Hi. I have no physical flaws. I have the same problem with communication as you. I practically don't have any friends I even have coffee to drink with. I have a family and two children. My husband thinks I have the problem. I was not a bad person but on a cold distant pompous I say inappropriate things. That's the thing. It weighs on me sometimes but I guess that's how I'm going to be...
People are superficial, but not that much. Besides hair loss maybe there's something else, but you never thought it might be a problem. In my opinion, instead of asking here, ask people who know you personally.
I have concerns that the problem is not related to your hair at all, but you just have weak communication skills.
After all, as a man who goes bald, I know what it feels like, quite unpleasant, and it can be depressing. It is quite possible to take a deep breath into this problem and carry it VC the others. My advice is to collect money and graft your hair, then you can see if it's from this, but I highly doubt it.
It's either that or you don't have it. It's not about the looks and the like. It's like me and my wife are the opposite. Wherever she goes, she immediately meets the people and then they look for her, not her. It's happened a lot, we're somewhere, and she's talking to someone, but she talks like they know each other. When asked "Where do you know her/him", she responds "We have met", where I remain horrified. When she was met, when she got close and all this while I was there, and I didn't even notice.
As long as I've never been able to make friends with anyone, not even my own relatives, wanting to hear from us, looking for her, not me. Although, to be honest, I never had the need to have friends. People loaded me more.
As for my wife, she's not some super extroverted and exciting person, but she's just natural, casual, and free. It does not bother her and people subconsciously absorb from her inner balance and this attracts them. Although she has a lot of reasons for me to be moody-her father died when she was 11, she had a very serious and extremely poor childhood, so much so that she was in bed hungry, her mother had schizophrenia and harassed her. While I worry trivial things like "Why do I get only 1300", "I want more than life" and stuff like that.
I ask her "Well, how can you have no desire and what you have as little as it is, always enough". She calls me that I've never had any real problems, so I didn't realize it was enough just to be healthy and your child growing up with parents. And obviously this serenity frees her, and me constantly, something is straining me, and I radiate this to people and I rather burden them with my presence, rather than give them some pleasant appearance.
She writes you a woman of 28. I have distanced myself from many people, from gossip, from those who have filled a free interval with me, from people who have frankly used me. I'm going to give you some examples, because I used to be with your thinking that I needed to win people. Now I'm thinking that they should win me. The difference is a key. I used to be someone like you who tried to always help, listen, to be liked, on the one hand. On the other hand, I am such a person by nature, I like to help. But what happened. I had a classmate I thought was a friend. Several times after agreed meetings on my part, she stayed half an hour literally and then said she had a deal with friends. It puzzled me, because I was releasing for hours, not to say the day to see each other, and I finally stayed with my finger in the mouth. She's my neighbor. Every time I see her down the street she says, "I'd love to see you, ring some time," and I called. The last time she told me, I replied, "When you call me, i'il see you." Hicks. Another friend of mine used to use me as a basket for psychic waste, not even asking me how I am. Couldn't 8 months and Hicks. The colleague I thought was a friend couldn't fit into the team. People don't like her because she's very commenting on the others and all that evil. She was very upset about this isolation that was imposed on her, and I was sorry. She got there to call me every day and for hours to load me up with how bad all the work is, and she's already sick with grief, blood pressure, hair loss, whatever you think. I listened to her, but that was a burden on me enormously. She came up with some reason to fight me and she started insulting me. Hicks. And frankly, I feel better. So, you and I have a problem with people. We're aiming to be useful to them, which is a mistake, taking it for granted. Instead of recruiting who is around us, having requirements, we are falling to a position to be helpful to people who take advantage of our insecurity. I tell you that as a person with the same problem, when we change our thoughts and actions towards others and ourselves, they will change it.
And I'm the same, even my wife.
I'm 27 years old, and I currently have quite a narrow circle of people looking for me and interested in me. In addition, that I do not live in UK, the problem becomes even bigger.
With only one of my colleagues from the university, we write and we hear each day, plus another very good friend of mine, with whom we write 1-2 times a week.
But in general, this well-described problem I had in childhood and teenage years.
I had a rather introverted period during puberty, which had happened for days not to leave the house during the summer holidays.
Nobody was looking for me, nobody cared about me, even when I went out with my "friends" they behaved pretty badly with me. And I was constantly encapsulated. I had toxic parents and things just didn't go well.
The university has changed a lot, but at times I felt what you were describing.
And I'm not a bad person, I have some kind of internal brake that won't let me talk behind people's backs, I've never made any intrigue about fights and filth not to talk. I would even say that I am quite responsive, and sometimes I put other people in front of me, helping them without receiving anything in return.
In short, I have a familiar psychologist, and I think soon to visit her and to unravel the problem. Personally, I believe that my case is rooted in my childhood, my parents, my upbringing and some of my complexes.
I don't know what you think of this discipline and the walking of a psychologist in general, but I think I'il try. My wife walked a few times and will continue to walk, and there are quite a few "improvements" so to speak from towards self-esteem and communication.
If you ask me people you don't need-99% of British are pathetic creatures (we do not behave like humans), the remaining 1% are headed to Terminal 2!
And I am for the terminal, and I will return only when die the hypocrites, the vicious and envious!!!
Being a well-adjusted person in the world we live in means you're not normal, because the norm and the majority are not.
The Crows are gathering in the flocks, the Eagles fly themselves.
A friend of the time said that... but my personal opinion is that 99% of the people are looking for you when there are common interests, or to have some benefit from you. Real friends no more. The time I traveled abroad with a boy, we befriended the plane, I was already living there, and he was going to work. , I helped him with information and advice, how not to spend it, he would have stayed on the road before he came home, prayer to stay in our weeks. Call,, no problems, he came home to UK, even for a new year did not call to say,, for many years,, and for relatives not to mention how much I helped, and they only turn their ass where they have an interest.
I absolutely agree with commentary number 7-the the British is the lowest creature, inferior to the gypsy. So what are your friends and acquaintances? In this life the most are protected by British, although I myself am of this ethnicity, I am quite ashamed of this fact. And I'm going to go through Terminal 2 in a few days, and I don't think I'll be back soon.
Ж21
I would advise you in the first place to read Dale Carnegie's book-"How to make friends and influence others" will clarify some important things, such as that in 2 weeks you can build more friendships if you are interested in other people than for 2 years if you are trying to make them interested in you.
In fact I am not a person with wonderful relationships with others at this stage of my life, but at least I understand you. I've noticed that friendships often hold a common interest where they actually started.
I think your biggest problem is self-esteem and thought patterns that you've built from the variety of "I'm not enough, and people repel me." And your thoughts govern action, and how you perceive things, therefore it becomes a reality that you are afraid of.
Look at the side and see if you want to be friends with yourself. If you are too booked and a non-welcoming person, it is normal for people to avoid you (this applies to me somewhere). As for your disadvantage, learn to laugh at yourself. Instead of ashamed of him, emphasize it and be proud. This thing distinguishes you from all and gives you your own uniqueness. Accept yourself completely and start loving yourself.
I'm just playing 10 min to write a comment in order to help and you even don't udobeite it? And it happens for the 5th time at least-are you more serious
Some people... Watch them single a group or community when there's some kind of deal, or when they have to spit on someone and what kind of justice fighters they are when they're not in a bargain. Then watch them in the opposite situation. I have been in muddy states like Nigeria, Sudan and others with a similar level of development and such a miracle I have not seen anywhere. There, until I started pull my luggage out of the car, he immediately ran someone to help me. No, it's not about the money you thought, it's just about the help itself. It's not about stealing anything. Poor people with one garment on the back and naked children have helped me just because you are European, they want to take pictures with you, and if you do something about them they will worship you. Such a miracle as in the UK believe me there is NOWHERE.
A psychologist will answer you right away. The root is in childhood, it is your thought that you have to do, not to be to be loved and approved. You have not learned that your mere presence is valuable. It's valuable. You don't accept yourself, so many demands may have been, which were not quite adequate with your age. You've grown early, you had to take care of yourself early, you were forced to suppress your emotions early. You were missing a close. I'm just pondering.
Everything in you can repel. Body language, energy. Do not focus on changing behavior, but on changing the way you perceive yourself. The attitude of the people to you is a mirror of your attitude towards yourself. You are a critical of the inner world, your monologue. What are you not able to accept? What's this wall between you and the people, what are you afraid they're going to know if they get a lot closer if they stick around long?
I want you to take a few minutes. And do a practice you can before sleep. Just make sure no one's going to interrupt you. Lie down comfortably, on your back, focus on your breath. Listen to him, play. Imagine that you inhale through the nose cool calm and exhale through the mouth the heat of tension. When you enjoy three consecutive deep breaths. You fill the belly, the solar plexus and the chest, all the way up to the shoulders and exhale nicely to the end. Then go back to your comfortable breathing. Remember a place from your childhood where you felt good, sure, happy. Give yourself time to paint the details of the place, remember the smell, the sounds. When you like it, imagine yourself as a child there, observe the side, what the child is doing, in what mood it is, give yourself time, watch it quietly. When you're ready, get close to the kid, talk to him. Ask him how he feels, what he needs, ask him how you can help him. You're a grown man, you can take care of that kid. Calm him down, reassure him that you will hear his needs, assure him that you love him and accept what he is. Make sure it's good that it deserves your good attitude. Listen to everything he wants to tell you, make sure you get him to feel better. Finish the practice whenever you want to have your palms on your shoulders and hug the child inside you. If it's before sleep, you can hug it and sleep it off.
If you decide to tell the experience, it will be useful.
Healthier
Well, a thought about your colleague's comment, what we're talking about. Crap. The truth is that communication between the British is difficult because the opinion is. That being friends with someone needs to know everything about you and share everything, to self-load with Probleme and dramas, and to be obligated to each other. My friend, for example, doesn't have a car, and it keeps slipping me to drive it when we're somewhere. And he does it in style, you're a liar. She had no money now for a car, but the others are also obligated. I, too, have become increasingly distant because I want other types of friendships and acquaintances. I just want a casual and unstressful friendship, but it's hard. And for the hair I'm sorry, you can use a spray color for the whole hair, as well as hairbands that will disguise this problem, but they are stylish.
It's the same with me. But I'm a man of 26. The problem is, we spend time on everyone, and we end up empty. We remain impersonal for foreign opinion. Because of what people will say.... Well, finally, what people said...
Guys, am I the only one who interprets the sentence "You don't have girlfriends in London, right? Where are you from? "Like," You're new in town, and you're about to develop your circle of friends, since you don't know anyone yet, "maybe she was going to follow a coffee call afterwards, for the sake of inclusion... But you don't know what your reaction was. I'm not saying you're not right--maybe your interpretation is fair. Keep in mind, however, that our fears and complexes very often blur the adequate assessment... Next time you hear something like that,
You can (with a neutral tone!!!) Ask your interlocutor "what exactly did you want to say?" and hear the answer. In some moments, you won't believe how wrong you've interpreted someone's words, and there's been a misunderstanding.
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