Hi, I know a lot of people are going to start to accuse me here, but I have no one else to share my feelings with. My story is as follows I have a man and two children, but my husband is 12 years older than me, before it did not matter to me, but the difference is already felt serious. To me he is a very good friend and father of my children and there. It's all routine and we rarely have sex. For 20 years I have not looked and I have not even thought about another man, but two months ago and I myself do not know how it happened, but to work with a colleague who is my set with the likes and after a month of flirting we finally got to bed. He's a bachelor, and from the beginning, we agreed, that we can't have anything more than sex, because neither he wants to ruin my family, nor do I want to spoil it, so we hide and meet when we can, and the rest of the time we write constantly, my husband is drinking and falls asleep, the kids are big, and I'm staying alone and all night we write. The problem is, I started falling in love with him, I'm going crazy, I keep thinking about him, and I feel like I'm smiling while I think about him, but I think he's not feeling the same, even today when we saw each other and what happened, I don't know, but he asks--you won't be mad at me if I find something serious, and I have to create my own and Children to have. I told him, of course. But internally it rips off, and I wonder why, why we brought fate together, there should be a reason for it to happen to me, it's not just to suffer... I really can't give him what he wants, I'm late for children and a new life as if, but I love him and we really fit in every way. What should I do, please do not attack me, but give me advice, I really suffer... I don't know if he's testing what I am, but I can't ask him, and I can't share what I feel for him for fear of losing him.