Hi my story is as follows. 8 months ago, working in a company, I met for the first time with this one of my colleagues. Of course in appearance I liked her immediately, but I had no intention of trying anything, because in general I am quite ambitious and had a lot of side commitments and I thought that a relationship at this stage could rather hinder me. . The second factor was that the age difference is quite large. Or so I thought quite naively then. In the process of work and the limited contacts I had with her, she began to like me more and more as a person with qualities that I personally appreciate very much. With each passing day, I began to realize more and more that I had met my ideal for a woman, and realizing this, unconsciously came love. Over time, I was able to figure out that she also has a boyfriend (of course), which was an additional factor that wouldn't allow me anything. Being held hostage to feelings and circumstances, I began to consciously avoid her and try to minimize my relationship with her (work). In order for the picture I am trying to paint in front of you to be complete, I will have to describe, albeit subjectively, what her attitude towards me was. I'm sure that from the very beginning she made an impression that I like her as an appearance, yet in this respect every woman has enough experience / instinct. Soon after I began to avoid her, she sensed it and also deliberately avoided me. I may have been crazy, but I had the feeling we were playing some kind of cat and mouse game.
At first I deliberately made our breaks diverge, then I noticed that she was doing the same. All sorts of hypotheses about her behavior began to spin in my head, from the fact that she didn't like me, to the fact that maybe I was wrong and she wasn't what I thought, she was just playing with me. Of course, when there was a need to communicate for work, we did it, when we talked we talked not only strictly about work, but there were also jokes, as there are in every company. After a while, she started looking for contact with me, with no real reason to do so. She usually asked me one or two questions and left, which made me think she had more positive feelings for me. Back to me. After the shocking discovery that I am in love at this very stage of my life, and for a person who is committed, my life has become a literal hell. I had to see her every day and remind her, that I am in a situation for which I have no solution. On the one hand, if I do something after I know she has a boyfriend, it will be immoral, and on the other hand, I had a lot of projects that were started but unfinished and I risked going to the movies, as I did later. After a while I decided to solve the problem permanently as just a rage quit. In fact, one day I just told the boss that I wanted to leave immediately, he told me to think and the next day to tell him if my decision was final. The next morning I confirmed and had to wait for my documents to be drawn up, promising that I would be free to leave once I received them, even though my day was working. The rumor spread and apparently reached her, because for a period of 2 hours I had the feeling that she did everything she could to talk to me and give me a chance to invite her on a date ... But I fool, I didn't do anything, of course.
After I received my documents, I just left. As soon as I left, I was struck by the cruel truth that this was the end, without even having a beginning. I got on the subway, but I had the feeling that I was suffocating, that the road between the stations was endless, so I got off and started wandering aimlessly around the Borisov garden. It was a nice autumn time, people were walking, children were playing, and I was walking like a dead man among the living without direction. Shortly afterwards, a heart appeared on the back window of my car, of which there could be only one artist. I have to admit that I was thinking of sending her the biggest possible bouquet of flowers, but I kept wondering what the point was and what it would change. Anyway, I kept telling myself, she has a boyfriend, and I already realized how stupid I had been with this rage quit. More than 6 months have passed since that autumn day, and I have not stopped thinking about her for a day or dreaming about her at night. Realizing that the real success is the shared, I dropped everything. I am no longer excited about the big things, as before, I would even say that I am indifferent to them. I exist, but I don't live and I can pay the price for thinking that I understand the important things in life. If you are still with me after this rather long post, firstly I want to thank you for your time and patience and secondly to ask you as women: Is there hope? Do you think that despite the fact that she did the right thing, and I did not, it made a negative impression on me in her. Do you think that one day, if we meet by chance or not, she will even recognize me? In conclusion, I just want to add, that I usually do not share my personal feelings with a wide range of people, even a few on forums, they were anonymous, but after 6 lost and suffered months I need at least a little hope and advice to move forward. And just to add that she also no longer works in this company. Thanks for your time!
1 abc7la answered
The same story happened to me with small differences. I was in your place (in love) and I didn't have a boyfriend. And he, like you, began to avoid me and looked at me badly .... I also began to avoid him, because I had already sunk to my ears. After I left the place in question forever, he did not look for me, which means that apparently the Chuvash were not mutual. Your story really touched me, and I don't think the girl was indifferent to you at all, she just didn't dare look for you out of respect for her boyfriend, especially if she had a long-term relationship with him.