to him, and so he treated me well, but I soon realized that he was lying to me about everything. That he went to work, and he slapped me, stole me and sold my drugs. After 5 months I wanted to separate, just looking for a place to stay and C started apologizing again. He came every day to beg me to get together, I remembered, how much I loved him and the good moments and we got together. So to this day. We have been together for 9 years, he does not want a wedding, he does not want a child. In the beginning everything was fine, but he doesn't like to go out anywhere, that's why I don't go out either. Otherwise we travel a lot. We started a common business only with work and deprivation. But I don't know why he doesn't enjoy anything, nor is anything done to him. Whatever I do, he doesn't enjoy anything and is still angry. Therefore, this is passed on to me and I am not happy. I would only be happy if he paid more attention to me and showed me his love. To hug me, to kiss me to do different things together.
Recently I saw him writing to women again, he only wanted sex, I have a relationship, but he didn't want to die with only one woman in bed. I am very sick and heavy. And it's always like talking. I saw that my first boyfriend V. wrote me how I was. This one, who was a whore. I told him that I had a son at 5, but he was not happy with his wife. He was very sorry that he didn't appreciate me at the time and that someone else didn't love him like that. It was important to him that I dedicate my first time with him. He's been looking for me for a long time. He wanted an opportunity to prove to me that he cared about me. He no longer wanted many low-quality women, only one that was worth it. What to do, just some horror. I really wanted not to lose 9 years of my life and I love it, but on the other hand I don't think so. I just want to be happy What to do, just some horror. I really wanted not to lose 9 years of my life and I love it, but on the other hand I don't think so. I just want to be happy What to do, just some horror. I really wanted not to lose 9 years of my life and I love it, but on the other hand I don't think so. I just want to be happy
1 ariadnee_nolan answered
Mother, all your partners are a complete tragedy. As I read, no one is good for anything. You're not doing well. What's the point of coming back if it didn't happen before ... I don't know anyone who has been in such a situation to give advice